whensn0wmelts-jw

gosh..confessed!

2007-12-15T07:28:00.000-08:00

OMG!
CAN U IMAGINE A GIRL WHO REJECTS A GUY AT FIRST WENT TO CONFESS BACK TO HIM AGAIN?
i am so damn stupid lurhs.. dunno why the hell i went to tell him i like him.
oh gosh.. this time really ps liaos..
hais
he said ' i really dunno what u wan , first ask me be ur kor now say u like me , i very confused .. jus continue as normal los.. let nature take its course bah.. good nite sleep tite..'
from here i can see , he dun really wanna hav a relationship with me ler.
but well nvm lurhs.. its alrite..
i dun intend to get married also what ..
buahahahas!

anyways...
today was the first day at work , i did foot massage for 2 ladies..
the first was quite ok.. i did mask for slimming for her followed by foot massage.. hmmm quite ok.. she din say much only said i din use enff strength..
the second was.. quite demanding..
i did a foot massage as told . and i did. 15 mins for a foot.
but she said they charged her 1 hr treatment.. and asked me to do more.. she find excuses like , ' can u help me massage more here and here , quite tired lurhs.. '
thn do los..
i told u , i really did a 1 hr massage ok..
i anyhow do for her cos sch haben even teach me those step. so anyhow los..
hahahs. but at least she enjoy. thn ok los..
hahhas. she comment that my massage was good jus that i din set the time well..
ok thanks for the feedback!

i will jia u de!

it wasnt me . or isit?

2007-12-12T04:05:00.000-08:00

sowie to post so late..
this happened on last saturday 8dec.

not gonna say much.. jus look at the potos can? (:

this is wen we arrived at the ESCAPE.

cathi said to take poto as a memory (:

then we went in to play of cos!

while we were waiting for the two kids playing the water game.. ' wild n wet '

we took more potos (:

my sis wanted to play the other water game . as i need to take kare of them..

i joined them.

here , i almost kick up a fight with 5 kiddos. keep saying we cut their queue.

they got it wrong. it was the other 2 malaysian kids who needs to rush back to malaysia and their mum asked if we could let them go first. at first i was a straight no.

but they rushing back , i said ok..

but whu knows, the malay girls behind us , go off. behind them was the 5 kiddos..

they kept saying all that shit.. ok i gave chance. i ignored..and went to play the game..

thn after the game , wen the staff asked to come back , my cousin was still stuck on the water.

and that fatso from the group said ' she think she princess ar '

this , i got my anger. and i stared at him and rolled eyes on him.

i know this is kinda childish.. but , u can scold me , but dun ever scold my family.

thn that fatso went to tell this skinny idoitic girl . and she came and looked at me. yes of cos , i stared back.. she jus kept staring back. well i stared back of cos!

hahas.. thn after the game , we went to rainbow , they still playing.. wen we came off, the also jus finished . they jus walk past me but din stare anymore . cos i think she tot at first i only 3 person , but they din see cathi and her frend.. so the jus pretend they din see me. (:

peace pple! eat peach (:

after all the games , we got hungry..

went to mac for lunch..

the two kids was like.. hahas. damn funny lurhs..

at mac, everyone was very quiet. so i started to crack some jokes..

and yes. my sis , was too full and at that moment , she even wanted to vomit. -.-

scary..

after mac, we saw this very ke ai de so called ' FAIRYTALE LAND '

so wen went to took some potos.

cute isnt it?

we went back to ESCAPE after that ..

played till close..

and yes , my sis won a big big big big dolphin and i had to carry for her from east coast back to sembawang.. by BUS!

omg.. can u imagine how tough it was when pple looking at u and say ..

' SEE ! SO BIGGGGGGGGGGGG~ '

i got stressed ok!

but no matter what ,

those two had fun . so as for me (:

GREAT DAY!

jerks

2007-12-06T06:12:00.000-08:00

sowie past 2 days was like hmm... moodswing los.
tue nite went to watch movie. tatootist. with that garrel..
hmm was quite lame lurhs the movie..
wed nite went to work and got sacked..
in the morning went for interview at yvon's aunt spa salon..
and i got EMPLOYED!
but it will be quite stress there. and i am quite looking forword for it and also kinda scared of it los. cos its like .. first time working at a dream spa..
i really thank god !! woot!

jus now the garrel was like..
' oh got one chio bu standing next to me , should i go and take number from her.. '
thn i said can , go los.
thn he was like ' i was not asking for ur permission.. jus asking for ur opinion. '
thn i was like .. go lurhs .. i din say anythg , u wan go los.. ask me for what..
thn suddenly he says . ' ok los. i msg u later ok . i need time to go msg her and know her better '
thn i was like .. whateva...
thn now he says i was jus kidding..

go fuck shit lurhs.
guys are just jerk.. plain idotic jerk.
flirt and flirt..
onl go for chiobu-s.
lols..
' looks are only a layer of skin alrite '
kns. agrh

2007-12-01T05:26:00.000-08:00

yday finally went to sch.
and i hav decided not to quit school already.. thanks to tina and von..
love u guys.. i really do.
and thanks Miss Soh too. she's really sweet. she sent me msgs , encouraging me not to fall.
and even if someone look down on u , dun ook down on urself.

well yday sooooo happy los. i enjoyed my day out..
went home around 2 am los.
hahas.
ok, after school went out with mum to clark quey ,go find job.
but in the end nth los.. out of 10 shops , only 2 want pple. but ... FULL TIME.
well nvm los.. thn we sat out ,beside the river.. tot of the memories with those pples..
thn i asked how's life with her bf..
thn tok los..
we even played lame game..
HEI BAI PEI!
hahahs..
thn ok.. before the game .. got one shy guy came to us , ask to do survey .. lols.!
thn joke with him also los.. so cute los the guy.. my type ok!
hehehs..

after which i went to meet shu hui.
she's late again. everytime meet her also same de los. kns!
ok, thn we went to eat mac at bugis .. that place where i lost my darling.
hmmm thn she treat me eat fries as i din hav enff money los..
thn as we ate. we toked about her story los..
yday really alot of story to hear los.. hahas.
((:
ok i am bad cos i din go work..
all garrel's fault los..
hahas..

okok . after that as i need to walk another one and a half hours for garrel.. i went to the nearby library..
there 's alot of art books los.. i really love that place ok.!
but i cant find the one that i really like..
ok. thn i went to meet him at bugis there. thn he late los..
first time meet also late .. really ar.. hais los.!
thn ok lurhs.. her hair's scary like what my bro described..
thn ok we went to find a place to eat..
u know what as we are going towards terra , i saw one of the ' b '
so sway los... she saw me thn she was toking very loud , also what she toking.. i chose to ignore los..
such lame pple also hab.. pple nowadays are getting weirder..
hmmm thn went to terra , he ate nia ok.. cos i dun wanna use his money also..
he keep saying the thgs there not his wei kuo.. he very picky de los.. thn as he eats , he tell me his story .. saying his father is a chef , blah blah blah.. thn like keep picking on me los.. as in jokin that kind los.. lols... really buay tahan him..
thn after we eating , we went to bugis tt shoppingcenter to walk. thn i say ,
' aiyah i dun like bugis , got alot of pple i will bump to de.. all those pple los .. agrh '
he says.
' if u see one more time , u tell me , we confirm change place. '
thn i was like.. DIAO!
yun dao .. ok lurhs we walk there like sian los.. no where to go also..
thn i realised bugis changed alot ..
ok. thn we came to the neoprint shop.. he pulled me in.. its like.. shocked to see a guy , wanna take neoprint de los .. somemore he is zhu dong ask me go take de los.. hahas..
okok but we din take . cos ps los.. somemore it like u know .. i dun even know him los.. he keep want want want . thn sa is for memory. hahas.
but now i know why..
thn before we go to bishan , we walked pass a wallet shop. thn he put his hand on my shoulder like turn me around. thn i ask him wht. thn he sy buy wallet for me. thn i was like .. noooo!
he force me in los.. but in the end i say i dun wan wallet , i wan psp..
he say , woah.. hahas!!
thn he say , u wan play i lend u lurhs..
thn we walked around till. we decided to go find my bro at bishan.. but he's not there.
i tell you.. while on met to bishan, he changed le los..
he keep standing very close to me .. thn like jus very close to me lurhs..
somemore wen we reach there he stand behind me very near thn put his his hand over my shoulder to the wall.
somemore he holds my face and put it near to his face . meaning close , face to face very near..
thn we decided to watch movie.. his treat los..
waitwaitwait. i saw huitong (:
ok in the cinema.. we watched enchanted.. so happy and the chipmunk is cute (:
it was very cold inside los.. thn i used my uniform to cover me.. thn he too kind le. he held my hand ok!
omg.. hand cnnt anyhow let pple hold de.. heng got message , thn he let go of m hand..
hais..
say no feel is fake lurhs.. but i think he wont fall for me also de lurhs.. haha..
fat hope nia.. ahhas!

2007-11-29T08:20:00.001-08:00

sometimes , i really envy my mum.
she give up everythg to us.
example is , she use her money , whcih she intending to get her hair reborned but she say , my sis going need sch , so a grown up already . so i let her do instead.
and think back . wen we were still young , she give us all the fleshy parts of a chicken , and she ate the bone ..
and my father, worked very hard , dun wan us to suffer. wen we needed him , he sure is there to support.
for example , wen i broke off with justin that time , he smsed me a joke .and it made me smile.
and now , recently , had some more misunderstands with those pple. he also tried to help me.. i really am great and i thank god for giving me such a good gift.
this christmas , i hope i hav the time to celebrate with them.. (: i wan to make this xmas a great one.. (: best , memorable one !

jus now rosanne mama called me .. thn we chatted a lil. toking abt that freaky old place again
and tml we are going to find jobb!!
hehehes!
cos i know i cant stay long in that telemarketing place any longer ler..
no sales. no nothing..
but nvm .. now hav 1 pending. hope mr chua can get the sales for me .. its ok if its c1 . at least i got sales can ler. !

abt school , i am giving myself another 1 week . if everythg is still fine thn i will stay .
if its still like now , sorry to say byebye to this course.
although i relly love this couse and love to stay.. but with this kins environment , sad to say , i cant concentrate.. i jus cant..
i hope everythg will be fine soon

and my lovely wallet.. please come back to mama.. i really miss u.. and those things inside..
i dun wanna lose it de. i am so sorry to lose u...

and i am going to concelling session soon. getting myself one ..
cos if i dun go , soon i will get depression..
so , please pple, stop giving me stress... i need a rest.
a good rest..!

. SUNSHINE AFTER RAIN .

what a life.

2007-11-28T22:27:00.000-08:00

my 3 years wallet , 3 years poto. bank card and life long ic , all gone in jus a wink.
i dun remember clearly where i put my wallet after buying mac
and shuhui was there keep sayin about her trip at the chalet. and yah , we keep laughing and joking around..
thn wen i was back home , i realised my wallet was gone .
what happened to me ?
even such important stuff , i can jus lose it..
and those fucking bitch.. what do they really wan?
i wanna quit school already..
i cant stand it anymore..
i jus wanna sleep foreva..
i dun wanna see anyone anymore.
but if i quit , my future will be gone..
what am i to do?

ps : thanks mum and dad for accompany me go around the place to look for it ..
i love u all.
and really hope that person who found my wallet , please return back to me , its ok to take the money inside. i jus wan those stuff back and the wallet. money its ok... jus give me back my wallet ..
GOD *.. i need your assitant ..

fuckin me

2007-11-27T06:43:00.000-08:00

hais.. damn sian. i jus made a very stupid mistake , i wrote a nick , forgot to block xuelin from msn and i think she saw it and imagine if she onlines using school's comp. what do you think she will do? of cos is online lirhs and show it to those bitches!! fuk mans.. i am so damn stupid!!

and i am still bothered by those ah lians stuff los..
its like .. i din do anythg to them already .. and also tried to avoid them as much as possible already.. thn what else ou pple wan me to do?
quit school? or go commit sucide?
i dun understand .. out of no where u all wanna find trouble again.
what's wrong!
tell me lurhs..
why suddenly ask another outsider and join in jus to whack me?
whacking me is so fun?
i dun wanna be the number 2 pearlynn
u think i am that fuckin free to play with you kiddos?
u know what although i am kinda scared but , if out of a sudden u say u wanna whack me for no reason .. jus 3 numbers will do.. and dun think i dare not call..
luckily i hav mum to help me stress out a lil.
i dun wan my parents to worry abt me again..
i am so fucking childish isnt it?
whats wrong with the world today?
why is everythg so cropped up?
can i jus grad faster?
everyday fearing of having lunch alone..
and this bothers me and lead me not going school so often anymore..
i used to love sch so so much..
now its becoming more and more like a jail to me..
what shld i do?
i am so damn tired of life..
and tired of seeing pple like them .!
what can i do...
god please help me..
i really really dun wish this to go on anymore...!!!

saddening news in cambonia

2007-11-26T06:40:00.000-08:00

are u aware of the news of the five pple who died in the cambonia?
the five dragon-boat-ers.
i bought the NEWPAPER to know more about their news . i watch news to understand whats going on..
i felt sad as i read their story ..
my tears rolled down my cheeks ..
its really a waste that they just lost their life just like this ..
if they had life jackets on , they would me at least a chance more for them to be alive..
but its all too late , i really felt sad for the family and for them as well.
after i read the article , i told my mum ..
' ma , think shi jie muo re [ world is ending ] coming ler .. hais..'
why mus pple die?

REST IN PEACE , THE FIVE STRONG ONCES <3
may god bless

and i think , since its so , i cant die jus like tt , i mus live my life even better .
anyways..
read kor's chat log to that bitch .
it goes like this ,
the suddenly ask if my bro has a sister..
thn my bro din answer , but she keep forcing my bro to ans.
and so my bro say no..
ok..
today , it worte somethg , confidencial . thn suddenly she attitude to my bro saying ,
' do i hav to report you for everthg? '
thn my bro say no need lurhs..
thn she says bye . thn she says
' jus to let you know , your sis will be in trouble , i'll find her '
this really brings me a lil fear ..
and i cried again..
why isnt there any end to this stupid small matter?.
childish are childish..
dun understand why outsiders wanna join in the fun..
first is the frendster , now is a bitch looking out for me . and what's next ?
asking police to force me out of this country?
how lame can people be nowadays?
dun understand pple'e thinking already ..
i am so numb as to myself..
i dun understand myself as well.. i feel so tired of everythg..
why jus cant this matter drop?
when can i jus grad ?
can 8 more mnths pass faster?.........

things in my heart

2007-11-25T04:39:00.000-08:00

i really i was dead now ,
leaving all those unhappyness and this stupid complicated world.
i dun understand why i became like this today.
i notice the change in me ..
i feel nth at all now ..
i used to be a very look-upon- tml tat kinda person..
now , i jus hate wen day is gonna end ..
i hate my sch , i hate my school mates , i hate studying..
cos of u pple , i really hate all that i used to love alot.
my wish of getting into a good spa and work there , hav vanish..
i feel so reckless now , i feel nth to anythg anymore..
i feel so much like crying now ..
what happen to me lately?..
a super sudden mood swing..
what happen to my attitude as well?..
i used to love studying so so much ...
now i jus feel this course is so damn dead ..
in sch , i hav lunch alone . last time i used to hav it with so many pple ,
now i study alone , tok 2 myself ...
projects ? alone as well..
what am i suppose to do?...
i did the same old stupid thg again..
cut and more cuts ..
i feel so stress..
i wish i wont wake wen i sleep ...
die in my sleep...
its better thn lookin at thgs i dun wanna see..
can god jus bring me to his side?
i dun wanna live anymore...
this life is so such in a war... i dun wanna live my life this way..
i wanna change , i wanna leave this place ...
i tried to be happy , i tried to ignore thgs they did , i avoid listening to the thgs they say , but , whats the use?..
i am so tired of what i am now..
in such a state ...
from pri 5 , everythg jus changes..
my frends dun like me , getting into quarrels , getting parents to go down sch and tok 2 teachers and ask the kids to stop disturbing me , going home with tears ....
i am so sick of this life...
i wanna end it soon..
i wanna end everythg soon...
i dun wanan plak back those things again...
i jus wanna close my eyes , and nv wake..
i jus wanna die right now........

freaky post

2007-11-24T09:04:00.000-08:00

finally gave back that freaky uniform to that freaky place..
those freaky pple with freaky attitude.
well today was jus a fun day afterall.
but sad thg is , shafawi kena sacked by the boss.
last week was yana , sheqyn and ifa.. left me all alone here.
will i be one of them in the black list as well?
but thanks mr lim for signing up the plan for me..
a last min subscription . i was freaking out wen he suddenly say he dun wan to sign up.
cos i was like kept toking to him for the whole afternoon..
thn heng got shuhui whom help me persude the customer to buy.. so gladful to her..
really lucky enff los. and also.. i pray hard that i get a sales again..
and i thank god for helpin me too!

went out with cathi , alvin and his gay frend .
jus for a while , but we had laugh , cheers and so on.
i din eat much today , was on a budget. hmmm
dun really like his frend , and also dun really like pple with tattoo and like , look so beng wen he's not.
not say i dun like him.. jus dun hav a good impression of him..
well although i like beng kias but he certainly not the type ba. hahas
i think too far ler. pls dun misunderstand..

sometimes i think back , ' am i the one whu made daddy and mummy suffer cos we closed down the shop? '
i think i was the reason whyy customer became fewer and fewer ...
wen i think back , my attitude really stinks like shit..
recently got quite sad over some stuff , keep tearin wen i think abt it .
jus now i even went to the toilet and cried.. db saw somethg was wrong with me , and asked me what happened. well i am ok.. jus that mayb i am jus too tired thinking abt stuff and cos of work ba..
db still am the one whu knows me the best!
i love dbdbdbdbdbdbdbdbdb!

jonathan jus sucks ok?
wishing him happy bday in advance he went offline after tt. cos i told him i might not see u online on ur bday so i wanna wish him in advance , he went offline..
and my msn nick now is , ' guys jus sucks .! especially YOU! . '
somehow i said i hate him .. but think and think , i still like him a lil..
jus a lil! tiny lil lil lil lil percent..
sometimes i think , my face expression jus like , not really true abt me..
wen i sun smile i look chao fierce..
hais.. and also jus now we went out with alvin and his frend , wen they abt to leave , they said bye . but i din even say bye to them back..
so attitude..
somehow i think i wont get a bf or even get married.
hahas.

now probs keep coming...
and i feel so much dead thn alive ..
i wish this is jus a dream .. wake me up pple!
i wanna leave this freakin place with freaky hard solve probs.!
i hope m face will become in better condition..

anyways jus called wenwei.. another attitude freaky guy..
asked if he can tok on pone , he said not now. ok.. nvm
thn he said sowie .. thn i say nvm..
then i say byebye , he jus put down pone.
what's this?
lols. nvm..
look ahead ! i hate u !

xmas is coming .!
cheers pple , CHEERS!
xD

4th day of work

2007-11-21T07:55:00.000-08:00

21.11.07
2356pm

if today i still with justin . its our 3rd aniversary.. so like huai nian lurhs.. so long liaos los..
and its ending in 3 mins time. time really pass so fast..
eh well. nvm since he got what he wants already .. and i haben .. so what keep thinking back?
lols! boringgg~
anyways.. today at work , so happy lurhs.. last min i got 1 sales! so happy! i keep praying to god today ..
' please please god , i need a sales.. jus 1 sales will be enff !! '
and yes! SHE* grant me !
i was like.. omg! yesh!
this customer is called mrs kong.
i contacted her since last fri and yday i tried to ask her again.. so i called her.. and she said she needs to ask her husband again.. so ok i said i call u back tml same time tml? she said ok..
but ... yday was a indian lady whu speck for me.. so i really mus thank her.. and also the one whu helped me , also a lady.. a chi lady.. ahas! see her mus thank them !
but i really mus pray for yana and sheqyn . i dun wan them to be kicked out ar!
jiayoujiayous!

lex was crazy again. saying wan go after me. how lame rite?
all see my pic. fall for my pic. its like.. excuse me! m pic is like sooooooooooo diff from how i look in reallife.. -.-
and wenwei too. 2 days no contact .. but well nvm field camp is u know lurhs. hahas!

and its like .. i soso miss him lurhs.. dunno why lurhs jus think that my luck has come back to me again? or isit its jus pong qiao? hahas well.. what eva it is.. i am glad that these pple are around wen i really need a helping hand (:

next thing..
today while i was on my way home .. from sch..
ok.. LAVANDER..
i saw samantha, one of justin's e gf.. lols. she was with her bf..
its like so qiao that ... i saw celester the one whu bullied me wen i was in sec 1. jus near my hus , while i was going to work los. she was like pretending not to see me lurhs.. she looked down at my shorts .. cos i was wearing a short shorts -.-''
whateva lurhs.. jus qiao that cos today me and justin ' supposely ' 3 years , i saw samantha..
was like shocked cos i was like day dreaming . thn saw her bf..
' oie , how come this guy like i see bf in frendster ar? .. ' thn i think again ' beside one also like weird weird de.. keep looking at me.. ' thn..
DING***
SAMANTHA
hahas... lame .!
well today really hen you yuan los

but daddy and mummy.
sowie i shouted at u jus now.. cos i tired ler.. thn i dun really feel like myself lurhs..
so sowie..!

tml got prac. dunno whu would partner me again.
i really hate prac now.. cos of them lurhs..
now lunch alone ler. prac also alone .. how to learn?
bcos of u pple , i am like tt today.
and stop puting everythg into my fault. cos u hav ur wrongs too..
dun ever put ur wrong to mine cos u are too shameful of ur doing m u push the blame on the others..
please growwww up! KIDDOS!

and also. i really hate to lend pple books.
i 6 days din go sch ler.. 6days u cant finish writting all those notes?..
or is it u lend it to those bbbbbbb..?
up to u ba.. jus dun DIRTY my book..
sometimes i think , why should i lend u my thgs wen u dun hav the responsibility to come to class and in the end u need pple's book to copy?
sometimes i really angry with myself cos ..
i treat u as my frend . yet , u treat me like ur maid..
well so be it ba..
u will hav ur chance to taste this as well..
jus wait ba..
i wont play with kiddos. and why should i entertain u by keep diao here diao there..
i dun care mans!
wahahhas!

nites
1212am

2007-11-14T06:33:00.000-08:00

nowadays i dun understand why pple jus change their attitude wen they are like... proud of somethg.
jus bcos they become so called ' famous ' they tend to look down on those whu aint that ' famous '
well.. today hav the public specking for the bl..
couch jay was so funny i jus couldnt help it but LAUGH!
hmm ok lurhs.. jus very cold inside los.
well after that , i went to bugis for my job training. but before that i smsed e saying i cant work for them ler and leaving toyrus.
thn he replied..
' one week notice '
u think u what ar? M so? big F?
i am soooooooooooooooo f about ur attitude , seeing ur face everytime , mus see ur mood , i rarely see u smile ok!
agrh.
but well.. i wont go back , and if u dun give my pay ..
HEHEHE!

ok.. during bl thingy , angeline was with me also.. and she told me ab
LY. angeline said she keep rolling eyes on me. its like.. i replied angeline..
' she diao me cos i pretty ma then she jealous so she not happy los '
wahahas! thn she was like . ' HA '
lols.. well think positively ma.. if i keep thinking at the wrong side of life , thn my life will be wrong.
lols!
and also that day i saw a poster saying ..
' jin tian gong zhuo bu nu li , ming tian nu li zhao gong zhuo '
meaning ,' if today you dun work hard , tml u work hard in finding job '
get what i mean?
lols.
well , failing or falling is a part and parcel of our life . so think it in a very positive way like ... making it as a joke or what to encourage urself and stand tall again.
i might not be a good girl in the past , but as i think back , i really hav to change this bad habit of think abt the ' impossible ' and also the ' not happening ' meaning i always think this will happen but then , it din . jus that i think too much liaos..
well. if she carry on diao-ing me . let it be , she is jus toooooooo jealous (:
i am unique aint i?
wahahs!

and also.. i really hope my face can be PIMPLE-FREE!!!!
hais..
stress lurhs..
well strive for work .. earn more money!
HIPPPPHIPPPP- HURRRRRRRRRRRYYYY.. ت

empty in my heart.

2007-11-04T01:47:00.000-07:00

4.11.07
4.47pm

so bored at home..! so i decided to blog . althought dun hav the feeling to..
hais.

somehow questions and thinking popped out of my head.
who dont wan to be love?
who dont wish to be love?
who dont wish to love someone?

this question keep popping out somehow..
yday during work , i feel so sad, kept thinking about him..
somehow i feel so stupid and regret.
why i acted that way and why my attitude doesnt change ever since justin left me..
i dont learnt. not a lil.. [ while typing , the him' onlines ]
so upset with myself..
[ he offline ]

- working sucks yday -

ok.. cut short..
wen closing.. pw came to work cos of her bb. she saw me and say
' jinwen , i wrote something for u u got see not? . u go exit and read. '
so i did.. and it wrote..
' JOAN ,please dun ask ur cashier to help u take big ticket for you . GET IT YOURSELF!! [ with two lines below the ' yourself ' ] '
and also the things she wrote there is about exit stuff. i am cashier but she asked me to do all those not my department thingys ..
thn i was like. what the...
shili was beside me also.. thn i ask her..
ok thn i saw pw walking pass the cashier. so i asked her to come . and i asked her what the ' yourself ' means.
she said staff there saw me asking the cashiers to help me do work. which i din at all.. i was like total fuck up with her.. ok , i said no, i didn.. thn she keep insisting i did. i said no again. thn she say , i dunno ar. go see cctv los...
thn i was like sayign to shi li. what the fuck los.. why she give me attitude again.. so fuck los..
thn i say .. ok los she wanna play rough thn i shall play with her..
thn i need to count down . so i went to tower. she wasnt in .. but a lil while more she came in..
thn i ignored her..ok.. cut short..
the last customer was kinda ma fan . and made me blur.. thn i was like.. shortage of money becos of this. thn i was like very stressed up liaos ma.. thn sl also very stressed up. i stress bcos i dunno really remember what the customer used to pay for her things.. thn i remembered.. she use visa. and cos there's promotion for members, i hav to deduct the amt of money from her previous pay , so it was 10 dollars. and how stupid i was, i gave the 10 dollars with CASH! and not deducting from her card.! omg..
thn pw was saying .. now i know why sl wan her to count down last, cos i problem ma..
lols! i keep thinking ar. why her bf will like her.. omg!
cant understand pple nowadays ! omg i so bad.!
aiyar.. since she really wan it this way , dun say i bad ler..
((:

yet another prob.

2007-10-19T20:39:00.000-07:00

- nowaday's prob abt me and the others -

hais..
sometimes jus dun understand what pple are thinking.
today they may treat u nice , tml , nasty.
what's wrong?. jus bcos i dun look as good as u ?
or smell as nice as u?
ya. i know my prob , attitude , negative thinking , and .. tok without even thinking..
words may hurt others , and urself..
agree?. some words might seems to be a joke to u . some may jus hurt pple around , without u knowing it.
thats what i so called discover and made by mistake.
now m and l are both unhappy with me. and i knew it..
soon , the whole group will hate me , curse me and make a shit out of m life.
ok.. let me explain this by sayin what really happen..

✖pls dun fall asleep (:✖

- happenings -

ok. first thg first.. on the day of chalet itself, i was like askin l a question , first , she din answer, thn i asked again , no answer again. so i gave up . thn wen i see both she and j wasnt tokin, i ask again with a louder voice. thn she ans me.. from there i understand 1 thg , somethg was really wrong..
ok . so i said nth . i acted like nth happened also.. thn we reached the chalet. i mean inside. we were sitting ouside , at the bbq area. thn we saw miss soh. so we chatted. and i smsed angeline whu was inside the roon den . asked her out.. she came out of cos.. thn she went towards l they all. instead of saying hi to me , she treated me like invincible. so i was ok.. nvm...thn she brought them to the room.. without asking me along.. only sharon asked me in.. ok. this was fine. but miss soh saw me sitting at a corner alone, she came to me , asked me what happened.. i wasnt wanted to cry at first .. but wen she looked into my eyes , knowing that i wasnt fine , actaully she knows everythg jus by lookin at my eyes. she says , my eyes cant lie. so i started to cry.. i know it may seems childish. but from pri sch , i dun hav the fate to hav frends. cos of my attitude. or jus that i jus dun hab the fate los.. hmmm. * ahem * so i told her everythg , she really tok sense into me los.. but i cant help but cry lurhs.. thn she gave me 2 piece of tissue to wipe my tears , not wantin me to let them see that i cried. oh ya . and also a nugg to cheer me up. ok.. so.. they came back to the pit. thn this time , angeline saw me.. thn said hi , thn tok 2 me, was glad lurhs.. hmm thn the malay girls in my class arrived, bring the food in so that we can cook and eat ler.. thank god .. but i din eat much also.. cos i was kinda emo .

- cooking time -

ok. so i helped to cook los.. ok first i was wantin to help miss soh cook de. so i took the tong? lols dunno how to spell. hmm thn bbq the chickenwings los.. thn m2 came an jus say she wanna help out also , jus grap m tong los.. thn i was like .. ' what the '.... but well nvm.. so i went to take a plate and like fan so it get cooked faster ma.. so i fan los..
whu knows, the say very smokey.. ok.. first thg first.. they asked me to fan de. now the say smokey.. so nvm also..
ok i stop fanning awhile , now i fan again .. thn not to their direction.. thn m2 scold me ' jinwen , dun fan liaos lurhs.. told u smoke liaos.. u wan u fan urself .... ' ok this really made me mad.. so i decided to leave earlier. kinda du lan also liaos.. ok.. so i told miss soh i leaving .. she asked .. ' why ' .
I ' cos tml working '
MS ' orh ok . u wait awhile i also leaving at 7 plus, need to fetch my daughter for tution '
I ' orhs '

so i helped out again . m2 went to eat , so i took over . cos only angeline cooking it ma.. so help los.. but ar.. tell u , it was really fun lurhs. jus tink she is a great leader with good knowledge. everythg also know.. she even got praised by sessionhead and other teachers that her skilss of cookin was good. hahas. good ma like that. well. time pass.. i hav to go. so i said goodbye to everyone , BUT! before i go , i ate 4 nuggs . hahas.. was kinda hungry lurhs.. so ate somethg b4 i go los..

- leaving the chalet -

on the way back , miss soh told me alot of thgs.. first thg is the unhappiness abt the other teachers.. - i wont say it here. as i promised her not to lers - and also , the main purpose of opening a chalet. - farewell for miss ng - kinda miss her now.. though i dun really like her lurhs..
hmmm.. was ver shockin upon hearing this news.. miss soh was kind enff to ask her husband to drive me to the nearest mrt station to take the train home and not wanting me to take bus alone as its kinda late and dangerous alone. i really thank god i have her as my ' GUARDIAN ANGEL ' really. someone whu u can relie on wen u needed , a listening ear and a helping hand. she's always there for me.. although she is my teacher. but to her , we are her kids. ((: hmm ok.. so i waved goodbye to them and went home.

- on the way on train -

on my way home. angel called me.. askin me why i left so early . so i told her los..
and scolded her why she came so late . she was the one whu asked me go de. .now she late herself.. so damn idoit hor? lols. but nvm lurhs.. at least now i get to see her in sch. am very glad to see her coming to sch , attendin every lesson now.. ((: ok thn i recieved a call from my ex. not that fcuking jon lurhs.. hmm thn tok abt job again... keep askin him join us. thn keep like wait wait wait.. pls , i dun hav the whole day for u lurh.. till the day wen u wan the job , pple dun wan hire ler thn blame me.. hais.. dunno what's wrong wif pple nowadays also lurhs..

- wed, yday and today's happenings -

lets tok abt wed first. ok! it was my first day of sch , din go sch on mon , too tired . tue , day off. so wed . the atmosphere was fine .. but somehow , still somethg wrong somewhere . i came to class first . cos i din wanna be late for lesson as i reached sch at 850 amm , thn tie m hair finish , 901 . thn i was like . OMG! runnnnn.. thn i open the door , i saw the teacher , not same , din see b4 , i said sowie , i walked out .. thn my chairman , shouted ' JINWENNNNNNNN! ' thn i was like , looking outside , ' whu call me sia ' . thn i turn back into the class room , PAI SEH LURHS! hahahas. can u imagine that? lols..
ok.. thn settle down . 10 mins later thn they came . but i was sitting infront . with shuting and sharon. we joked los.. thn i turned behind , looked at l thn i put a sign of like ' gonna kill u alive ' ok this action goes ... ok . show me a good sign.. thumbs up lurhs! ok thn i like place at my neck there . move it slowly from left to rite.. got it ma? thn she was like .. abnormal.. she jus smile so faked de smile.. thn i know .. this is really wrong....! ok nvm nvm.. so we went for next lesson . bodaymassage theory.. i jus sat beside angeline , veryyyyyy quiet.. ok. wen u realise , a very noisy person , suddenly becomes sooooo quiet , the first thg that u will think of is? .. ' rainning soon ' or ' omg , sun is gonna rise from the east! ' or even ' pig's gonna hav wings and fly free like birds ' wth... ok.. carry on. * ahem * angeline din tok 2 me either.. ok. l and j came sch on mon . and they hav got notes on some of the points . know what?.. she lent to angeline , and not me . wen i look at angeline's book , she stared at me . i mean j. ok nvmnvm... i dun wan it either.. k let this matter rest.
thn after sch , we went to eat. i was quiet also.. thn they say they wanna go tampines mall. but i din wanna go lurhs.. they din ask me to go also.. nono should say , they din tok to me also.. ok. skip this.. important point.. ok going to take bus... i pei angeline take 31 to the tanah merah mrt there. thn she recall that sharon wanted to take to bugis. but she already left.. so i run towards the overhead bridge . thn shouted ' sharon , u wan take here de bus ma? i going take green line also.. ' thn she was like thinking , thn m2 jiu like psyco her , ' dun wan lurhs.. come come . pei us better ' thn i was like thinking ' STFU can?! TMD ' ok .. i din say lurhs.. thn in the end, sharon kena her psyco los.. go with them .. thn i was like felt quite weird liaos.. thn i asked angeline , she said i think too much.. ok i did think too much.. but still thinking that somethg is sure wrong here. i think that she knew what's going on , jus that she dun wanna tell me.. and reading my previous post , i quarreled with my damn farking ex. thn i was sad ler. so i din think too much abt the frends thingy also.. instead . stress of my farking ex . so i asked rosanne to read my post . she gave her comment abt me ..

ROSANNE : impatient , always want ans immediately .
ANGELINE : attitude , temper
EELIN : grumblin abt others wy they not happy with me
JIEJIE : saying me shouting at her on that day we went to harbourfront. cos i was stress up with both parties that , m2's bf was very anti social and that the others cant stand it . and somemore arranged to hav dinner tgh . and scared things may turn out bad, quarrel in short. thn i was like . i asked her where she was , she say reaching , 20 mins later , ' where are u? ' reaching ler.! thn i say ' faster can not? ' thn she tot i was shouting at her..
SHARON : nth , jus that she thinks i need time to change
L and M2 : attitude , the way i tok , dun think b4 i tok , hurt pple's feelings , no respect .
MISS SOH : u are a sweet , helpful and caring girl , jus that sometimes wen u tok , u intent to hurt pple without u even noticing it. mayb a change might be good , and be more matured. think positively! jus do as what i say , sure u will be better.
FCUKIN JON : i think u should change ur attitude , getting bad to worst

ok.. no respect , i dun agree. cos i am elder thn them , they should respct me . ok respect has 2 kinds.. respect becos i am elder and also respect each other's so called rites. meaning no shooting to the heart. i also dunno lurhs.. ok. so thats my weak point los...
what do u think abt my attitude?. leave me a tag ok!

*** continue with thurs and fri soon (: .. ***

venting anger, dun bother reading

2007-10-17T01:20:00.000-07:00

- relationship and friendship issue -

it seems like , i dun hav the courage , the will and the strength to hold on any longer.
firstly , jon. well. i smsed him askin if we could get back tgh again.. nono.. i asked it this way..
' sowie to distur you again , only wanna ask a final question . do u think we still hav the chance? '
his reply was , ' why ask this silly girl? '
thn i replied ' no lurhs jus asking '
J ' oh , but i dun get what u mean leis. '
Mi ' isnt it clear enough ? '
J' oh , dun i dun understand leis. '
Mi ' oh thn nvm los. '
J ' oh ok . so how's sch today ? '
Mi ' hai hao lo '
J ' oh then taken lunch? '
Mi ' yup taken ler . you? '
J ' ya taken ler '
Mi ' then ok ba. about the previous message , i mean that i still like you and that i hope that we could be tgh again. tc ba '

after which , no reply from him .. till now.
but despite that , i smsed him 2 more .. look ahead.

' thn i ask another question . isit possible? '
no reply .
' suan le . dun wan to sms u nor i wanna see ur msg anymore ler. thanks '
thats all for now..
think this is clear enff to end our so called ' frendship ' as well ba.
i really buay tahab this kinda guys . u know why?. cos they dun even hav the courage to tell pple how the really feel. yup.. it might be mysterious to you. but to me .. its such a shi bai thing . cos. they are only tao bi from what they are doing. jus cant u tell the truth that u still like him or her. why do i hav those courage to tell u and not getting shy or what so ever? i know this is ur chara . but , those pple around u , might feel fustrated with u . u dunno it urself. so now i am tellin u . u can say i am stupid and childish to post this here and let everyone know what u are. but please. wake up! . i am not gonna wait. and dun think i cant live without you . and u know what , i will live my life better without you.
yes. A ask me to jus be patience and jus wait and see. but sowie . i waited too long . and i dun wanna continue getting so foolish and look like a fool.

suddenly THEIR attitude towards me is like . shit . i dunno what happened btwn them i mean , they might spout somethg behind my back and its like.. yup. i am so called a brainless person , i tok without even going through my head.. hahas. its like. so be it ba. since u all dun wanna look at me , tok 2 me or joke with me , its fine . this semester i mus do better thn u . i know it might be difficult. but i am sure i can do it. its kinda disappointing wen x result was better thn mine. and yes. was kinda angry with myself as pple whu din really study , did better thn me. bcos i studied like hell , and yet i got lower thn them . its like a knife stab in me. i dunno why suddenly i feel this way and also why they are treating me like a stranger now. i dunno why. ever since the chalet . i felt that , the bond , the string , about to broken. well . i mus do really well now. i mus do even better thn before. dun think cos ur results are better u can lead the way . look out . cos i will lead the way better thn u do. jus u wait ba. and yes. this post is to vent my anger to . so dun mind ar.!

and yes, he suddenly replied.
' what's wrong with you ? why u nv change ? cant u give me time to think? '
but i din reply.
all i hav to say is .
yes. nv will i change , why change for a person who he dun even care? what if i changed? would u treat me diff? i din change? what abt u? did u? did u change the way of expressing urself and the way u care for pple ? . no! time to think. haven i gave u enff time to even think? today suppose to be second month stupid enff to keep remembering this number. ya.. now i give u time to think . u hav the whole world's time to think . happy thinking then. no matter what.. i will nv sms u again so dun bother to even text me. thanks!

-----

5pm++

i was asleep . and wen i woke cos of the cold outside , i saw my message with two new message . by him. wasnt concerned msg . but raged message.

1st msg..

' i tot u hav changed. but ever since ur last msg ,i know u haven change . dun wan reply rite? fine..'

2nd msg..

' take a look at your last message i sent me . dun give me attitude '

sometimes my words can be harsh , but its becos of anger, jus why he cant understand?.

next ting i did was of cos reply..

' i admit i din change.. but i din give attitude. jus telling you sometimes its very fed up wen one cant read one's mind. its not about attitude , its abt patience .since that day wen u say u still like me i tot we have chance but , its only my wishful thinking. '

J replied :

' oh now my fault is it? i work already very tired and somemore get myself injured . u only think for yourself . give me attitude still wan argue .. well done '

i replied :

' no i din say its ur fault dun misunderstand can? its that sometimes you do somethg i really dun understand thats y i think negatively then lead to this '

J replied :

' but do u need to give me this attitude? '

i replied :

1 -' no. becos i was angry too thats why i nv think le jiu say.'

2- ' dun angry le lurhs. sowie for those words . you should understand how i felt too ba. reply me wen u ok le k . '

J replied :

' u should change ur attitude... getting from bad to worst... '

somehow i think i dint do anythg wrong. i dun understand what's going in his mind.. i kena scold for nothing. think its very shuang?. its so hurting.. i really think he isnt worth my heart... and think. he wasnt the one for me as well....

waiting ,wanting , wishing?

2007-10-15T21:04:00.000-07:00

161o07
1218pm

- relationship issue again -

keep waiting for my pone to ring today . wishing he would at least send me a message.
guess i jus hoping for a false hope ba. hahas. think back , how stupid i was to keep waiting.
he knew i am still waiting for him. few days back , in msn he told me he still likes me. and kept aplogizing about the way he treated me in the past . i felt so warm suddenly. but i think , its all a lie.if he really cares and sowie abt what he did in the past , he wouldnt hav treated me again this time. thinkin that he would come back?. no way ba. i can tell no one abt my prob. cos no one wil care. its my prob afterall. even if someone would listen to me , they will say i am stupid and ask me to give it up. only one person will ask me to wait, angeline.
i dunno what the decision is. i wan to wait . but sometimes it see,s like i am waiting for the sun to rise from the west. and till pigs will fly. its like , he said he still likes me . but why no actions at all?
if u care abt someone and am sowie that he did wrong in the past , will u repeat it again?.
sometimes i tried to accept someone else. but its like , i am jus lying my love to him. and in the end , i failed a relation again. tell me what to do . should i wait for you or should we jus go our way? i really wish u could tell me what u are feeling now. i know i shouldnt disturb u that u are injured now. u know , how i really wan to take care of u . i wish to visit u and take kare of u . but seems so far away.. i am totally lost.
jus hope *S* will help me through . i really need help. B.Y.S~!

- school reopen -

well yday was the first day of sch . but i din go los . bleahs.~ cos too tired.
worked till late the day before los.
thn its like . i wanna sleep more cos dun hav the chance to sleep till so late anymore liaos. hahas.
hmmm... well luckil we've got another day off today. dunno what the reason also .. jus glad that i can sleep more again.. hahas.
tell u pple , i am getting plumber liaos. omg. keep eating at the wrong time. example? SUPPER!
omg. i keep eating mac since i work in toyrus. cos nth to eat liaos.. food court de food like. so ex and so little and its like nothing special to eat also.. hahs. so decided to hav student meal los. the pple there see me everyday also sian liaos. but no choice lurhs.. what to do.? i wan to support u all ma. if not u all close down le thn i eat what? hahas. broken english . soot! anyways was kinda sad wen i heard that my result was worst thn pple whu din really study for the test. hais.. what am i to do.? why suddenly i become so lousy? isit bcos of u or isit i din really put my heart in it? . i cant fail.. i cant break the promise that i said to my parents. and the hope of becoming a better person. i really mus work hard now. but hais.. i dun wan body massage liaos.. i wan make-up. its like miss soh say i cnnt make it if i choose that de. and i am like scared i would injured myself . cos mummy say bm will make u weak cos u need alot of strength to it. how?
i am getting so fustrated with so many thgs around me and i am the one whu think too much. i hate this feeling.

- the work issue -

these few days i look into the mirror. and realised..
I BECOMING PLUMBER LIAOS.!
and yes, getting older in looks liaos. many pimples popping out. hais..
SIANS!
omg. think is all those powerful chocolates and supper ba. hahas.
die ler lurhs.. i wanna go diet ..
yar . workin is tough. but fun is the most important thg los. (:
anyways today jiu shi 2 week working there liaos.. hmmm i mean counting the days where i din work also lurhs. hahs. hmmm the pple there treating me better liaos. so dun hab to worry. i am fine. and when can i get my pay?.
now m parents am meeting a critical prob liaos. so i really hav to help. althought cant help much , but i will try and do somethg good to help them so they wont get so stressed up. especially my dad.
and my bro? . hahs. idoit de lurhs.. i dun wish to say further.. go find out urself.
jus telling everyone that , sowie if i cant go out with u or somethg cos i really hav lots of prob to solve. and i cant stand aside and let my parents suffer isnt it? hope u all understand.
though i am still smiling like how i am before , look inside me , ask my questions , care for me . tahts all. u dun hav to buy a rose to make me happy , jus a few words of care is enff.

one of my sweetie pie . can see a smiley ?

first day of work..

2007-10-03T01:54:00.000-07:00

o31o07
1656pm

well. finally i found a job.. and yes. yday was the first day of work.
well its fun lurhs.. jus that the seniors like.. hmmm.. kinda not happy with the newbies.
even the newbies like hmmm... nvmm..
think i think too much ler lurhs.. hahas.
but sometimes i think , my face like .. hais.. CMI!
jus that thats *123* is like hmmm attitude me los..
jus found that seniors are fierce lurhs...!!!
well . there's so much to learn los.. i am cashier .. same as jiejie and mum. hahas. but lunch not provided.
so had a lonely lunch yday los.. but well nvm lurhs at least angeline working there. so i went to find her los..
aika was the most friendly de. she guide us thoughout los.. cos we still like blur sotong los..
and one supervisor ar.. aiyo damn fierce lurhs..
but nvm lurhs.. time will * bleahs * - speechless
hais.. and yes.. i wont msg u anymore . even if i see u online . i wont tok 2 u.. rest assure.
i am damn pissed being called a freak already..
hope one day i will hav the same shift with jiejie and mum tgh.. there will be so much fun isnt it? haha.
well.. thinking what i will be wearing tml .. hmmm..
morning shift ok! sians!
anywyas.. dun ever wanna do night shift again ! mop , sweep ... whateva! lols!
kks.. wish me luck.
whu can wake me up?!?
at 5am?
hahas.
lame~

fun?

2007-09-29T06:01:00.000-07:00

29o9o7
21o2pm

these few days , din stay at home.. hmmm is actually the most most enjoyable days out ..
hmmm. in the end , i decided to go that chalet. althought i dun feel like going at all..
sometimes thinking back . why some pple jus hate me so much when i din even tok 2 them at all.
P* and gang los.. think is their member ba.
ahhas. well. i know my attitude sucks , but check urs too (:
i would be nice if u are nice. i am an angel if give me that wings.
lols. nonsense lurhs!
early in the morning , got a call from miss soh , she told me somethings ba [ confidencial ]
thn while in train , i got a call from miss eng , telling me i was choosen to go back to sch to learn a new machine . i was excited of cos ((: thanks all teachers !!
well.. went out with jiejie and sharon oh ya and her frend , terence. that super duper quiet guy.
hmmm first day , 27o9o7 a thursday . went to vivo. actually wanted to appl for a job in giodano.
but in the end , asked us to their main office for an interview. but nvm.
mail point is , i met jiejie 2pm at white sand shopping center. i came early and well waited for some time.
hmmm.. actually sharon was wanting to join , but she sleepy , so din come lers . we went to zone x asking for a job . the auntie at the counter was very kind . i like her. so polite. but she only wan 1 person . lols.. hmmm ok lurhs.. think we will let this place to sharon as me and jiejie has got the job in vivo's toy r us. ((:
we were luckly enff (: anywyas.. we were in white sand waiting time to fly fast , as we meeting sharon at 4pm later on. so we bought bubble tea and sat some where near the mrt and chat time really flies. we were toking abt the past . jiejie's past was unlike me . all very sian de. lols. always a punching bag .
well. nvm lurhs. at least i am living better now (:
we reached vivo around 415pm. so i gave sharon a call. saying her frend was doing his hair. se tot he was only going there for a hair cut , but whu knows he went to dye it. so we hav to wait for them again. while waiting , we went to find sotong*A . tok tok tok los.
lols. then , she went to transfer my pay to me. $132 (: think now left with 100 liaos. lols!
well. hmmm..after that , we called sharon once again . still haben done , will be reaching around 7 . we were like OMG! hungry... as we promised to hav dinner tgh , we ren! went to a place , sat down and tok . letting time goes faster.. now i know , wen jiejie is hungry , she will tok alot . lols!
finally sharon reached , she keep apologising .. thn we were like its ok ok ok ok! but her frend were like very shy los. lols tok 2 him like keep erm erm erm.. lols?! no need shy what . we aint monster. wont eat u up de..
anyways , we had long john. lols i dun really like eating LJ. lols well but nvm . at least better thn nth (:
we went to arcade after that . went to watch terence play initial D 4 . lols. he quite li hai . anyways, after which , i treat each of them , play hmmm racing game. dunno what's that game also los.. ahha. i got 2nd! omg! actually constantly 1st de. dunno how come nearing to the finish line , that terence went and bang me . thn he got the 1st . agrh ): he tricked sharon also lols. funny sia them !
ok .. this is the best part . jiejie went to play time crisis again! lols. her aiming wasnt good so we asked her to stand nearer to the screen and jus put the gun there and point to the ememy. so much laughers ok! lols! i laugh till peng! lols.
hais. sad part now, we went outside and slack ! so sians los. we din want to go home de. lols. but still we hav to. anyways , we somehow saw fireworks @ sentosa.

- byebye day 1 -

@--/:--

-harlos day 2 -

okok. meeting time changed and i wasnt informed. actually tot was 12 . but jiejie overslept so she called sharon for the time changed . but i wasnt updated . so i hav to slack at cityhall mrt there de seat . ok here comes the bad part .. while wating for the time to past . here comes a ' weird malay guy , in his 30s ' . the train came and of cos pple alight and set off.. so this guy who was the alighted guy , waited for the train to set off and , knowing there wasnt any crowd anymore , came towards my direction . and sat beside me. thn i knew somethg was wrong. cos , of all the seats there , empty onces .. he jus chose to sit beside me. thn i was like quite scared . as he sat quite close to me. i was listening to my mp3 thn i saw his face faced at me and mouth was moving . so i took out my ear piece and he started

HE" ' girl , where u going ? '
ME" ' why u ask?
HE" ' jus ask '
ME" ' dunno '
HE" ' where you going? say say! '
ME" ' waiting for frend lurhs '
HE" ' thn go where ? '
i din answer .
HE" ' you now studying or working? '
ME" ' dunno '
thn shift my butt away from him a little . he moved as well.
i buay tahan . so i changed place. and he say it . he walked away.
i can tell you.. i was very very very scared by then . i even smsed sharon , asking for help lols!
my heart was pumping like hell !

ok so i went to meet them in bugis..
i was the last to reach. -.-" hahs. actually earliest .in the end..
so we decided to walk our way , sharon and her frend went to library me and jiejie went to bai shen. ok .. think after eating the sweet , i became luckier ler (: thats when i got the job ma. (:
we met sharon once again and set off to suntec.
there , jiejie went to return the card and everything to her previous de work place.
ok. done?. we went to hab our lunch (: lols.
pasta mania. it was my most horrible lunch of all. ' HAM AND SAUSSAGE BAKED RICE ITALIAN MANGO SODA ' and not forgetting jiejie's TOe-MA-TOe (:
i dun like it cos there's lot of cheese in it. and i dun like it ok!
hahas! okok. we set off to the arcade ! (: max tune time!
at first i tot it was easy los. but whu know , i cant even control the car proberly los! damn sadded with myself lurhs.. dui sharon's car de lian! agrh! even jiejie drove steadier thn me los. hahhahs.
well nvm. after that we compete in bball . i won with the score of 110 or lesser? i cant remember. lols. ok . we were so late for the interview. at first rosanne called me ad told me she got the job , i was like, hais.. no hope ler. but whu knows? we got it too ! our interview time was 1530p but we reached there 1610pm lols. so crazy . first impression gone! lols. but well the manager wasnt that angry . but he look sian sian de. lols.. ok i am starting work on tue! (: and hav to go back to sch in the morning for the lesson (: will be a tiring day ba (: so qi dai los! look forward! hehes.
ok.thn we met up with sharon again. she said she hav to go off ler. how sad rite? she hav to go for some japanese concert. and terence was going off too. so i offered him to join us and walk around since we still will be meeting in the nite. so no need so ma fan ma. hahas.. ok we walked around vivo like siao los. so bored de. wanting to meet sotong again but she din work in that shop today , another outlet. sadded! thn we kept asking terence to tok . he was like so shy lurhs. -.- after an hour or so walkin in vivo, getting boreder and boreder , we went to find meimei in ' THE CENTRAL '. she's working there now.
its been quite a long time since i last saw her. she got a new hair-do and her shape ar.. hmmm.. becoming plumber liaos los. lols. but ok lurhs.. her hair was nice (: the style jus like eelin. she was so excited seein me los. lols. she was like ' JINWEN!!!!!!! ' then jumped towards me . lols.
there , she talked to me abt her life nowadays. she's getting busier and somewhat i pity her. cos of her bf.. jus think that sometimes i hav to tok some sense into him. meimei's thinking might sometime childish and unreasonable , but she aint stupid. jus think taht after so many rain and shine , she become a little matured and starts think of others , care and love them lers. i a quite happy for her (: stay stay strong meimei. and u know what? i promised her i will go for the chalet . -.-'' sians! well. we pei her at her shop. she told me abt her life again. sometimes i really wanan he;p her , but hais.. i cant do anythg !! i hav no rites at all. and i dun wan her getting into a war again wif her guy.
we went for dinner after that , meimei da bao her food while me and jiejie stayed there and eat.
we ate nia. terence said he wanna save for later . so we jus eat los. ok , we were eating , thn he was sleeping . we finished within half an hour . thn the pple there came and cleared our dishes. and this woked him up . he was kan jiong as the person was wiping the table and he tot his drink was getting in the way , so he wanted to put the drink away , but who knows , he mis-kill, spilled his drink and kena jiejie. he was like ' omg ' i know his feelin then. lols. he quite ps after that lurhs.. we dun blame u (: anyways. we went to meet meimei again.. pei her till she end work. thn sharon came and meet us as ' durain ' rainning.
but suddenly jiejie hav the urge in wanting to sit by the river. lols.so we went down los..
there's stairs for us to sit and enjoy the view.. hmm u know what? i almost fall ok! slippers aint ur best bud! lols. hmmm we waited for meimie till she finish work ..
she came and meet us with her bf.. dun really like her bf cos like dao los.. hais.. after which , we decided to go to ' the merlion ' the view there very nice. and it made me think alot . of HIM! hais, why cant i forget him.? thn sharon keep tokin to me . thanks alot! hais.. i promise i will forget him fast.. and i will (: thanks for everyone's support.. and meimei ! mus take kares ok! anythg i will update again..
should end now (:

dont!

2007-09-25T08:48:00.000-07:00

25o9o7
2350pm

well, all i hav to say is , dont ask me to be someone i am not!
you see . met zx and sharon today..
zx keep saying me fat and all those stupid comments..
its like. why does he say so?
cos he compares me with someone else..
and why? cos in his eyes. the perfection in his eyes is HER!
and its like to him , every girl mus be like her. no matter toking about attitute , style and what ever!
well.. tell u wat. i love who i am and who i hav been.
dun ever ask me to change to someone whu ISNT ME!
i hav my style , attitude and the way i tok.
if u hav got a comment , at least look at urself and say somethg out of ur mouth..
not only to him , but to the everyone whu said me ..
ok i accept the comments u gave. but it like, why cant i be me?
ya , m attitude stinks , i specks loud , i look and act like a lian. and so?
ya , his , her , parents dun like me , so? can i change their thinking?
yes!!! i hav to change myself to someone whu aint me..
do u like it wen u hav to ask like someone u aint , in front of them?
u like the feeling of pple whu say u are this this this and ask u to change here here here and be like her her her?
well.. let me tell u something , ACCEPT ME FOR WHU I AM , IF U CANT EVEN ACCEPT FOR WHU I HAV BEEN , THN SO BE IT . i thank you for the every effort and gifts that u gave.
and sowie i din give u one on ur bday..
u see , sometimes , its diff to be me ,
today , R suddenly came and tok 2 be saying that she was stress tat i was jealous of her..
yes i am , but not NOW!
its that . she said that i was all along jealous that she was prettier thn me . but its how i felt for some moment.. its like , i dunno what to say out of a sudden. now i think that its the luck that she's got that make pple attract to her..
i dun care abt how pple are gonna think of me ..
and db now say i neglect her..
yes i do admit that i neglected her . i am sowie!
its not i dun wanna contact u , its that i dunno how to start toking to u .. its like we aint that close as b4 ler.. there''s somewhat a gap in between. and i dunno where to start.
and nowadays i am so fed up with so many things around me , i am so stressed up already.. how am i suppose to tent to these other probs?
ok pple , jus tell me what u aint happy wif me .. jus tell me . be frank!
i wont be angry , i would be happier..
what ever it is. dun order me around . and dun ever LOOK DOWN ON ME!
hate those pple whu does that . and u know whu u are..
so get the fcuk out and say it to me straight.. !

sms

2007-09-24T03:10:00.000-07:00

24o9o7
1816pm

this morning , woke up wif cramps
agrh.. painess!
anywyas. was kinda happy that he sent me sms again.
but i think that wasnt him.
cos he said ' taken lunch ? '
thni was like ' you sent wrong ar? taken thanks '
he said ' no lurhs. its for you i din send wrong '
thn i say ' oh ok thanks '
next reply shocked me
' sorry i make you suffer . i hurt my ankle going for x ray '
he injured his ankle. he fell off his bed. i am kinda worried for him. should i tell him?
i said to let go . and i hate him so.
i told myself to let go and i did.
now he's back and changed my thinking..
what should i do?
i am so confused now.
but .. he din reply me again lers.
hope this is a dream.
and jus feel that wasnt him.
i am gonna send him a msg to him again.
if he does reply means it isnt him.
if he dont means its him..
hais..
why am i feeling this way again?
shitt-to!

and yes. he replied..

fun day

2007-09-22T10:31:00.000-07:00

23o9o7
134am

today a fun fun day (:
went out with ivan , lisa , bro and mum.
well.. actually was wanting to let bro and mum tok de..
but ended up becoming their ' zhong jian ren '
hahhas.. so funny.. messenger los..
well. hais.. ok lurhs.. went to play pool. mum keep winning lurhs..
thn she say we rang her..
what the los.. lols! video update next time ok. lols.. too lazy
well. hmmm.. dunno lurhs.. sometime really jealous . cos she prettier thn me los..
wen we walk in the shopping center , she is the attention.
well hahas.. i too childish ler lurhs..
knsknskns.
well. sometimes i really think recently i having bad luck los..
no job , toyrus nv call me. thn no job los..
hais..
thn wen go out or what.. hais..
its all myfault to make mummy close the minimart los..
thn she wont feel so stressed up now..
and daddy too..
its my fault los.. i feel so guilty.. i hope i was never born to this world..
sometimes i think i am jus extra to this world..
why cant god jus give me a chance to work again?
i promise i will treasure it de.. and i reallyyy hope i can avhieve from this course.. beauty i mean.
hais.. my result is like getting from bad to worst.. and its like. i still slacking around.. this made me really very disappointed with myself. why cant i jus buck up more and get better result?
i tried so hard , yet what i got was this shit..
how useless i am..
hais..
i really hope i can be a better person from now on .. i dun wanna be a loser..
i know , once fall , stand back straight again..
i tried.. yes i did.. and i was back to square one..
god , please. i reall need this job.. i really do.
there's so much thing for me to clear.
hais..
how i wish , i jus hav 1 wish. and its enff..
i am very sad , disappointed and depressed..
the feeling is so weird..
hais..
my face , my teeth , my chin , my .....
FCUK ... i jus hate myself!
agrh

toyrus

2007-09-20T22:32:00.000-07:00

21o9o7
1333pm

yday was havving so much fun..
its the first time i felt so relieved..
lols.. dunno why wen i look at guys , they look so similar to jon..
hahas..
well...
went to vivo to interview for toy r us .
hope they call soon! i really need a job ! like very urgent los..
i very worried they wont call..
i really need to support myself.. so that my father wont get so stress up. so as m my mum.
wen i see they getting so angry and stress with all these prob , i am very stress as well..
althought i dun show. but i really am sad..
i tried jobs. but it like. a fasle hope.
i am kinda depressed los..
hais..
now my hus there so noisy...
renovating this stupid block..
so noisy.. wan sleep also diff.. so come blog los..
maple play till sian liaos..
thn now like damn sian also..
rosanne mum go work lers..
thn no one tok 2 me lers.
hahas.. she sent me poto we took yday..
was the very very first time we took poto los.!
yday went with jiejie and sharon also..
so fun los..
went to toyrus play..
dun dare to fool around.. later they dun employ us how?
lols!
so jus took poto with toys los.. sadded!
one day i will buy all those home i tell u .. lols!
hmmm jus cooked tang yuan.. and ate mummy cooked de fried rice.. damn nice ok!
althought ' or lu lu ' de.
yday went we were out , me and sharon ate lemon chicken rice. its $3.50
not bad.. but kinda sour los.
hahhas!
well. we went to arcade after that..
played pool..
hahs.. me played with jiejie. she won lurhs..
lols.. hmmm.. hahhas
i very lat hor?
hahsa.. welll...
for dinner , we went to have mac , AGAIN!
omg continuously 3 days mac mac mac!
ki siaos los!
well some videos of us in toyrus.
lols! damn funny de..
look at jiejie's .. thn sharon de is like relax los..
wen compare. u will know why i said funny!
hahas!
well.
today i look at my palm. thn i ask my mum , cos i realose my plam there's a line its called relationship line.
mine isnt straight , its broken.
so i asked how to mend it back , she asked to change my attitude , thinking and temper. and it will be ok..
it difficult for u u should know! cos , its a 100% negative thing for me los..
so diffivult jiu shi ler..
anyways.. enjoy those pic and videos (:
soooo looonggg~

lonelynessROSANNE

niteviewviaVIVO
my orlulu FIREDRICE
mum and me very first poto
me and mum in toilet

candid shot.
marry me will u?
guess where?
zrooommmmm~
lonely de sharon

LMAO
jiejie and me

lemonchickenrice

fuyooooooo!!

2007-09-19T05:04:00.000-07:00

19o9o7

20o5pm

hmmm.. today hav 2 activities.

one , my bl meeting. abt going to the children's home.

i donated 5 dollars also los (:

happy~

anywyas.. met mummy at inter and went sch tgh..

on the way , we saw nick and frends...

hmmm anyways.. was saying abt my bro all along the journey..

its like.. i saw those msg and the silly thgs my bro said , i was like .. ' peng '
lols! but i really was shocked wen i saw him msg her this los..
thn wen i msg him aasking him dun so stupid, he said, aiyar. i say for fun de..

thn i was like.. dun bluff lurhs.. shy say shy lurhs.. kns!

why guys all like tt de ar?

all no guts like tt de.. why ar?

jus like that heartless farker..

say till he like fierce.. but in the end dunno like shit lurhs..

hahahsa! dun care lers..

anywyas.. went to the art museum also..

found out that actually there's alot of stories also de los..

all very interesting de los..

feel like going there again..

ahahas!

well A* still shouting at me los..

hahahs.. well but i dun care lurhs..

hope can IA soon!

ate mac again!

and now i am coughing like siao!

hahahs.. i ate korean set also.. so nice los..

but nice lurhs.. now coughing like siao also very 'nice' los..

well. the art museum ar...hahas..

is at the the place where we first wen. rmbing that u said u will bring to to places i nv been to b4.

hahas..

lies and more lies..

luckily i din put it to heart.

hahahhas!

welll. soooo looonggg pple!

yesyes! wish me luck tml!

going interview tml (: jia yous!

hope they accept me!

god bless mee!!!!

jiejieandme. koreanset. duriandurianwoaini.

thefourkisiaos-ians

me and angelinewithtatTHINGY. TOILET (: whatmorecanisay?

yes..hollowwomen(:

whatever?

2007-09-16T07:58:00.000-07:00

16o9o7
2259pm

well, read my previous de post , and u know i am down with luck lately ba.
i dunno why lurhs.. think is the pple i be with or lost a frend so my luck is like that..
hahas. dunno what i tokin abt lurhs..
today is the second and the last day in expo lers.
today better lurhs. time flies today .and kinda fun thn yday.
hmmm although its very tiring. my foot is like swollen?
hahahs.. feeling of swollen lurhs..
ahhas..
anyways..
i decided not to go chalet lers.. i wanna work los..
hope god give me luck wen i go for interview. cos i really need this job
sometimes i think , why is my luck so low, bcos of my bad mouth los.. smelly mouth.
well i am sick ler..
cough like siao.! hahas. well hope i die soon?
hahas..
hmmm the reason why i dun wanna go is , i find no point at all los.. its like , i am not a true frend pple! and i wont be.. dun treat me as frend. treat me like hi-bye stranger .its better this way.
hmmm. well today worked awhile with PAN-WEI-BO look-alike..
ahahas.. he damn funny los.. his chinese is like .. american-slang.. thn its like damn funny lurhs..
hais.. today worked alone for quite long .thn i was like so tiring los.. cos tht collin and the other guy go walk around giving the flyers. haiyo tell u , can die ar! so many pple ..
hahas. best part i like the most is ,
wen till the end, i asked 2 kids to help me take the flyers. i said : ' heys. help me take leis. '
they say , ' dun wan '
thn i say again ' help me lurhs .. take and throw also can. '
thn say ' dun wan du nwan ok lurhs ok lurhs.. '
they thought i was pityful. but in the end i gave them whole stack of flyers go throw sia..
ahahhas..damn funny . thank the kids! i looovvve uuuu
hahas..
kena scolded by my boss los..
dunno where u came from. say must ask the customers what they wan and if they are interested los.. thn iwas like .. i dunno los..
but i tired to be frendly-ier
and ask till i thirst like shit los! hahas
these two days earn 100+ lers. happy!!!

a good news.
a new relationship is gonna start soon (:
i love you! (:

take kare pple (:

took in toilet. im worth $1.o0 stupid -.-

not wating any longer

2007-09-15T08:05:00.000-07:00

15o9o7
23o5pm

well. today was the first day i worked in expo.
and you know , i almost lost a precious frend, angeline
i was kinda angry that wen ever i ask angeline a question , her reply was jus like jonathan.. meaning a fed up reply..
not only today . but also recent days.. so i vented my anger on mum..
and i din know i sent a message full of fark to angeline on accidential.
thn she was like quite angry with me.
but luckly that she wasnt angry with me anymore.
but she still act kinda weird towards me .. cos the trust is not there any more ler.. not as strong as b4 ler..
i know i've done wrong .. so sowie angeline..
i wont do that again lers..

well. there's another issue..
thats jonanthan..
well.. ok. today i mean jus only , i messaged him ' yo!! sail back ler hor? tired ma? still intend not to talk to me ar? '
no response.
few mins later
' hahas. no reaply means it all ba. dunno why you still ignoring me. treat me as frend also a no ma?happy one month ba. tc '
no response again..
and i think , i really dun hav to wait anymore ler..
its like.. hais..
i dunno either.. jus feel that its non od my business anymore ler..
i am not a frend to him either..
what's worng ? i dun understand...
if i really am so irratating.. jus say can? dun hide.
why must u treat me this way? am i really that ...
hais..
suan ler..
wait for u also a waste of time..
might as well go accept him..
fark all those message i sent u .
mushy till wanna die..
oh ya.. hate me for all u wan ba.. i dun care ler..
since u wanna do it this way, so be it ba..
i dun wanna care anymore lers.
and dun ever wish to see u again.
or hear from you.
u know what? u are a shit to my eyes..
ur attitude really makes me annoyed..
no matter whta it is.. i am not ur frend anymore ler.. and i know.
so , i dun care ler..
i know there's a girl in ur heart alrdy thats y u are treating me this way..
so nvm ba.. its ok.. since u wanna made things this way . suan ler..
anyways pple , changing my number soon. so update u again yar!
i wanna change, i demand a change!!

2 mins ago i sent this via frendster :

'jonathan,
really dunno what's wrong and what went wrong. and i dun wish to know either . cos i know its too late.. i kow wen i asked for the break up u were very angry with me. but the anger lasted so long? and i know that . i dun really worth taht place in ur heart and so so u care for me anymore lers.. ou dun even leave a msg for me . and u hardly call. if u really cared and cherish me , u wont act this way.. and now taht we are apart . thn so be it ba.. i cant do anthg rite now. cos i know ,there's no point to it. why do u hav to treat me this way? and saying u are busy all the time?. i know u are busy. but sometimes, do busy make u till it takes an hour to type and send me a message? someone whu really cared for his/her partner, dun act this way . but i think ,i came in the wrong time , so this happens.. and i know , we are not meant to be.and i said again and again that i will wait for you . but do u know , ur cold towards me , makes me really dunno should wait or not. and now i hav decided that i will wait. bt once again, u made things this way , i dunno what to say anymore. jus tell me a reason will you? why do u hav to be this way? if there's already someone in ur heart. can u jus say? or what ever the reason may b? why dun u be frank to me? why do u always hav to hide and making me feel tht i still got some hope wen u already seeing someone else?. i know i cant prefered to ur ex. and i know i am a nobody to you. all those words saying that u loved me. is that true? . do u ever loved me b4? well.. i dun care ler..for now on, please , if u hav got a girl , dun treat her like how u treated me , and i know u wont. cos i know u will cherish her.. like how i cherished u. but too bad, its a one sided love. dunno wen u will see this message . and i know after u read , i may not be able to contact u anymore.and mayb u read halfway jiu delete ler. nvm ba. at least i said what i wanna say. and yup , today is suppose to be our 1st month. but whu cares now? treat angline good. and dun ask her abt me . and i think u wont either. since u wan it this way . ok nvm. i wont waste my money and urs too , to msg each other again. still rmb u said u will bring me to all those i haben been to de places. and i think , it wont be able to come true lers.. all the best to u ba. i am done with what i hav to say. hope we wont see each other again. good luck in ur next relationship. through it all, all i hav to say is . i truely loves you . jus that u dun , so the chemical din work. so well , ha! i will be happy and wish you happy too. all the best yar. dun sms me anymore ler. i dun wanna see it . and i know uwont wan to do so either. all the sms are full of care . but seems that my care wasnt being felt , blame me for being a fool ba. and thanks for playing with my heart.and thanks for accepting my love wen u din even reall love me , and made me feel blessed wen i am really not.i thank god for me meeting you . may he bless you stranger . GOOD BYE FOREVER (:
from jinwen to you '

yup . i really need someone to brain wash my brain now.. whu can help?
hahahs.
take kare stranger jon. make it as though i NEVER knew u.
thank god for me meeting hhim and taught me a lesson.
love god..
blesses.

time's running

2007-09-14T05:50:00.000-07:00

14o9o7
2o51pm

well . today went to sch. but kinda angry lurhs..
i reached sch the first . this nvm.. wen i called tina asking her where she was, she said bus stop reaching in 2o mins. ok thn i was like thinking ok i am safe . later go sch no need wait so long till i eat m breakfast!
but its like totally opposite ok!
i waited for her for like 40 mins?
omg.! thn shuting and sharon reached.
so sian los. i was like starving like shit ok!
but well nvm..
well today angry also that jiejie los..
she was at her bf's hus the previous nite. but i dunno why she suddenly say she sick..
dunno lurhs. and angeline also.. said was wanting to come sch today and thurs de. but ended up both day also din come..
i even morning call her this morning..
but somehow , if u din come or what please at least inform me ma..
its like. i was expecting you to turn up , but in the end , i kept callin and callin , and what i got was wait and wait , thn in the end , lost promise los..
jus like penguin like that.
left with 1month16days.
after which , if nothin really happen to us.. thn byebye to you.
its like , somehow , please think of how people really feel.
are u really that worth to wait?
i realised after miss soh talk abt some ' sense ' to me , some pple are worth the wait and some are jus plenty , wasting ur bloody time. i tell you, i hav got a limit.
dun try my patience.
if i really get fed up with you . really , try me . i wont find anyone to settle , i will
i may look like a coward and sound like one . but wen i get really serious and angry , mark my words , TRY ME!
i really tried my very best to give in all i wan. and show as much as possible..
but seems like its a wasted thing, i would rather use it on someone else.
you know , it really hurts wen u are back yet not even a message from you..
u aint caring at all. i dun feel like anyone to you . not even stranger..
yar. its worst thn a stranger.. it hurts so much..
annabel said thigs rite , i treat frends good , but in the end , what i got was NOTHING. simply NOTHING AT ALL!
and you know what , it makes me happy. cos now i know whu are my true frends..and who aint.
well. jus feel that me and angeline's relation wasnt that good anymore.
think is bcos of my relationship thingy and also . sometimes i jus annoy her..
well.. nvm lurhs.. let all be what it is..
annabel also said. cos i told her js ans xl said i pang seh them
and she said that ' one person said that , might not be true . but thinking that both pple complains abt it , meaning that somethg is wrong '
and i thought about it the previous nite.
and really , i found myself , back to square 1.
i thought i hav been a good frend . but i found out that , all this is faked out.
frends might be laughin and joking with you wen bring with u . but u will nv know what they will say behind ur back
and i sometimes felt that , someone is stabbing me behind. and i feel hurt.
but this hurt made me realised that i wasnt myself at all.
i wanna give up soon.
please dun let me fall..
stop giving me that ' stress '
or isit i am creating these invincible stress myself?
ya i think so.. i am paranoid !
shit!
i am becoming so and so stupid!
you know what . my exam for fty , i got very very low points . i got b but teacher said it was somewhat a c .. meaning that i did badly thn in class test!
she also said it was my daily report that made me to a 50% in total.. hais.
how sad lurhs...
now my father , shout and shout.. damn fed up. knns
i dunno what , i am getting more and more stress up with myself and also very upset with everythg i do and see.
why am i feeling this way?
fark those guys whu really made me feel this way . and why , why did i get so low marks in sch?
i am so disappointed..
i thought i've done better.. but its like so opposite..
i dunno why , i am really falling soon.
i cant be happy , even if i am , do u think i really am happy inside?
tml gonna wake early again.. sometimes i've been thinking , why do i feel so lonely?
i feel so stress up suddenly. and it really makes me wanna slap someone somehow..
hais.. i really wanna kill myself this moment..
i am very tired of living somehow lurhs.. very tired..
especiallY WITH YOU!
fark all those shit u said.. no matter what i say now , u will never know.. cos u NEVER CARE!
why do i act as though i really need u ar?
i am so stubborn los..
i know i am tooooooooo ugly to be with you.
ya , u handsome .. go find someone better.. gogogog!
if u really wan it this way , jus let me know lurhs..
why keep everythg to urself and i keep think and think and think what ur ans will be.
even if u see this post , i dun think u will care for me , or even hav the urge to call me..
and think ar.. read half jiu off and gets angry in the end.
so be it ba.. angry jiu angry ba..
i am really very very very tired..
after 1 mth and 16 days , thats it..
u know what , i know u hav attitude , SO DO I?
u dun even think abt me , or even care.. all ur words are a lie to me somehow..
why do u hav to say all those mushy words wen u dun mean it this way.
please. i dun like mushy stuff.
i feel very...
i really feel like bashing someone right now..
i know angeline kinda feel annoyed by me and so our frendship becomes negative lers.
mayb i am thinking too much.. but i really feel this way!!
i am super sensitive leis..
what happend to me? why am i like that , why i feel so angry now!
hais! fark all those shit lurhs..
knns.... hais.. FUCK!!!!!!
fuck all those slut too..
whu do u think u are to spread rumours around again and again like noone's business
do u think its fun?
ya .. we hav a chalet on the 9th ..
an i am not going!
if i go , its bcos miss soh wanted me to..
i dun like to see all those bloody face of urs. and i know u dun wanna see mine to, so why care?
do u think u worth my attention?
fark off ok!
its like , what happened on the way , its not ur business.
me and her , the problem lies in me aint ur business. so MYOB we will settle it myself..
and also .... u are THIRD PARTY.
u do this to me . well god will repeat and make u feel this way!
wait and see!

anyways.. today miss soh taught us eyelash perming..
kinda fun.
if anyone wanna hav their eye lash permed and not scared of a newbie helpin u perm , please call this number (: 9**4***8 jinwen-
thanks
and also.. i am in a foul mood now.. so dun disturb me if possible..
sowie mum , i din go bl post camp today , kinda tired and kinda depressed lately.
although i still joke around , laugh all i wan like normal.
but , whu cares abt how i feel?
even the closest ' person ' dun care , why should i care?
i kept looking in the mirror. and asked,
WHO IS THIS GIRL STANDING RITE INFRONT AND STARING AT ME?
the answer?
THE USELESS...
it bleed again..
and lines are coming.. so dun be shocked..
i am too stress..
can someone help?
please , i dunfeel so good. i am crying without tears..
i am a GOOD FOR NOTHING FREAK.
a simply exam yet ......
HAIS!
kill me people.. i dun wanna live......

(:

2007-09-12T07:54:00.000-07:00

12o9o7
2255pm

sowie din post yday. was down with flu and cough and fever of 39.o degree ok!
lols. i am fine now lurhs.. after having my mum's super powerful LIANG TEH!
lols!
hend ar. if not i will hav hav the chance to take EFC exam liaos..
anyways.. today jiejie kinda sad today los..
kept crying los.!
hais.. cos of guys again.
stupid guys! always make girls cry.
anyways.. on my way to sch in the morning in the train.. i sat beside two sleepheads!
tell u pple ar..
dun ever sit beside sleepheads!
u will be sqeezed like hell ok!
lols.. i almost kena los.!
hahas.
worst thing, on my way home taking bus..
wen i was about to board the bus, the guy step my shoes twice!
once i ignored. the second time.. kns cnnt tahan , step my show thn fell off los.. luckly he put back for me , if not i shout for sure!
kns!
anywyas.. read this..

“You can shed tears that she is gone, or you can smile because she has lived.You can close your eyes and pray that she'll come back,or you can open your eyes and see all she's left.Your heart can be empty because you can't see her,or you can be full of the love you shared.You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday, or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.You can remember her only that she is gone,or you can cherish her memory and let it live on.You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back.Or you can do what she'd want:smile, open your eyes, love and go on.”

meaningful rite?
dabian sent me de.
hais. nowadays everyone like so stress up cos of stupid guys!
agrh!!!
so S los!
but well.
to all those turtle hiding in the shell!
mus come out and face the world soon!
guys are nothing de.
we girls mus be strong!
jia yous!

jus another dayy of hope , yet ....

2007-09-10T07:59:00.000-07:00

10o9o7
2259pm

well .. today had our FTY exam.
KNS los!
i know the answer , yet i put wrong..
for example the auto clave thingy , kns! the answer is uv steraliser i put auto clave.
and its the first question somemore los. kns rite?
and also there's a question , asking about the muscle de.. so irrating los.!
hais , i find the paper not so difficult . but why did i score and dis so badly?
so disappointed with myself..
and now sick lers.. cough los.. hmm think is weekend din sleep much cos of exam los..
and now preparing for HFC. actually , dun really like this subj compare to FTY. cos FTY , more interesting..
i hope i pass well.. and i really wanna hav a bringht future. i cant let my parents down as well ..
hais.. stress is also becos of ' you ' ...
hais.. what happaned to me?
why i keep sighing these few days?
and why do i still keep thinking of u?
ya.. u go sailing ler. not even tell me or wht ever los..
and the 1st to know was angeline .and yet last was me
do u ever consider me as ur gf b4?
why do u hav to treat me this way?
i said i will forget u easily , but no! i lied to myself ..
but compare to justin , he's at least better . cos he made me happier .
pple always says . first few months are HONEYMOON. and no!
for me, its a terrible dream. a NIGHTMARE.
hais. please tell me at least the reason why you are treating me this way .. i wanna noe.
its okay if u dun wanan patch . but at least , tell me ,what did i do or say, that made u ignore me this way?
jus tell me the reason and i will be satisfied.
i wil be waiting for ur anwer..
and should i wait for u to return to me?
the answer to this question , is left .. UNKNOWN.
thanks to all the peeps whu really helped me in overcoming this situation.. but i think ..
i am back at square 1 again..
stubborn , foolish me . its always like this..
i am missin you again!

i wanna be happy again..
like how i was before . i miss you trufully. but yet, seems like there's already someone in ur heart. and thats HER''
its my guessing . but ..well. if this is god 's creation , and fade made it this way , i've got nth to say ler..
thnks god .
blesses.-

[ ulter-mate loser like me ]

sad , but what can i do?

2007-09-09T03:10:00.000-07:00

o9o9o7
1836pm

today woke up with some hope,
hoping that he would reply me.
cos he went out till late yday.. dunno with whu..
hope its a girl ba..
hahahas! hmmm.. mayb other girls can give and understand what he wants ba.
sowie penguin , i not understanding enff.
and dun hav to think if u should give me a chance to patch ler.
its ok.
let other girls do this job. its not i gave up on u. jus that , i think a better girl somewhere , can give you a more caring and loving partner.
i didnt do so well as ur partner , as i said , i not understanding enff.
althought its kinda pain to m heart , but it was me who wanted the break off de.
and he was kind aangry with it .. i dunno why..
mayb its that i said i will wait for him, but in the end i said to break..
hhahas. i sound so childish sia.!
cnnt tahan.
but well. he din reply nor msg me the whole day . think , this is the end of me ler.
i mus thank angeline helping me to ask..
but actually i was thinking , he likes her de , but dun dare to tell.
hmm.. cos everytime we tok , angeline name will be heard. and well..
hahas!
saying they are only kor and mei . i got nth to say ler ba.
hahas. frends says , wen one wan to be ur mei or kor or di , what eva. is that they wanna get close to you thn will go on further cases los..
but well.. up to them ba.
angeline is a good , trustable and understanding girl , who wont like her?
hahas.
well its ok.. since god made things the way it will be , i cant force it . i dun hab the rite to do so rite?
let natural take it courses. this was what justin said to be wen we broke off few years back..
ya.. i also think that way too. ' whats' urs , will always be yours, even though if u lose it on ur way, it sure will come back to u. and whats' not urs , will never come back to u nor , even if u force it , it will never be yours. '
i thank god giving me a life to live in this world , knowing different kind of pple , and going through up and downs, giving me emotion / facial expression , to show if i am happy nor sad. i thank god for giving me a healthy me (:
pple , please dun mistaken , i not christian . i am a free thinker? lols!
duno (:
well.. so , if he wanna find some one better , please do .
anyways. on friday, miss soh suddenly came to sit with us after sch , hav lunch tgh.
so she asked if we've got a bf. everyone ok!
so we answered . i thought i can siam from her.. thn she say , jinwen leis?
cos i pretented i was asleep , thn angeline called me , so i hav to wake los.. lols!
thn ask ler , i told her what happened.. thn she also advise me to break with him..
its always easy to say something , but difficult dealing with the consequences.
hais. and yes, i regretted , but what to do? i hav already apologise all i could, but he refused to help me.. and angeline too , thanks darling.. now i've got the answer lers . i should let go ,
even rosanne mum asked me to let go . and also wanted give me free brain wash session.
thanks pple , thanks for helping me , but now , its the matter of the heart. my heart says no! dun!
but what i want , my mind , tells me , jus let go ..
i a very confused now. its like , i am going through a maze. dunno which way is the way out.
its really hurtful.. and head-spinning. but , it a process of life.
i hav to understand that , not everything will lies in the way we want it to be.
and now i understand why...
anyways.. this morning i messaged him..
' morning! you mus take kare wor. tonight sailing liaos , drink more water ok. bring a jacket along , might be cold in the nite . misses '
but well . he din reply.. its ok lurhs..
at least i given all that i could , i care all that i want.. but since he dun feel anythg , thats about it ba.
its been 20 days since we met . another 8 days to our ani. but seem that , its all a lost hope ba..
and the gift? well
it will never be handed to its owner.. think i hav got an idea.. a dramatic de.
throw it into the sea.. it sure will sink. so its ok.. let it sink ba.. since he dun wan it , and i dun wanna keep it either.. the more i see it , the more i get sad and heart craking..
all i can do now is to concentrate on my studies , i wanna hav a bright future!
i dun wanna be a rag , always being used to do dirty stuff. and being control or pushed around..
i wanna hav it m way this time! i mus do it. cos if others can , i am sure i can too.
and i know i can do it!
and yup today morning , went out with family , hav break1st @ my previous house area.
thn went to compass point , go there slack / waste our time ..
thn ivan came to meet bro .
well today mum bought me a case to put my make up thingys , so sweet rite?
hehehs!
anyways. while having breakfast , bro asked if i broke up with him ler.. thn i was like , dunno lurhs.. thn suddenly they tok about justin , saying why din i treasure him bluhbluhbluh~
excuse me pple! like what i said , whats mine will always be mine ma .. rite ?hehehs!
its ok.. he's my past , now i lookin for my mr.present (:
well.. thn in the car , on our way to compass point..
bro said about rosanne mum, sayin how me and mum was related . so i said lurhs..
thn say , aiyar. ' mummy faster go hoome , i wanna tok to my princesssss~ '
so er xin. kns! still say , she gave him her number.. lols!
mum! why u so gong , giv him waste ur $$ nia!
!@#$#%$%^@# ! well nvm
mum! mus xiao xin okok?
hahhas!
hmmm... now that jonathan hav lost hope on me , thn i hav to too.
i cnnt think of him again ler.. and rest assure , i wont contact u anymore, our story ends here.
and , i hope that everthg will go fine for you.. now is the time i should really not think of these stupid stuff lers.. but anywas..
on fri, after i asked for break , he said actually he wanted to find time to ask me out de, but thn since i say break ler , so he no need to do so ler. and he said sleep at home ..
this made me cry again! kns!
and yes, he din even care what.. hahas. yup , he din look me up either.
so i guess, keepin him , dun do me good.
i really need sometime , not long , to forget him ba.
jus that , i am kinda jealous wif angeline.. for some reason..
ahahs! well.. back to work liaos!
studyy studyy studyy~
mus wake at 445 tml! omg!
sure die de!
hehes!
nvm! strvie towards my goal !
pple~
STRIVE WITH ME!

(:

this was how i looked , the whole day!

the gift , which will never be handed to its owner.

towards my goal of life./

2007-09-06T07:36:00.000-07:00

o6sept07
2236pm

hahas.. today was a great day , in school and after school (:
well only 4 pple went for efc. how jia lat rite?
me , angeline , tina and shu ting nia..
miss loke was like , sadded los..
but well the other pple din come nvm, i've learnt the skill of encounting REPORT WRITTING!
whhahahs! i am the world!
lols..
* ahem *
well , typing this with my injured left wrist.. duno what happened .. mus be while i was on my way home in bus, my head keep kena the window handle, kena my nerve and thn my hand suddenly like this lers.. dunno what happen sia.
after getting off bus ,jus like pain there, cant even move much at first.. now better ler..
hope its fine los..

its been 3 days since we last smsed, 16 days since we met and 11 more days till our first month...
keep wondering if we are still considered tgh..
somehow , chances are slim..
hais..
but well.. what to do , busy was the word that kept repeating...
what so ever!
now is the time to concentrate on m studies!
TO MY FUTURE! CHEERS!
4days.. till the exam starts!
jinwen , dun give up!
GAMBATTE!
i mus get high score! i mus prove to all those shit who looked down on me..
anyways.. here come nerd jinwen..
hair tied and bun...
whahahs!
see me in sch u jiu know lers (((:

take kare all!
love u guys!
and not u ok!

freaking off-
jinwen-

the relationship issue.

2007-09-01T03:27:00.000-07:00

sept o1
1837pm

its been 15 days since we are tgh ler.
and it seems that we are not tgh any longer lers.
and yes , i do love him . but it seems that he is too busy for me.
and what my frends said is that , no matter how busy that person might be, if he really loves you , he will always find time to acc u.
but no! he din.
he kept saying he was busy, but what pple might say is.. it's jus an excuse.
i kept asking what i am to him. but till now , what i get was , wait wait and wait..
and now , i no longer need the answer. cos i already get what he means..
he dun love me at all.
yup , he's handsome , he can get someone better..
more understanding , more matured and prettier.
its so easy , jus find a girl , communite well and yes. tgh!
but i am too selfish ler.
i cant keep him to myself, he needs air to breathe. and i am like.. hais.
forget it. i jus think he isnt so serious with me.
i thought i really founf someone whu i will be serious with , but it seems that i dun hav the fate ba.
all i want was ur love , ur care and ur understanding. but it seems both of us dun hav that for one another.
hais.
and its been 11 days since we last met , i really miss u , but i think , u dun miss me at all.
i know i cant be as perfect as ur previous.
and i know that your heart dun even hav me at all.
those times u called me ' dear ' its jus for a calling , and its jus somethg that will make me happier.
and the kiss u gave me, is jus a broken hope u gave me.
the first time u holded my hand and say , u love me , its all a lie.
yup , its jus me myself and i...
only me , lying to myself that i had ur love. where i found that i dun really hav it from the beginning..
and now , although its only been 15 days . but my heart have already gone to u. but i think , ur heart , wasnt with me all along.
well. its a one-sided love all along ..
i try ways and means to tok 2 u . but all i got was a cold shoulder again and again.
till now i freezed lers..
although u dun really feel that my heart has been with u all along , but , its the truth that i really love u ... and i truly care for u as well.
i kept telling myself to hold on one last time, and i ever thought of telling you i wanna end it right here right now. but i din, cos i know , sure there's a day whereby u will hav the time to tok to me and love me back again.
the answer to every of my question was , busy busy and busy.
yup i know u are busy. and i know i cant meet u again.
everytime i asked if u are free anytime , but its a no reply..
how could i ever hav the time or a chance to even see you nor tok 2 u?.
its been so hurtful to my heart. now there's wound..
if i hav a wish , i wish that u would always be there for me , love me , care for me , hold me once last time again..
i am falling , like the falling leave ..
now , i am watching a show , and its a saddest part of all.
this couple , was happily tgh. and at last , they are walking in the streets tgh.. after flying to countries to help the poor , curing them from illness..
then this nite, they were holding hands, happily tgh walking along the streets. then suddenly , a pone call for the guy , so he said. ' one minute ' and girl says ' ok '
while toking , this guy , was walking while on the pone. and suddenly , his key dropped off from his pocket to the road , and so the girl went to pick it up . without notice of the guy , jus as she reached out for the key, she was banged down from behind. she bleed of course . and soon , the soul , went off her. this guy was so shocked upon seeing his gf lying helplessly on the ground , he told the caller to call an ambulance immediately , and ran straight to his girl , holded her , helped her breathe again by doing cpr on her. but yet , she was gone ....
if this situation happened to me , would u do the same?
i was so foolish thinking back why i cut those lines. and now what i've got was scars. its so ugly. and the worst thing is , the hurt got worst as well..
the first few days wen we were tgh .. u sent me sweet messages, even morning messages..
but now , sent 10 message to u , i only got back 2.. and sometimes not even one.
yup , i am irratating. i know it. and i am selfish , not understanding enff.
sometimes, wen i wanna say something , i really dare not say . cos i scare losing u. i really love u alot. but ...
do u feel the same as well? do u love me like i love you?
i smsed u everyday , cos i really care for u.. i wanna know how u hav been .. do u care for me as well?...
think , think again.. although i am irratating, but do u understand why i am so?
ur expectation for ur girl is, gentle ,soft spoken... but do u know ?.. i am rough , i talk loud. ask around , ask angeline. see how i am in school!
i scold vurglities. and upon hearing u dun like girls like this , i changed. i din scold so much since then.. ask around again..
see how i really was.
the feeling u give me now , was so cold then b4. ok , being busy is 1 thing. but ... like i said, no matter how busy u are, at least send a message telling me u are fine..
is sendin a message take u a long time?
if this is so. ok well.. suan le. dun msg me den...
if its really so wasteful of ur time jus by send me a message. then i really got nth to say..
sometimes , i really wish i never know u. cos if thats so, i wont get hurt lers.
hais.
i guess i was jus thinking too much..
some negative stuff..
hais..
could u jus spare me some time . so i can know what answer u will give?
i love u penguin. i hope u feel it....

ITS ENFF!

2007-08-28T08:27:00.000-07:00

290807
2329am

i am getting so much stress lately.
and i find , all these stress are created by me. and i am getting affected by it..
firstly is my relationship.
i kept thinking , why i kept holding on wen its not mine.
ya u can say u dun wanna _____. but do u ever know how i am feeling inside?
i feel so empty. so empty.
and u will nv feel it.
today i asked wen u will be free.
u said tml evening.. so i ask if u wanna meet. and u din even bother to repl back.
well its ok if u dun wanna meet me. this shows how much u ' care ' ba.
since u want it this way. i got nth to do.
it jus hurt me ba.
well i know this is childish. yes! indeed i am childish..
and i know u are busy with ur stuff.
hais.. my expectation are too much lers. sowie it stress u.
i may not be as perfect as ur ex. cos she knows u much longer and better .
as for me. i only know u for 16days. provided that we are only tgh for 12 days..
how am i to compare wif her?.
sometimes really upset wif myself, why i keep thinking negatively?
its not i wan to. but the feeling is too strong , pushing me into this deep hole of , depression..
told eelin abt my prob. and said we din know each other well to b tgh. and i think this rings a bell.
yup. rush is equal to emptyness.
jus hope everything goes smoothly den. hais.
and i think it may b impossible.. with such a mind set i hav, think, he will get more stressed up.
so , preventing from stressing him , as he has got navy stuff to stress on, i decided to hav a so called ' cold period '. i hav to cool down a little. and i hav to think and reconsider if i really wanna carry on.
from the way he expressed, i think , he doesnt wanna to.. hahas! see , i am thinking too much again!

well, lets not tok abt it anymore.
the next ting is. job!
i need a job very urgently.
hais.. my bill, and my parents.
i cant always relie on my parent's money .
but i jus cant find a job. so i asked angeline. and she said to try toy'r'us..
so me and jiejie went to try..
hope we will get it.!
i really in need ! loreal din call for a week ler. so i think i kena rejected lers . hahas!
anways was very angry cos my previous post abt the refelction , is gone.
fark los. i typed so much and my previous time has been washed down the drain. agrh.so angry..
hais.. not my day lurhs..
hais..!

third , EXAM PERIOD
. hais. i am so damn stress up. its only 2 week time to exam. and i am not prepared it yet.
and i am so worried i cant get through.. i mus pass this exam. and i am gonna pass it well. i mus not let others look down on me and neither do i wanna disappoint my parents!
i must pass. i cannt so slack ler..
hais..!
mummy , daddy! i mus jia u. so both of u wont so xin ku ler!

forth,
frendship wise. hais.
wanling thingy, hais.. damn all my big month. now i lost 3 frends again. hahhas.
childish. frend here frend there. siao kin na.
hahhas!
hais..

i tell myself this everyday
i mus be happier thn b4. even though u are not by me . i mus still be happy.
happier thn u are.
but the worst thg is, i cant.
should i give up. or should i stay?
who can answer?

boring and sad saturday // reflections on thurs and fri

2007-08-25T02:55:00.000-07:00

250807

1757pm

hais. was so wanting to meet him today de. but ending up , a cold shoulder again

angeline said he was busy.. hais.. i know u are busy but ..

hais.

suan le lurhs..

get used to it ba.

hahahs!

KAN KAI DIAN JINWEN!

ahahahs.

eh anyways..

yday , we had the post camp for bl de.

it was kinda bored lurhs. but at leaast we've got boss , boss's boss and banana yeye to entertain.

and thanks ROSSANE POPO for the lovel hair clip (: so nice of u!

i love it!

and i bu she de use. cos its jus too LOVELY!!

THANK U POPO!

hehehs.

eh . this stupid alvin , was jokin wif him abt wl . thn he went to sms her say what we said to him los

thn wl smsed me and asked .. but i dun wanna make things big. so i told her it was me who started with all these rumours. hais..

told u lers.

probs are coming.

yday , during facial prac lesson. my darling angeline cried.

bcos of some personal reason...

wen i saw her cry , i fet like crying too.

so i told her , jus tell me anything thats troubling her los.

i hav to say something here ba..

DONT TRUST ANYONE , either teacher , frends, ANYONE! cos the may seem to be kind infront of u. but u will NEVER know what he/ she might say behind u.

and yes , i kena dunno how many times liaos. and so does angeline.

ANGELINE! DUN GIB UP. I SUPPPORT U! (: cheer up ok!

oh ya. it was my frist time kena jeslyn los.. omg!

she keep blinking her eyes even though she had her eyes closed! hahahs. it was kinda difficult to help her cleanse los! hahahs..

thn we did steaming as well.. thn she kept blinking and blinking.. actually is not blinking lurhs is like duo los.. like very scared like that los..

steaming wise. omg! tell u . i wanna kill her lurhs!

she keep complaining the steam was hot , thn i was like, excuse me, steaming is meant to be hot de los.. anyways , i did steaming b4 ok! its not as if it was like boiling water 100 degree los!

omg! thn she also like . ' the steam in my nose!! ' thn i keep adjusting it.. thn jiu ok!

aiyo. i am not gonna do it on her again! agrh!

but den at least she din complain during the eyebrow trimming.. hahahs. but her face was damn red lurhs.. scare me los! hahas! so i kept putting tonner on her lurhs.. hehes

hmm.. yday was a special occ as well.

JIEJIE'S [ siewchoo ] BDAY!

my this shaozhu! whahahs! jking!

hmmm.. yup she's 19!

old liaos los.

i am still as young!

hehes!

ok . so the day b4 her bday, i told tina , leyin , angeline and the other darlings that i am planning a surprise for her . so they said ok los. but ending up tina gone, miss soh not free. hais!

ehs.. so nvm los.. ended up only miss ng was free.

ok the first surprise was that i told le yin that after the practical lesson , i rush to the cafe to get her a small cake . but den we already bought a bigger cake in the morning.it was chao nice de cake ok! hahahs. meimei and leyin chose de. it was really nice of the auntie in the cafe for keeping for us. (: okok back to story. hmm the small cake. * ahem *

but jiejie was kinda sad cos her sis dun wanna join her. thats y los . she went off with xuelin. hais..

dunno how both of them are processing liaos. i mean the sisters.

hais.. but wen we told jiejie that her sis care for her by using fty theory lesson drawing a card for her ,and payingfor the cake. she cried. lols! yday alot of pple cry sia.

but it was all good tears.

no matter what , HAPPY BDAY SIEW CHOO.! (: hope u like the surprise from us!

2007-08-22T04:16:00.000-07:00

22o8o7
1917pm

* phew *
jus bakc home from school!
so damn tired today. hav pe lurhs.
anyways... hav u heard of theory for pe lesson?
lols! wen i heard abt it . i got a shock of m life.
lols not that serious lurhs hahas. jus that quite stupid los.. but at least teacher gave us some tips on the exam paper.
today a very tiring day. listened to miss soh giving us tips on the exam paper as well.
this test will be on next monday 27th. so stress till now i head pain liaos..
hais.. and guess what, i tink a quarrel will soon break out!
wif me and xuelin.
dunno what's wif her lately , keep saying she's sick so nv come school. somemore say i pang seh her..
what the..
well i admit i pang seh her. but not totally.
is not toking to her , a mean of pang seh-ing her?
lols! reall weird de los. nowadays dunno what she is thinking also..mayb its my fault ba.
she keep saying that after i hav been closer to angeline after the camp, i ps her.
its like. she dun even think of what she said in the past which is so hurting to my heart. she has this mentality that she is always rite , and pple will support . bcos she is quiter thn me.. what thats man? hey! please grow up, not everday is friday! and not everyday i feel the same way. jus think about what u said to me that really hurt me. i know i hurt u b4 but i did apolozise to you and tell u thta i was wrong. you said that i dun wanna partner you. remember whta teacher said in the past? saying we cant always stick to a model! this is one my reason. the other reason is that, you said while in theroy that teacher was teaching about the machine and said that if we dun use it well , model might get burnt on their face. and what hurts me was ur ' dun burnt my face ' with ur index finger pointing at me. i dun think u will remember this.. so be it then. and hav u think of this question , why i wanna pang seh u? u are my frend , everyone is. is the way i acted towards u that is diff from the others.. u see, sometimes wen i tried to tell u something, u gave me a cold shoulder. ok this nvm. hav u thought of why i can communite better with angeline and the others but not u? bcos they will joke around, u do joke around but they are more supporting. for example pie lesson. u always dun wanna go ,and wen i encourage u to go , u refused. i tried my very best to ask u to go and yet u said u are tired and bluh bluh bluh.. ok then so be it ba. its not i dislike u or wht. sometimes ur little words nor movements , will make others think the other way, please grow up. its not that i am teaching you a lesson. after sch , u dun even care to msg or what so ever. at least a caring message, u dun even give. for example. angeline or someone who wanna meet up or will be late for school. why others hav the step that msg the other so that we dun hav to worry for them.? did u ever message us that u wont be coming to sch or will be late? no u dun. now, i am not trying to scold u or even ANTI u. its jus that , i wan u to know , dun always think people pang seh u or dun wanna tok 2 u. its jus sometimes ur topic , i really dunno what to say.if u say i dun care about u , i wont be sitting down here typing all these things in my blog liaos. rite? isnt this a point? and rmb , dun always go wif bf. now is the time to concentrate. i know ur make up is good. but do u think , sitting down or lying at home , doing nothing can make the other topics good as well? . no! u are wrong. i know i hav no rite to force u to study. and i know u can study. try and think abt it ba. i will stop here. dun wanna kill more brain cells.

well. yday i cut 16 lines on my....
was kinda pain. some of my classmates saw it. and even scolded me . ahahhs!
well dun worry i am jus as fine as anyone. jus that too stress wif some stuff lately..
these few days cold shoulder from him as well. was kinda sad lurhs.. but hais. i mus be understanding ma. he busy thats y. but hais.. also very miss him ma.. 1 week see him once nia. very sad de lei. miss him like what los. hais..!
anyways. debarment list hav been posted out. and i am not in!!and so are my frends
yay so happy. (:
listening to ' feng ling ' now. and this is how i feel about u now dear.
ahhahas. now only the fourth day. hope we can last wor.
anywyas. today i made jiejie angry . bcos of my big mouth again .lols.
i keep shouting today. lols i sot ler.
hahs.
well. i dunno lurhs.. feel kinda happier after shouting. one of these day i really mus got to the beach. so i can shout all iwan!
anyways. who interested in watchin RUSH HOUR 3 wif me?heheh!
i wanna watch but dear not free los.. so sad lurhs..
hais.
dunno wen i can see him again ):
worst thn staying in jail los.
hmmm..
from now on!
i mus work hard for my future.
i need a job soon!
cos i hav so many things haben clear. and dept as well los... hais..
so fan so fan!!!!!!!

2007-08-08T05:06:00.000-07:00

o8o8o7
2o06pm

today was a funfunfun day los!
wahhahas!
jus came home from toy'r'us
with ben , jiefu ,angeline and jonanthan
woke up so early today los... 455 am ok!
whahas. but the motive getting up early is to....
DO BL DUTY!
haahhas! wo yuan yi los!
hahahas..
i dun remember having a red shirt for today. so i wore my pe attire.
hmmm...
in the end , kena scolded by nanny los..
but not direct shoot me lurhs..
hahas.. was actually punctual for sch de.. but in the end waited for jonathan los..
sians!
so i decided to wait for angeline at the cafe..
but while on the bus to sch, siewchoo got up and sit jus 2 seats before me los..
but she din see me..
idoit,.. she so blur los..
lols! os i smsed her..
but she said she din recieve.. so nvm los..
then went to sch tgh and waited for leyin. but it was alredy 0815 lers. so i told her i hav to leave soon.
and she said ok los.!
but so sowie i forgot to sms u after my bl thingy..
hmmm...
well..
after my duty we went to the stadium..
sang the nation anthem
hahahs.. i sang loud ok!
lols!
hmmm.. then went to cafe slack like what los..
after that we went to the forum. and saw miss soh and miss ng.
we greeted both of them but only miss soh replied..
its like.. dunno what's on and off in miss ng's mind los..
so sad but well.. nvm ba.. since she dun apreciate it. suan le los..
her attitude changed like whta los..
sad , but true.. think she hates our class ba..
i gave miss soh a packet of my sweet los..
hehhes. she was like.. ' woah both of u feed me, i wanna slim down de ok! '
i was like.. ' chubby thn cute ma (: '
hahhaas
after school we went to tm for lunch?
late lunch los..
at the KOPITIAM
all thanks to ben los!
say 5-1o mins..
in the end took half hour.
so gay los..!
i hate waiting for guys ok!
only guys wait for me..
lols!
jkjkjk!
but i really hate waiting..!
hmmm... during that time.. jonathan was like keep emo los.. from the start wen we met him at tm..
he so emo till he made my mood changed los..
was wanting to scold him de..
but think again.. suan ler..
bi jing i hurt him deeply liaos..
but his attitude really made me sick of it los..
fire up mans!
ahahahs..!
thn we went to toy'r'us (:
played like siao los..
ahahas.
below are somepotos taken.. i still trying my best to upload the video los..
hahahs!
today thn i realised , although angeline big big tall tall.. she act like kid tooooo
see toy so happy los..
so long din see her smile and laugh like this lers..
but happy fer her lurhs. (:
hehehs..
as a frend, whu dun wan see their frend being happy leis?
but she has got a sad life.
and i am trying my very best to cheer her up everyday (:
[ face so itchy -.- ]
hmmm.. then.. we were like mad los..
was playing wif kiddos in there.
so kawaii de nor.. (:
hahahs!
then we were having so much fun that the staff in charge came and scold us los..
say what ' this is not a playground. dun sit there '
at least say a please lurhs. UNCLE!
sians los.. the atmosphere changed los..
we went out like .. so sad los..
ahahhas!
but well. it was a fun fun day (:
anyways.. while inside.. we saw nanny and gang los.. who jus finished the movie ' rush hour 3 '
and yes. i gonna catch it while its over (:
they said its funnY
and funny stuff cant miss me ok!
whahahs!
anywyas. i got my gifts from the bedhead liaos..
bocs i did their model and they were so kind to gib me a gift as well..
so happy los (:
take a look kays!
hehehs..

anyways.. if u are wondering what happened between US '''
well. we broke off
so dun ask me ler..
the reason for it?
well.. i dunno
so dun ask ler.. whu ask i kill whu ok!
ahahhas!
well.. wen things hav to go , they gonna go..
wth? -.-
hahahs!
well...hope he can find someone better soon (:
but at least we are still frends (:

2007-08-07T05:02:00.000-07:00

070807
20o2pm

for the 3rd time , i asked for a break up..
i cant feel the feel anymore. tats y i wanna end now. thn dragging and getting more hurt..
hais.. what mus i do?
problems are coming..!
hais.. jus hope he will let go...

2007-08-06T09:49:00.000-07:00

o7o8o7
0051am

hahas..
jus finished the previous post los!
hahas
hmmm had a terrible day today.. but wif a happy ending ba..ehehes
at first i wanted to break off wif him de.
but in the end we din.
and i learnt a lesson after all.
we went to catch a movie..
jay chou de..
SECRET!
its damn nice. and gan dong los..
i cried u know.. lols!
mus go watch ok!
hehehs.. and thansk him fer the movie tickets. that made u no money eat for tml los..

anyways.. few days back, we had this BL de COMMUNITY FES thingy..
hais.. can sad is a bad day for me fer the sencond day ba
well lets talk about first day ok (:
hmm.. well things went well on the first day..
joined in the BLs for the tour thingy.. was really blur wif my team mate at first..
and he's a guy los.!
he is worst thn my current bf los..
so damn quiet de.. thn ask him tok alos soft soft de..
dun dare shout de los..
thn iwas like .. nvm lurhs i SHOUT! U GUIDE
he said ok..
but in the end i did both things..
nb.. but nvm .. pple shy ma..
hmm i took over canbarrea sec. 4T1
they were shocked wen i shouted cos as u know i am small in size ma
they thot small size useless de los.. hahas!
u are wrong..
i may be small in size but i can shout like hell ok!
so dun mess around wif me alriet!
say ok!
lols!
hmmm i took 1 class nia.. thn slack the whole day los..
so fun lurhs.. took pics wif nia ma they all. (:
and my dar was so good los.. helped me with my bag (:
so sweet los.. and thanks for taking care of me..

well second day. the nightmare came!
well i was last min chose for the hair show los..
thn professinals said my hair ws like so dry they dunno how to do los..
still say my hair changellenging los..
ahahs.. the perm hair de thingy cnnt use the blame my hair leis..
so not cool los..
thn they pull my hair like as if it was fake hair los..
woah.. siao mans.. so pain los!
hais.. well nvm.. overall she made a good hairstyle out of me..
the bad thing was that , as the were doing my hair. those bitc* came and saw me .
and one of them laughed at me..
thn i was like diao her.. thn she said ' diao diao diao '
thn the other said something but i dun care. well this is small stuff . the worst comes.....
after the hair show, i went back for duty. and yes, i saw those bitc* again.. this time they became so li pu i feel like kicking them los..
they kept laughing and tok loudly and teasing abt my hair..
well mayb they are jealous they cant join or what so eva los..
thn after they said those stuff i said kns lurhs..
thn they replied back ' ya los.. u are the kns 1 '
i was like wth?
hahas. well.. next thing next.
this bitc* went to tell her kao shan abt me los.
its like a childish act los.. kns los!
so old liaos still hav this kinda thingy.. aint that childish?
look at urself in the mirror los..
u aint any better alrite..
its not i look down on u those bitc* , its jus that, before u even say abt anyone. pls..
look at urself in the mirror.. if u are anybetter thn me. say what i also dun mind. but now the case is that ... well suan lers..
anyways.. i freaked out and cried. i buay tahan.
and thansk dar , angeline and angel fer the confort.. i really need it..
and miss soh as well. thanks for the watermellon cum carrot juice.
it was very nice los (:
and in return , i gave her a jelly - m soh thingy i bought in the sch fair los. (: hope she likes it..
and now the matter is that , i am kind aafraid to go sch.
the pri sch life has return los..
hais..
how ar
i know i need to ignore them. but somehow , u hole is in my heart...
suan le..
count every step i take ba.

anyways,
dar i love u.
know u will be reading this..
sowie abt the afternoon thingy..
i din mean to say that de.. but this is how i felt..
thnaks fer the movie. and the warmth u gave me wen i was so cold inside..

i also wanna love...
and those whu loves me. i love u (:
lols!

happenings

2007-08-02T08:15:00.000-07:00

o2o8o7
2318pm

* ahem *
hehes! so happ during the month of JULY!
firstly is my bday.
secondly is my new guy (:
hehes..
well i will tell u slowly los (:
well this month i hatta go on a leadership camp held by the BRIDGE CLUB in our school.
and i was one of them so i went fer it lurhs! [ common sense -.- ]
anyways. was very fun ya know!
so happ tt i found a new family there and some good frends as well.
i found jiefu , da jie and xiao mei.
and also er jie lurhs
which is angeline.
our friendship has became closer each day (: was glad ya know!
still remember! i tot that le yin was angry bcos of me los..
cos we suddenly become so close ma. thn she was like. not happy los..
thn next day i was like, toked to leyin.
' heys. are u angry tt me and angeline ... '
before i can finish she shaked her head lers.
hahahs!
aiyars. dun misunderstand lurhs.. because its team building camp ma thats why. (:
anyways.. the first day there was very fun los.. our instructor was a cute cute guy, named kenny. he has cute dimples u know (:
hehehs.
luckly we had a fun group los. i love this group bcos all was fun loving!
hehes. although the malays was kinda act ba.
but i also dun care los.
hahahs!
actually me and angeline wasnt in the same group de. but heng ar!
hehehs!
the food there was nice but somehow ,
IT WAS TOO LITTLE!
omg the other group members was kind stingy leis.!
got once i did serving and i gave all of u alot ok!
humph!
hao xin mei hao bao ):
so sad los.. well nvm (:
BL RULES (:
the second day was the campfire nite (:
was kinda fine one (:
hehes. hmmm.. how to say leis.. well in the morning , was kinda tired u know!
cos hav to wake early..
and we slept at 12+ the previous nite los..
hav to wake at 5+ 6 ok!
haiyo and tt isabell lurhs.. keep pesting us to wake los..
although its nice of you lurhs.. but then , she keep asking and asking knowing that we are already awake!
angeline was sleeping beside her. and that nite she was having that* ma..
thn isabel went to hit her stomach. thn angeline was freaked out.
she shouted at her . thn by then , i was waking her up los.. thn she suddenly shout,
i thot she was shouting at me and was shocked leis..
hahahs!
but she explained to me.. thn i was fine (:
i was waking up wanling as well los..
hahas.. she dun wanan wake los.
so sad , called aggain and aggain.. but failed to wke los..
but wen its really time to wake , she realised her eyes was in pain.
thn we saw it was like blue-blacked.
and tht morning is for us to go fer kayaking (:
my fav
but !
that sea was full of DEAD FISH!
but as leaders , we aint scared. not like those silly girlish girls, shouting like hell los..
kns!
like those in my class.. eeeyer.. kns!
pui~
well..
* ahem *
the most sway thg is, i wif that stupid stick man los..
kns!
cos at first i wanted to be wif angeline. but he went to jerry.
thn i found kai. who later , went to fiind his frend los.
i no choice, hav to be with that stickman
he damn stupid de los..
act smart nia.. wen the instructor was instrucing us, he say till like pro los..
but whu knows. wen kayaking, i better thn him los.. i direct all the way sia..
and i found out one thing that , our right is his left and left is his right.
kns!
so gong los.. worst thn SOTONGS!
kns!
it was fun anyways. not being wif him but kayaing was fun lurhs..
after kayak, we went to bathe.. so damn dirty los..
the sea water made my face appear rashes.
hais. damn sad at first but after i went home put medications , it was much better lers.
hmmm that day was also campfire nite.
after bathing , we had to plan fer the camp fire thingy.. so , we planned lurhs of cos..
but while discussing , our leader cried .. cos too stress ler. and pple in my group dun wanna co-operate los..
well but in the end it turns out well.
we planned for a game wif the audience (:
and the enjoyed it . i can feel it (:
and after the game we had our cheer wif out instructor. he's so cute los (:
before the camp fire, i had m bday celebration wif the BLs.
SPECIAL THANKS TO YUNRU, ROSSANE AND THE LEADERS.
whu wished me and planned for this surprise!
i was really shocked and gan dong. as all of u can see i kept crying....
hahas.. really had a GREAT 18 BDAY (:
thnaks guys!
and yunru mummy! (: loves!
and the third day morning, same thing happened again..
isabell called and called los.
so the fan lurhs..!
haiyo.. we dun intent to bathe de los.. hao xin ni , rang wo man zai sleep awhile more can?
llols. was wanting to say that de lurhs.. .hahahs!
well third day, a happy and a sad da lurhs..
happy is i can see my bed again!
and sad is that we hab to live the happy . parents-free place ler..
so sad los..
this is the only camp that i can feel really closed and welcomed from the group (:
hehes..
well the last day , i finall got a chance to hit kenny's mei tui (:
TWICE SOMEMORE!
wahahahahahs!

hmmm welll. i mus thankk those whu helped me celebrate m bday as well.. such as,
LEYIN , SIEWCHOO , SIEWLING,ANGELINE, XUELIN, ANGEL , SHARON, SHUTING, XUEWEI (:
the cake ,
winne and piglet balloon,
and the rose (:
i really enjoyed and loving it (:

and ikea members,
FREDDY , CATHI , ZI XIANG and TAIJIAN
fer the big piglet.
and the bowling game. (:

bcos of all of u , i had a really great 18th bday (:
the first time in my life that i had tis great , grant and wonderful party (:
thnaks once again to all those pple i mention (:
love you guys!

hais

2007-07-09T07:24:00.001-07:00

090707
2224pm

i did something bad today..
actually not bad is super bad.. and i am feeling guilty now..
hais..
its about johnson and siew choo..
she told me what happened them..
thn i tried to help
by using her pone to message him..
but the matter got worst..
johnson deleted her from frendster.
hais!
all my bloody fault los..
should hav used my pone instead! why am i so stupid?
but no matter what i will tell him the truth..
although i dun hav the courage.. but i mus be responsible with what i hav done..
siew choo.. once again..
I AM SOWIE!
although u said u are ok.. but i know u lied..
how can u be ok when things are already like tt?
hais..
i feel very guilty ...
dunno how to face u tmll...

what?

2007-06-26T08:28:00.000-07:00

26o6o7
2328pm

eh..
today kinda pissed with KS
keep teasing about my height..
i dunno why but. pple like to tease me.. even those farkin uncles..
i am small. doesnt mean i am timid!
and dun think i kept silence means tt i am afraid of you.
its jus tt i respect you. so i kept quiet..
and that doesnt mean also that you can keep on teasing me!
kinda pissed with my life..
all of u tease my height.. its ok..
dun say abt my looks.
i know i am ugly.. and so are u!
its not tt i wanna say till this way.. but all of u don know the limits in 1.
all u know is keep teasing and feel very shoick isit?
u shoick doesnt mean i am shoick!
pls lurhs pple.. do hav some brains!
wen the face changes.. just STOP IT!
sometimes pple doesnt even CARE how other feel...
thats why we get hurt!
u like it wen others tease u?
mayb u like it.. cos u r nuts?
who cares..
but wen i am being nice to u. then..
APRECIATE IT!
and dun STEP onto my head..
dun go off the limits.
i tell myself this.. and i will make it very clear...
today is the last day i will be nice to all.
hate me for all u wan. tease me with all u got. i will stay silence.
if u step off the limit , BYE!

anyways... was only worked till 6 but OT till 9 . but stayed there till 10.
cos too bored and my eyes are hurting like shit!
ahahhsa!
cant even open it..
thnks to tt SUPER-DUPER-UNLTRA-POWERFUL contact lens..
the brand had an offer tt time. so i bought 3 so its cheaper.. but who knows,
the more ev the thing is , the lousiest it will be.
omg
now i hav sore eyes..
again!
i used only abt hmm... LESS THN A WEEK!
omg its hurting so badly los..
hais..
well nvm then.. jus ignore tt brand if i happen to see it..
hahas!
yar..
ask js to go fer the bl thingy. and she said she working. only can go in the evening..
and so i told the leaders abt it.. and she was kinda pissed as well. cos she keep missing during bl outings .
i was kinda pissed wen ask to join for the movies..
like queen like tt.. keep askin her go thn dun wan reply...
hais..
nvm lurhs... wen comes to this.. jus hav to be cool!
hahas..
today was so damn tired los..
but well nvm
tml will be like 10 full hours again..
oh yar!
thnks ella for the meal!
and her bf for the casing and solutions for my lens..
thnks ar!
i owe u both! (:

2007-06-22T08:59:00.000-07:00

23o6o7
ooo1am

yar.. that b!tch viewed me again.
knns.. so angry lurhs.. view me for what.. think i will forgive ur childishness?
go hell mans!
agrh..

anyways..
hmmm..
worked from morning 11am to 9pm mans!
so damn tired now..
10 full hours..
i asked ah wee abt recuiting pple.. but he said not in the moment..
wen i first reached there..
michael was with lots of black clouds surrounding him. ABOVE HIS HEAD!
so scary lurhs..
so fierce..
thn after awile he's back to normal liaos..
joke wif me like siao los..
think he has PMS!
omg!
ahahash!
iskanda quarrel with a childish ikea staff.. jus bcos of FRENCH FRIES!
lols..
isnt it funny?
quarrel over fries?
siao 1 los..
really dunno what goes to her head!
oh yar.. worked wit cathi todaY..
but i still feel a gap there. dunno why.
hahas. well nvm.
hmmm went homw with her as well..
was kinda funny wen she slept on bus.. head was like .. lols..
dunno hahahs!
she tot i was angry.. cos we went back tgh with her staff los..
but i wasnt lurhs.. music surround my soul (:
today's a tired day..
tml a full 10 hrs again..
alone outside los..
tt stupid halah..
ahahahs!
well gtg sleep now..
*YAWNS *
nites..
oh ya..
he FINALLY ONLINE!

sad

2007-06-21T04:56:00.000-07:00

210607
1957pm

today went for checkup. in woodlands polyclinic.
its a malay lady who checked me..
cos of my chin los..
was kidna sad cos hav to go on a op.
a major de.. cos she say this isnt common.
was kinda sad apon hearing this.. scared as well.
though i know i had to go on a op last year. but the doc says its getting worse. so hab to go on a najor one.
hais.. what am i gonna do?
the chin also made my teeth kena worse as well.. the upper and the lower..
dun wanna smile much.
i am weak in the body..
insufficent of calcium.. thats why.
the doc also says i hav ezima.. dunno how to spell..
but its a skin disease....
what am i gonna doooo??????

funnnnn

2007-06-20T11:36:00.000-07:00

210607
0236am

writting this wif my swollen eyes after the movie ..
well.. try my best to type finish!
jus came back from the FANTASTIC 4 MOVIE!!! with BL!!!
so fun today.. the movie was really FANTASTIC!
ahahahs!
so touching somemore.. i love the silver surfer! but so sad.. he wei le jiu the earth , he died?
hmmmm think so ba..
ahhahs...
after the movie , went to the arcade. played POTO HUNTING and BBALL!
yay! broke my score at genting.. 122! yay!
ahahhas...
after that we went to play pool... was so lan los..
deproved liaos.. so sad los..
hais. must gambatte! cos hav to changellenge wig MISS SOH!
hahahas!
sowie if there's any typo error!
so damn itchy lurhs my eyes! swollen!
mus be that cleanser! from malaysia de.. i bought
hais..
went home late.. took the last train...
from ps ran all the way to the mrt... lols.. almost vomit all the drinks i hav earlier..
after that the kind kind de da ge da sent me home. fen fu by da jie da de
ahahhas!
scared i kena kipnap! :/
thanks all!
love u guys...
i enjoyed today..!
oh ya.. forgot..!
I MET NEW FREND!!! -- ELISA!
hahas.. a sweet senior!
hehes..
so lookin forward to out next BL outing!
gonna be a greant one tooooo..... (:

dreams

2007-06-19T05:14:00.000-07:00

190607

2041pm

sometimes i really wonder.. what are dreams made of?
motive of dreams. and the meaning of dream.
recently dreamt of him again.
this time is still the same.. patchin wif him and happiy enjoying it.
althought woke up wif a smile. but its all a lie .
its really hurting.
this dream was jus few hours before. it made my day really sad ..
remember the song breakaway? by kelly clarkson?
really wish i could breakaway....
din see him online for 2 weeks.
though i dun hav much feelings fer him ler.. but will miss him sometimes..
out of a sudden , i hav the urge of wanting to meet him ...
aug is comin. and is their 1 yer ler..
kinda sad but what can i do?
everyday tryin to be happy. no one knows me .
no one knows how i really felt.. no one feels what i will be feeling.
now listening to ' open arms ' from 5566
really hope those action in this song , will come true by u..
people says ' dreams will come true , so does miracle '
do u believe?
'living witout you living alone. this empty house seems so cold.
wanting to hold you , wanting you need , how much i wanted you home.....
now that u've come back , tonite and today, i needed you stay....
the words i've always wanted you to say...
those words seems so far away..
do u really felt the same as i do?
after tt breakoff , do u still think of me? or u wanted me off long ago?
u said to move on.. but i its jus too diff to do so.
to you , moving on was the plan u wanted wen we were havin our 8th aniversary..
isnt this true?
hope it isnt.. but the feeling u gave was so much a yes...
going on a holiday , makes me feel so much better.
i kept askin myself,
why am i so fooklish?
to even believe what u said , and get sad over it?
i know now u treat me like a stranger . but do u know?
u still remains the same u in my heart.
hope tt u can reach out for me. and always be the one who u always be.......

hope that you will stay jus for a min more. to hear your heartbeat. and feel the warmth

she left...

2007-04-26T07:09:00.000-07:00

-260407-

GERLGERL

IN MEMORIES OF -GERL2-

FER ALL THE LAUGHTER AND SMILE.

OUR LOVE FER U WILL NEVER FADE.

WILL ALWAYS STAYS IN OUR HEART.

REST IN PEACE.

- MAY GOD BLESS YOU-

- wif loads of love. JINWEN-

GREAT DAY!!!! (:

2007-04-22T05:57:00.000-07:00

SUNDAY 220407

2102

hey peeps!

today was really a great day!

outing wif my favourite kids.. i mean cousins!

hehehs!

....

in the morning..

went to temple to pray my GREAT GRANDMA and my GRANDPARENTS*

i didnt get to see my GREAT GRANDMA ..

but i miss my GRANDPARENTS alot!!

wen i saw their poto ..

especially my GRANDMA , i felt like crying..

they warmed my heart..

i miss them!!

i know they miss me too.. cos i had dreams from them!!

hais..

wen my GRANDMA was still alive , she treated me very good!

she wasnt bias at all.. she doted every of her grandchildrens..

but she always gave me present.. like one of those days..

i rmbed...

A MINNIE MOUSE YELLOW WALLET*

though i lost it wen we first moved house from bedok.

hais..

those sweet childhood she left fer me..

my relation wif GRANDPA then to my GRANDMA.

hmmmm.... wasnt that close..

i seldom tok to my GRANDPA.

i jus remembered..

after i changed my name , [ i was called TaoTao in the past ]

he will still call me AH TAO AR....

lols!!

rememberin all those memories!!

i miss it!!!!!!!!

i was still in my pri days wen they left me..

jus to let them know..

I MISS BOTH OF YOU , AH GONG, AH MA!!

i really do!

after visiting the temple..

we went home...

wen we reached home

a decision is made and set!

2007-04-14T09:22:00.000-07:00

saturday 140407
0026 am

YES! i have decided! and i think i gonna set this as my NEXT THING TO DO*!
guess what?
after a month or so , i decided to quit my current job liaos..
mayb i am beingselfish.. but i dun wanna tolerate anymore..
and also dun wanna see those whu doesnt wanna see me too.. wahhahs!
anyways.. few days back..
one of the AUNTIE. [ my favourite de ]
gave me sweet !! hehehs..!!!
so sweet of her.. althought know me only a month.. but i think i left her a good impression ba
hehehs!
thnks auntie! U ARE THE BEST IN IKEA!
btw. most pple dun like S*
at first i find her a nag.. but now she is so much nicer to me liaos (:
today at work.. i reached at 4. and she came to me and say..
' XIAO MEI. i going home liaos [ thn she smiled at me ] '
thn i asked why so early.. she was like....
' WHAT EARLY! I LEFT HUS AT 530 . REACHED HERE 6 PLUS LEIS. i live so far u know.! '
thn ask where she live.. she answered me .. but i forgort where liaos.. hahahs!
thn i asked again. isit far from here. she says .. ' Hai hao lurhs '
thn i say.. if urs is far.. thn mine leis!
wen she heard my answer.. she shouted ' HUH?!? WHY SO FAR? FROM THERE U COME HERE WORK AR.. THN HOW U COME HERE EVERYDAY?!?! '
so i answered los..
ahahhas!
shocked ba?
hmmmm... she is so much much nicer toooo meee!!!!!
hhees.. but too bad ba.. i dun hav the face and the fate to stay there any longer!
today aar.. hais..
its saturday.. this equals to many pple comin here shop shop buy buy! [ chop chop bye bye! ]
hmmm so today is much more a busy day ba.. end of the day , everythg has sold out!
hmmm.. near the ending of my shift..
one of the I* scolded me..
hmmm.. cos chicken wing is much more a POPULAR* side order dish in IKEA.
and so it gets sold put very fast.. and gotta top up fer it.. inside the warmer..
and normally it is placed in a smaller metal container but suddenly , wen i went fer top up..
i saw a big tuck of chicken wings placed in a bigger container tin.. thn i was like.. ' hurry lurhs.. i gotta serve the pple leis! '
so i asked the uncle without thinkin through my head..
' uncle.. chicken can take de huh? use hand put inside hor? '
thn that I* jiu say..
' of cos lurhs.. this kinda simple stuff also dunno ar? '
thn i was like kinda pek che at that time liaos. not becos of I* but wif the crowd.
but I* made me even fed up!
so i talk back at I*
' cos i stupid ma. '
thn I* was like..
' you dun no respect to elders hor '
thn i was like.. whu cares abt u?
thn i take the chicken wing back liaos..
but i feels so much better!!!!
i feels so relieved!!!
yes!!
ahahahhas!!
btw, today is afternoon shift de.. and is equals to younger pple 's shift ma..
wen i stand there.. i feels so extra mans!!
cos i everytime is morning de ma.. thn today suddenly do afternoon.. like .. hais!
nvm..
anyways.. today B* broke a plate today..!
lets give a hand to him.. cos ...
HE'S THE FIRST TO BREAK A PLATE!!!!!
ahahs.! jking!!!
wen he breaks the plate.. suddenly the crowd goes SILENT.. the lady was like keep lookin at B*
haiyo!
next time mus be careful mans!
MIC* is very sensitive de!!
oh yar.. during break.. i met ella.
she ask me to follow her downstairs bcos she wanna smoke..
the funniest thg is..
wen i enter the lift.. i saw MIC* he say ' GO SMOKE AR? '
thn i say no lurhs..
wen i met MRWEE* he say the same thg too..
does my face looks like a smoker to u?
lols!
oh yar!
this week is my last week [ full ] in IKEA .
so MIC* asked if i am workin next week. so i say no.. thn say is studying..
thn he says..
dun study lurhs..
i see ur face dun suit studies de..
i was like.. WHAT EVER!
whu cares abt what u says?
what do u know?

oh yar. these pic are some of the thgs fer past few days (:

LMAO (:

2007-04-11T07:48:00.000-07:00

WEDNESDAY 110407
2252PM

today started off wif a sleepy face..
dragged all the way to work...
found myself so ke lians..
lols.. jking nia..
actually workin is fun wen the person u workin wif , is fun!
OKOK!
let me introduce this BIG GUY*!
HE AR..
' LIKES TO BULLY SMALLER PPLE! [ like me ! :( ]
' LIKES TO JOKE ALOT! [ sometimes lame but he dunno ]
' BUT! WEN IT GETS TO HIS NERVES.. [ hohoho.. :) ]
he like to KA JIAO pple till THEY* gets irratated.... thn he willl....
HAHAHHAHAS!!!
laugh and laugh...
like fun los..
to him fun lurhs.. to us ar..
-.- ''
anywyas... before going fer work..
my mum scooped food fer me to MAKAN MANS!!!!!!!!!!!
its been such a long time since she scooped food fer me liaos..
ahahahs!
so happy....
anywas... was tokin abt that BIG GUY*
ahahahs..!!!!
his name is same as me de!
has a ' J '
((((:
oh ya..
early in the morning.. i put my bag at the front and went to STAFF CANTEEN*
actually is cafe but canteen sounds so much nicer.. like back to sch days like tt...
* AHEM *
lets continue (:
before i reach there.. i can see a BIG SHADOW*
hahahs.. thn i was wondering where the other uncle is..
thought he was in-charge today..
but it wasnt!
it was J*
ahahahhas!
i looked at him wif a strange and blur face..
thn he looked at me.. i mean looked down at me*
' you here ar? '
' yes! '
' u leis? why you here also? '
' i in charge here lurhs.. '
i was like...
HUH?????
thn he explains..
cos ar.. staff here ar.. need a SENIOR* to look after
i was thinking in my mind ' EH? SENIOR -.-'' '
thn ok los... welll... its better to hav him around lurhs...
cos time crawls at staff..
so boring that u can falls asleep there -.-
hahahs!
well..i met a new STAFF today as well.!
she's called E* fer short..
she's an indian..
at first she's quiet.. but after we become comfortable wif each other she started to joke around ..
this big guy ar..
since one incident that happened at the kitchen...
i fergot what liaos..
from that very day... he keep ka jiaoing me sia..
ahahhas!
like wen i go to top up chicken wing from the warmer..
he will like.. shout at me..
' WHAT U WANT? ' [ wif those big eyes he has ]
thn i say chicken wing lurhs.. [ kinda scared ]
thn he will say THN FASTER TAKE LURHS..
thn i will like.. ok ok -.-
thn he will say..
JUS JOKIN LURHS
wthhhhhhh~
get my feelings?
lols!
eh.. today ar..
got to know him better liaos..
he really is a nice guy lurhs..
i laugh till like siao..
rmb jus now ..
cos TODAY'S SPECIAL* was. CURRY CHICKEN * - yum yum (: -
hmmmm.. hahahs!
oh yar..
CC - double C (:
thn we are supposed to ask if the customers wants either BREAD or RICE..
due to my pronouncing was not good.. as well as m englishhhh...
i said...
to the customer ' you wan rice or MIAN BAO -.- '
thn J* was like..
ahahaha!!!!
MIAN BAO! MIAN BAO!
hahahas!
he was laughing so crazy that it makes the customer laugh too..
i was so damn PS!
omg!!!
lols!
thn nvm los! fergets it..
also rmb one more.. i was NOT ALLOWED TO SIT DOWN ON THE CHAIR! *
hahahs..
at first [ wen i just reached ]
i sat down on the chair..
thn BIG GUY looked very tired .. so i offered my seat to him..
whu knows.. he said..
CAN SEE I TIRED AR.
he says ' u dun wan sit ar? '
thn i say.. no lurhs i see u so tired u sit los..
me and my stupid mouth,. say 3 thn will tired 3 thn let me sit..
agrh..
so its true.. 3 thn he let me sit -.-
agrh!
anyways.. i met another J* there also..
ahahhas
at the other side of hala . oh yar! not forgetting one of the auntie.. dunno her name (:
ps ... ((: -.-''
i wasnt suppose to go to the outside hala de.. but MR POH*
asked me to take over the auntie fer lunch.. but he forgotten to remind that BIG GUY not to go over to the outside..
and guess what..
ended up . both of us was at the outside.. serving.. lols!!
thn the cashier J* was like.. HUH? 2 person -.-
but ok lurhs... BIG GUY taught me how to serve outside!
cos i am very very blur de los..
so he taught me los!
lols!
the time was 2pm ba.. supposed to me 1 person at each side of the hala.. meaning.. either staff or hala..
so BIG GUY asked me to go back to STAFF . come back half an hour later ...
so i did what he says los.! ahahas!
thn i was back wif E*
she says i looked like JAPANESE!
hahhhaas!!!
cool! first person that ever says i look like JAP.
AHAHAHS!
I AM NOT!
hehehs..
she says so cos my assent was so unusual.. hmmm no.. is.. UNIQUE bas..
ahahahs! jking..
she found it weird as i specks .. so she asked if i am a SINGAPOREAN *
and i said yes of cos!
lols!
what i dun like is .. she also said i look like china.. -.-
WHICHHHHH...
makes BIG GUY [ before 2pm -.- ] makes a joke out of it..
guess what he said,. -.-
he says.. ' of cos lurhs.. she chinese of cos is from china lurhs.. '
' then indian comes from india , malays comes from malaysia . '
thn i asked..
' ang mo leis? ANG MO KIO ar? '
lols!
he says.
' NOW THEN U KNOW AR? '
-.- '''
anywyas... E* comes from a complicated family background...
hais.. feels so sad fer her..
she taught me alot abt life!
even shared her life experience..
she's a mother of 2.
hahahs.. she is real GREAT*
hehehs..
anyways... it was 230pm..
i returned to the hala side..
i am still very very blur lurhs.. even the auntie at the cashier cant stand how stupid i can be -.-
i wasnt good in malay.. so before BIG GUY goes fer is break.. he wrote down all the dishes on a piece of paper..
so NICE OF HIM !*
hehehs.!!!
oh yar.. time FLIES outside better thn at the staff (:
thn it was 3pm.. the auntie was back.. and soon the rice was down as well..
so i asked here where to get it.. and she opened the BIGGGGGG rice cooker..
and guess what?
THE RICE IS SO DAMN DRIED UP ON TOP -.-
so we tried to stir it up and scoop to the rice bin?
lols
hmmmm... today was so much fun!
annnnnndddd.... ITS TIME FER ME TO GO HOME ):
NO MORE BIG GUY...
):
but before i go i gave sweets to staff that i know (((:
COCACOLA (:
hope you guys like it..
i even gave to the pple that i jus know lols!
i mean the cashier lurhs -.-
ahahhas!
ANYWAYS!
I , HEREBY THANK ALL THE PPLE WHU HELP ME WEN I REALLY NEED THEM TO TEACH ME.. ALTHOUGH I AM SO DAMN STUPID.. PLS FERGIVE ME.. COS I HAV ALWAYS BEEN LIKE THIS [ since young ]
hshehs.. (:

wif lots of love <3
jinwen (: --/-@

it's something i will remember for life.

2007-04-09T17:00:00.000-07:00

o4o9o7

20o1pm

yday, was kinda a sad ending for me.

but it woke me up from those fairytales girly girly thought lurhs.

i smsed him in the morning , sayin if he hav woken , and yes he replied.

after that he also said , not to forget to hav my breakfast.

you know something , i really love going to school. cos i hav the acc of my frends.

so i wont think so much..

sometimes i really feel like giving up , but i cant. but now , after so many things , i finally xiang tong lers...

was saying , yday i messaged him again in the nite.. i asked ' harlos dear , what you doing? '

thn he replied , ' when i am free then i take the gift from you . dun pass it to my bro , dun disturb him '

and yes, it made me cry..

i was about to go to sleep , on my bed, wen he replied this, i cried of cos..

u can say i am a crybaby . whatever ok!

its so hurting , so sad i cant love you anymore. i hav to tell myself , to forget you.

its easy for me cos , u din leave much good memories for me either.

and yes the gift, hmmm.. i will gib him de.

but its only the keychain. it has his name on it . cos its useless for me to use it also rite.

and the sketch?

i burnt it

ya. it may sound so dramatic, bcos of these small stuff i burnt the art piece.

once a person told me , a good artist , never burn , damage or blame the art for not being what it is.meaning that , no matter how awful the art piece is , never critize it..

and .. this time , its diff ba...

its kinda angry too , asking me not to disturb his bro. and yes , his bro is ver dear to him..

and me this so called gf , is nothing to him..

yup , i cant be like his ex , know him better .. yup , other girls would be better for u ba.
i so ugly and so rough , not up to ur expectations. i know.. i can feel it.
the feel isnt there anymore. u can lie , saing u are busy.. and yes, u are also busy ,
u were NEVER FREE!
u can hav the time to learn guitar, no time to even sms me? wow .how amazing.
u can hate me , and please .. hate all u want , i need u no more.
and yes, i will find someone better.
i dun need u anymore. go carry on busy , busy with ur work or what so ever,
and also a yes, i am not understandin enff.. i dun trust u , yes , its all a yes!
so? do u even care?
u asked me not to compare. hahas! how stupid .. yes, other pple can see their partner at least once a week , or once a month.. for us? not even a min u would wannaa pei me..
and so ? nvm its ok with me , its fine with me..
and u make me realise something , smsing me is a very difficult for you , it would take you ur life doing so.. how true is that , u can sms other pple without even need to think if u wanna reply not.. u can read it and send the next.
for my case?
read , ignore.
hahas! thanks for all these truth .. thanks , i appreciate it..
u said u had a crush with her* but u thought it wasnt possible to be with , .. and after so , u said u like me .. ya.. how true is that?.
ya , all those ' i love you ' and ' darling ' ..oh man!..
stop lying to urself as well as me can? u are making me look like a 101% fool.
are u treating me like a kiddo or something?
how does it feel if u really love someone , but she cant meet you everytime? how would u feel?
we are tgh for 18 days ler. and another 12 day , its our ani.. and i think i can forget it. all my thoughts and plan for our first month , all ,can be deleted from my mind..
i can tell u , those i love you taht i said , i meant it.. u may not believe it.. its ok..
its a one-sided love afterall. its being me myself and i all along , there's no u at all.
ya , i told pple i hav a bf , but i dun feel so xin fu as the others, the gave their love to their partner , and got what the other's in return. as for me.. i gave , but i got nothing ..
its not i like to act pityful . but its like this.. i dunno what i did to deserve such ' good ' blessing..
my frends kept askin my why recently i hav been lookin so emo. and i told them i was ok. after which it made me feel worst... i cant stand it , so i blunt it out .. i cried in front of them , cos i really cant control anymore.. he 's always been like this, even i told my frends what happened , his tone is always so heavy , jus why are u treating me this way?
its like . no matter how busy you will be , at least a sms or a call , to tell me that u are okay.. i really care for you.. but i dun seems u know it.
u din show me love nor care at all.. all i got was , ' busy busy andddd busy '
this shows me that you dun care..
these few days , i smsed you with like ' dear mus drink more water ok? '
and u din reply ...
and i messaged him again.. ' dear , u there? '
but then he replied ' hmm ya why? '
its like , he used to call me darling , now not even a name for me..
he used to call me penguin so do i.. but now , i am a nobody to him now..
it seems so far away..
got once , that was the last time we met .. meaning 2 weeks ago..
i told him .. dear, we seems so far away . liek a gap is in btwn..dont u think so?
he replied , ' no , i dun think so . we are jus fine aint we ? '
we were in the mrt.. thn i joked with him , saying ' ok los .. thn u go find a better girl los. with big breast de ' thn he was like , ' u are a girl leis.. say things so rough de. not like girl los. ' thn suddenly i kept quiet . thn he find it strange.. so he asked me , ' why so quiet?. ' i said nothing.
thn he said , ' ok los. next time i ask you something i will not tell you los.. i copy u say nothing los.. thn dun blame me what angeling know and u dunno ar.. '
i almost felt like crying okay! but i din lurhs.
hmmm then i reached home . we din hold hand on our way back . but he kissed me.. thanks for it. but , i dun need it anymore le.. and i know i will never get the chance to hav you again..
you are worth being loved by someone else..
and i know , ur ex , might still be waiting for u ..
well who cares? if so , i also dun even hav the rites to do so ..
hahas! i dun wanna interfere ur life anymore. and i know u dun need me either.
and recently , i asked , ' penguin , do you think we should carry on with this realtion? mus reply ar. '
and his answer was, ' dunno ' thn i said ' what's dunno , either a yes or a no , i respect ur decision. '
he said ' dunno , what about you? '
i replied. ' ur ans sure is yes de . hahas '
' wen did i said yes? if u wanna decided for mi , fine , i respect ur decision '
its like WTF los.. hais.. suan le. i was so damn depressed .. i asked jiejie to call me .. and we chatted..so did meimei. then she got someting to do so we hanged.. so i called rosanne mum for help.. and yup we chatted.. hahas. very funny de lurhs..
thn she suggested , ' why dun u gib him a call? miracle do happens '
so i do as she told .. i smsed ' can u spare me sometime ? please .'
he replied ' ya . what? dun say please. '
so i called him .. on the pone , his tone dun seems to care, like wanna put down faster like tt , its like having a little time from him , its as it take his whole life time los.. so i quickly said what i wanna say lurhs.. he kept saying dunno to my question.. ' 1/4 is u 3/4 is work. how u wan me to decide? '
and yes. this told me so , i hav to give up..
me and rosanne popo chatted till late nite, so told me alot of her stuff.. this woke me up los..
she injected some sense to me. and i hav learnt it.. thnks mum! u are really a good leader!
can always count on u! ((((:
and so i sent him a message as wat mum told me to type de.
telling him that let him stable his work first and wen everythg is done , contact me back.. and saying that i will wait for him and told him not to misunderstand this wasnt meant of breaking..and i asked if its okay for him.. and yes! u've got it rite..
HE DIN REPLY!!
wahhahahs! expected de ma.. hahas! suan ler.. hahahas..
well.. i tried to give him some time to think abt it. but it seems that there's no need for it. so i called it off ba.
although i asked angeline to find out , but i think the answer will still be the same de.. well.
make him hate me more , so i can forgets him faster ok!
hahas! no matter what .. thanks for accepting me in the first place. gratful that u ignored me..
anyways.. i dun wanna make things very bad for both of us.. he has a bright future.. and me , i am only a student from beauty , i 've got a long way till i succeed. so , find someone who u will cherish and love her with all ur heart ok!?
well.. i thank god i get the chance to know you , bcos he made me realised , not to accept someone whom u dun love and push them away suddenly without u noticing it.. wen the feel is not there anymore , try someway to let it go , cos u will suffer , not him! god , i trufully thank you for the everything i hav encounted and realied from this relation.. i will cherish my next and get a good life ahead of me.. love you god..

and yes, u dun hav to contact me anymore . cos i wont me doint it either.
lets not be frends cos it will make everything weird.. and thnks for telling me u love me once.
i treasure the love u giv me.. but i know i hav to let go ler..
its time where we must concentrate and cherish life even more .
hope u get to find the true MISS RITE for u..
may god bless you..
take kares.!

drowning in the world of myself..

2007-04-09T08:22:00.000-07:00

monday 090407
2326 p m

hais... kinda sad wif myself lately.. seems like i m hating myself more and more.. deeper and deeper..
dunno isit that i am thinking too much
or isit i am jus lying to myself..
sometimes jus feels that the world is AGAINST* me.
few days ago.. i met A* ..
and on that day.. he ask me fer *..
so i agreed.
seems like i am damn plain stupid to even accept to be *...
hais..
sometimes i dunno what i am thinking...
now.. i met W*
and he asked fer it too...
what the hell?
isit that GOD* is playing wif me?.
or isit i am that lucky?
guess not..
lucky in a way that people keeps playin wif my feelings..
hais...
i know in the past i hurt man pple's heart..
isit my turn that my heart will be hurt?
isit called BAO YING*?
hais... suan le..
i am not ready fer such GAME*
no ! i am super not ready!
hais...
nowadays... having morning shifts...
dunno why.. out of a sudden.. kena morning shifts fer 3 weeks liaos...
hais...
morning shift is a DEAD SHIT*!
i am always very blur during morning ...
cos i dunno their expectation lurhs..
and i always hav mistakes..
hais..
sometimes.. wen ' ONE STAYS IN THE RAIN , DUNNO HOW LOVELY THE SUN SHINES. *'
hahas... jus thought of it .. jiu write it out..
this is my feeling rite now..
i stayed too long in the dark that now i find the sun an irritate to my eyes..
well... i am not against the sun. this is jus a saying nia..
hais...
i am having such mixed feelings now..
i dunno where to go..
i feels so NUMB* to my life..
parents.. work and money..
hais..
not that i am money-face..
but.. wen one is having a hole in the pocket.. the feeling is TERRIBLE*
hais.. jus got my PAY* few days back..
and now i am broke again..
my bill..
$454.72 hais..
oh ya.. and also.. treated my parents to IKEA FOOD*
a total of $36.50
yday .. spent $500 in total ba..
hais..
but nvm lurhs...
treating them is not a prob...
prob lies wif..
not enff money buying school stuff and daily needs...
i need money fer sch too..
and i am already big enff to earn a living fer myself...
althought i dun hav money... i cant take from my parents rite?
hais..
my mum is jobless..
and my dad 's earning is fer my mum , his car and himself..
sometimes not enff fer himself also..
wen i see him in such a state .. i feels like crying...
few days back.. my mum was crying over this kinda stuff..
i wanna help.. but i really cant...
i even wanna withdraw money frim the bank for them..
but they didnt want it...
hais.. i dunno what to do..
my bro is spendin money like his own will...
sometimes even taking money from my parents wen he knows they dun hav enff..
he is in NS..
he has money.... government gave him money..
but why does he use money so fast..?
suan le.!
hais... fark mans!
i am feelin so farkin confused now!
hais.. today wen out wif FAIRUL* SHEQYN* AMALINA* IFA*
to watch my BAND* perform fer SYF*
and guess what?
WE GOT A SILVER*
SO PROUD OF THEM!
wen they announced we got a silver...
i jump wif joy.. and almost cried!
omg!!
pple was findin us weird wen we cheered wif joy wen we got a silver..
not a gold..
but they will not feel how we felt..
cos we always has the standard in us ..
but wen the announced ...
we really are happy..
COS WE IMPROVED*
sowie.. not we
is THEM!
my BAND!
I LOVE YOU GUYS!*
we are the best in SLSS*
oh ya.. before the concert..
saw W* and les*
lols!
pretented not to see us.. hahahs!
stupid!
instead of cheerin fer her own band.. she is cheering fer our F ex band conductor school.
i was thinkin why we even chose her to be our band major that year..
such WRONG CHOICE!
hais..
but one thing i hav to say ...
THE JUDGES ARE COOL!
i rmb one of them...
DR.TONY
hahas!
i saw him smiling after the band plays.!
ahahah!
and i know there's hope!
hahas.!
anywyas... kinda tired liaos..
tok another time bas..
still loads to say !
save it fer tml folks!
(:

a GREAT day.. erhs.. MAYBE?

2007-03-23T06:43:00.000-07:00

[ FRIDAY ] 230307
2148pm

harlos peeps!
hahahs!
jus drew a pic that i started last week..
today jus add in some other parts in so it will look more
' PERFECT '
as if... -.-
ahahs! take a look bas!
ahahs!!
anyways...
the day before yday.. thats was wednesdy..
had off same as DB*
hahhahs!
so nan de lurhs..
since we are so free...
we decided to go fer a swim and get our skin some ' COLOURING '
hahahas!!!
wait wait*
tue was a fun day as well..
thought i was not in a very good mood... but it was reall a great day!
why?
cos....
1o hours of work.. thought was a boring one...
but whu knows...
the other half of the day... i was in charged of HALA* side...
and that was my first time lurhs..
and was kinda scared cos i dunno anythg.. so i ask my frend Y*
how ...
she explained and wen needed help , jus ask the cashier...
thn i was like... ' HUH ): '
i dun even know the cashier lurhs...
thn it was time liaos..
no choice.. die jiu die.. ask jiu ask..
lols!!
thn i was thinking..
' HOW I WISH CATHI WAS HERE!!!! '
and hen qi ji de...
CATHI REALLY APPEARS!!!!!!!
ahahahas!!!
she was behind me.. and called out fer me...
she called me via 'MATONG'
LOLS!
kinda ps also lurhs...
there eating place.. call this kinda name..
but used to it liaos lurhs..
she ar.. 0.0
yup..
HALA* side was very slackin..
but not BORING AT ALL!
hahahs.. got DB* pei me .. better thn someone i dunno rite?
ahahs!
though it was slacking..
cleaning up wasnt as easy as u thought...
it was very JIA LAT*
must clear everythg and send it fer washing..
and also send to another side of the HALA* to carry on selling...
hais..
but.. it was around 9 liaos..
so one of the AUNTIE* was asking me to throw away much stuff..
tat was wen i realised.....
HOW MUCH FOOD WE WASTE EVERYDAY!!
and thinkin of pple whu DIED OF HUNGER!
hais..!
why ar?
why mus pple be so wasteful?
and not thinkin of those whu SUFFERED and THOSE WHU CANT EVEN AFFORD TO A BUY MEAL..
THOSE WHU USED THEIR MONEY VERY WISELY.. dan xin they will not hav FOOD TO EAT..
hav you ever thought of how we are going to survive without food?
i think nowadays..
pple will always hav 3 meals a day..
dun hav to worry not having their stomach empty...
how XIN FU these pple are...
my mum once said...
' TAKE A LOOK AT HOW LIFE IS IN AFRICA , THOSE PPLE ARE SO SKINNY... ALL U CAN SEE IN THEM IS.... BONES! ONLY BONES! .. JUS THINK HOW FORTUNATED U ARE TO HAV AT LEAST A MEAL A DAY... JUS THINK!! '
and i LEARNT..
not to waste food..
though i sometimes will waste some....
but i alone , cant save much...
if everyone was to do a part in controling the amount of waste food everyday...and help those whu needed this... no one will starve..
mayb i am being too kua zhang..
but.. jus think of those whu really cant afford a meal!
wht do u think of them,?
we are ONE!
we mus help each other!

anyways.. was toking abt swimming on wednesday..
ahahhs!
hav to wake up early lurhs..
around...
9plus to 10?
lols!
tired.. but .. FUN!
of cos mus xi shen our beauty sleep lurhs..
whahhas!
was really a fun day!
we got ourselves ' LOBSTER SKIN '
ahahas!
but the sun wasnt very strong tt day.. dunno how come we got it also -.-
not much pple was there at the pool..
anywyas.. got BABES LEIS!
LOLS!
oie! i not les lurhs -.-
jus kinda jealous.. cos they are wearing BIKINIS..
which i cant wear... -.-
ahahhas!
anywyas..
hmmm..
mus THANK DB*
fer payin the FLOAT fer me..!
really HEN GAN XIE NI!
hahas..
((((:
in the toilet , i mean after our bath..
we took poto once again..
too many mirrors that made us do so..
lols!
we very zi lian de -.-
hahahs..
that was wen DB* broke my specs..
hmmm.. well i dun blame her also lurhs..
cos i didnt bao hu hao wo de specs.
and its made of plastic.. so it was kinda fragile -.-
after swimming... we took photos again and again and again -.-'''!!
alot leis!
take a look as well (((:
ahahs!
some of it i edited de!
but pls dun xiang y ar!
lols!
reall was a fun day lurhs... oh yar!
not forgetting!
THE HAWAIAN PIZZA!!!!
althought it was a small one.. but it feels our stomach (:
but ar...
DM* 's pattern of eating the pizza was much diff wif mine..
she put cheese and chili which i didnt.. lols!
i was like 'WHAT THE HELLLLLL~ '
thn she still say its nice combination -.-
ahahas!
well... she likes it can liaos los..
we , nono... i was so broke tt we shared money and bought it.. and the a can of PEPSI...
half fer each -.-
so poor thg lurhs..
but dun worry DB* i will treat u double wen i get my pay (:
thanks alot for everythg!!!! ((((:

after which.. we said GOODBYE* to each other...
as she needs to meet her MUM* at cosway..
and i had to go to sch to pay my FEES!
ahahs!
on the way there... i took mrt to TAMPINES ..
after which i went to the interchange and took 31..
i wasnt wearing contant lens nor specs.. so i cant see..
and so i took out my broken specs and see where the bus was located at..
and that was wen i thought i lost my specs at..
but well...
hmmm..
wen i reached the sch.. was very tired and was panting alot lurhs..
lao liaos ma..
ahahas!
hmmm...
went to pay my fees of cos.. and asked wen and where to get my uniforms...
and the LADY* guide me there..
she was kinda blur.. cos she didnt give me a ver important paper which brief us on what we are suppose to do and report on the first day of sch..
ahhss!
but well nvmm..
as i got it today..
these past 3 days.. i hav been going to that sch to settle everythg..
but what break my heart is..
the money on buying the clothes.. $80 -.-
i took out from my bank..
hais..
my mum made me a card yday.. and asked me to pay fer EVERYTHG lurhs..
so xin tong mans ))):
but nvm!
i must strive hard!
ahahahhas!!
what makes me mad is that..
i asked X* to come quick to buy the stuff and settle everythg.. but she jus dun listen...
but its her choice lurhs..
let her be lurhs..
uniform is closing few days later and so is the photo taking session..
if she dun settle it by next week.. thn i am so SOWIE LIAOS!
hais..
so i say..
one changes wen the other half appears..
frends are nothing to her i guess...
what eva.. dun wanna care so much..
she had been very sad recently as her beloved grandma had passed away last week..
so i understand how she feels actually...
hais..
X* take kares ar!!

today at work...
was kinda fun.. and
a bit of comedy at the ending of my work time..
S* hav been a little better to me already. and i am kinda glad though...
ahahas..
hmmm...
what's funny was...
okok.. i start from the top ok!
ahahs!
but i will cut it as short as possible!
first.....
S* was kind aupset wif somethg i also dunno lurhs.. think was about M*
ahahs.. she is scared of him.. lols!
hmm..
thn she was squading down at the fridge complaning abt the WHIP CREAM [ yum yum (: ]
behind was the BOY , pushing the ' CAR ' of plates...
so i alarmed S* thn she says..
' he dare bump into me mei? '
she thn stand up and walked away...
thn of cos the boy carried on pushin lurhs...
and whu know....
AG* did not realise the biy pushing behind as she was toking to one of the AUNTIE!
and she she SUDDENLY, she tui huo a little.. andddd...
*BANB!*
her butt was knocked by the ' CAR '
thn me and A* was like...
MUHUWAHAHAHAHHAHASSSSS!!!!!!~
laughing out lungs out!
ahahahs!
damn funny lurhs...
if u were at the an fa xian chang..
u will know how funny it was..
we cant stop laughing..
even as i was typing.. i am laughing like siao also..
not say i or xin lurhs..
but it was truly damn damn freaking funny!
ahahas!
anyways..
was a great day today..
hope everyday was like tt..
hahas!
hmmm... tml workin morning shift de..
gtg to ZzZZZZzzz... ((((:

FARKIN SAD..

2007-03-19T07:33:00.000-07:00

[ MONDAY ] 190307
2235pm

hais.. read SOMRTHING* and feel kinda sad now..
thought i am not know i am not fit to feel so..
but whu can ever helps me?
' TML WILL BE A BETTER DAY '
its so easy to say.. but why does it seems so difficult?
frends are treatin me like SHIT*!
EVER!
FARK MANS!
why does onw changes wen the hab their another half?
FARK FARK FARK!!!
hais..
WHY THE PPLE WHU WE LOVE DOESNT SEEMS TO CARE BUT..
THOSE WHU WE DUN LIKE ,
FALLS FER US?
hais..
life's so difficult to understand and do!
so much things to handle and understand and also to learn from..
hais.!
today was my 13th day in ikea liaos..
and relationship wif the pple there are gettinq better each day..
and this includes S* as well.. thought her so called SCOLDING* is really very scary..
but she seems to care fer me quite alot..
and i THANK her fer all her SCOLDINGS* cos ,
i really learnt ALOT* from her...
hahas.!
scoldinq doest means she hates you...
and meant that she cares..
DIFFERENT PEOPLE HAV DIFFERENT WAYS OF EXPRESSING ' LOVE* '
hahas.
scolding is her way of CARING* ba.
and also very gratful to I*
she dun scold ... but teach in a very nice way..
she jus makes everyone loves her ((:
i also wanna THANK* her fer being such a good hmmm.. TEACHER*?
lols..
hmm...
hais..
now i really very depressed..
due to tml's workin time..
FULL 10 HOURS!!!!
hais..
but well nvm..
helpin my parents are more important!
i mus learn to be helpful to the family.. and to be
INDEPENDENT!
i dun always wan to reach out my hand to take money from them all my life..
i am already a YOUNG LADY*!
i mus use my brain to think..
and use my hands to work!
hais..
i dunno why i am feeling this way now..
jus feel very depressed now..

dun blame me fer being mean..
jus bcos i dun like u doesnt mean i hate u .
jus dislike.. and not HATE!
hais...
fark mans!
i am jus worried..
and DEPRESSED LURRHHHHSSS~~~!!
FARK FARK FARK!

DEAD IN MILLIONS AND BILLIONS PIECES ):

2007-03-18T06:13:00.000-07:00

[ SUNDAY ] 18o3o7
2116pm

yday didnt post due to my injured hand
its getting worst but i still tries my best to post this out.
cos today was a very TERRIBLE day..
this morning i woke up early thn usual.. cos i start work at 9 to 3 -.-
ver tiring and waking so early in the mornin makes me even blur and stupid lurhs..
not enff sleep makes me keep getting things to wrong ways..
so..
this morning......
i went to work..
and....
S* was in charge
and...
hais.. what to say leis..
cos this is my first time on sunday that i works so early..
so i didnt know wat the meal will be..
cos breakfast changes everyday.. expect the FRENCH TOAST*

A DAY FULL OF HAPPY MOMENTS..

2007-03-16T06:43:00.000-07:00

FRIDAY [ 16.03.07 ]
2147PM

today was kinda happy and sad day lurhs.. hahas
why i say so leis..
let me explain (:
startin of the day ..
was kinda EMO* lurhs
wen reach ikea was feeling kinda sad lurhs..
enter the toilet .. jus suddenly cry sia.. lols!
i am MAD* liaos -.-
ahahhs!
then a kind lookin auntie ask me what happened..
thn i say..
nth lurhs.. contact lens dry 0.0
// THNKS AUNTIE! I AM ALRITE (((: //
wen inside.. saw a aunite same as me de. i mean SERVER lurhs..
she looked at me fer awhile..
thn ... HI!*
she also SUAN BIAN* asked what time i work..
thn jiu tell me alot of people outside ar.. today very busy.. thn PANG GU PI* also no time..
lols.!
she is jus so FUNNY* lurhs!
hahs.. thn ask if i got a plaster.. and i said yes and gave to her..
after that i changed and went out..
on my wa to the CAFE*
saw ALVIN*
he said HI*
and of cos i replied him lurhs -.-
then went to serve liaos...
wen i reach there.. i saw HIM* again..
thn i was thinking..
KAOS!* he's so fast lurhs..
so fast jiu ready fer work liaos ar.
ahahahs!
i am so damn slow mans!
today is the 8th day of work liaos.. but i find myself still as slow as the first day at work mans!
still no improvement...
still so damn SLOW!!!*
at first i was in charge of ' TODAY SPECIAL '
actually is all along lurhs... lols!
was kinda busy today...
but quite ok lurhs..
today didnt smile much at first..
thn i was thinkin..
being frendly to customers mayb can make their day..
so i changed my mind , putting all my troubles behind and started to smile again!
while workin..
got one IDOITIC* lady ar..
hais... siao de los..
the meal in front of her nia.. thn she ask me fer it..
thn i say.. THERE.. HELP URSELF TO IT LOS..
she gave me a face wif THAT* expression ar..which makes me cnnt ferget leis..
lols!
thn she says.. ' I WAIT VERY LONG LIAOS LEIS. NOW THEN U SAY ITS HERE '
got another customer who was waiting fer CHICKEN WINGS*
saw it too..
thn i look at her..
and gave her a smile.. she SMILED* back
hahs.. i siao de lurhs..
if the matter is non of my business OR*
if the matter wasnt serious..
I DUN GIVE A DAMN TO IT DE !
muwahhash!
must learn ' TOLERANCE ' (:
thn while workin MR WEE* came and gave me my roster fer next week..
and i can tell you..
NEXT WEEK IS SO BORING!!!
my timing wif other frends are DIFFERENT* !!!
kinda SAD*
but well nvm!! hehehs!

one more IMPORTANT* thing ar..
i THOUGHT* today i will break the record of
' NOT GETTIN SCOLDED BY S* '
but wen it was around 2 i think, SHE* camr fer work..
and scolded me lurhs..
actually is not scold lurhs.. is TALKING LOUDER* lurhs..
but i will still treat it as SCOLD *
ahahas.. sians!
almost everyday i will get to hear her scolding .. -.-

wen i was about to go home..
time mus seems to be sooooo slow lurhs...
busy.. but it was only 330 -.-
thn... ALVIN* jiu suggest that we play a game..
see whu reaches home and be ONLINE* first..
but in the END*
I WON!!!
lols... ! -.-
ahahs.. he gave reason that he counldnt get online jus now.. hahas!
is that true?
lols!
jking !

anyways.. jus got home from my new HOUSE*
the floor was sooooooo NICE*
wood de wor!
ahahs!
so nice lurhs.. suddenly hav the urge to stay in there ASAP*
ahahs!
but there's still 2 weeks..
hahas..
was on the way back in DADDY'S* car.. thn my MUM* suddenly saw SOMETHING* struggling on the roadside..
hais.. thn i was like.. OMG*
i wan get down to help sia.. hais..
but too LATE* liaos..
hais.. so pity it lurhs..
SOMETIMES* i jus think LIFE* isnt fair fer wild / stray animals..
fer example ar...
if* someone got into an accident..
jus a call and AMBULANCE* will be rite there..
but fer stray animals..
whu can help them?
NO ONE!*
i jus feel so sad fer them..
THESE* pityful animals.. THEY HAV A LIFE TOO!
last year.. wen i heard that people are treating CATS* like SHIT*
i really hav the URGE* to KILL* that IDOIT*
AGRH*!

*
i jus what to say ar PEOPLE* !
BE KINDA TO ANIMALS!
THEY HAV A LIFE TOO..
DO HAV A HEART!
THINK BEFORE YOU* ACT!
DUN DO CRUELITY.. ITS A SIN!
u mus be GREATFUL GOD MAKE U A HUMAN!
BE WISE IN EVERY MOVES U MAKE!
*

thanks GOD* (:

FREAKED OUT

2007-03-15T10:39:00.000-07:00

FRIDAY [ 16.03.07 ]

This few days , things jus dun go my way.
i jus dun understand why. but seems like , luck is turing away to another direction..
hais..
having a crush on someone jus makes me feel sick and tired.
wanting him but SOMETHING* is blocking me .
sad songs , happy song. ALL! jus dun cheer me up...
i am very MISREABLE! TOTALLTY!
hais..
but this isnt the time to talk about love...
ve' been workin in ikea fer around a week.
happy things are makinq alot of frends in there.
sad things are , aunties like HER*A and S ,
makin my day more and more MISREABLE!
been tolerating fer days after days..
but things jus dun get better..
i tok to them nicely and wif a cheerful manner.. but
they are climbing their way up my head..
gettin me look more like a I*
but what can i do?
i am new there.. many things are ahead fer. me to learn!
sometimes i also cant describe how i feels...

today , in the late afternoon , wen i was having my bath, i got a call from MR WEE*
he was expecting me .. but i didnt turned up.
and asked me why..
i answered him that i was havin a OFF DAY* today..
he didnt believe and ordered me to check my roster again..
and so i did..
told him i hav OFF DAYS on TUE and THURS
while on pone , i can hear MR MICHAEL beside him ,
i heard him say in HOCKIEAN ' Aiya fergot give her the new roster list. '
then MR WEE* replied ,
but u are suppose to work today leis.
thn once again i told him i wasnt havin work today!
and asked me if i am workin tml and what time i am suppose to report there..
and so i told him..
he then say..
ok tml 11 see u here.
but he sound kinda ANGRY...
so i am so scared fer work tml...
my mind jus FREAKED OUT*!
hais..
what am i to do?
isit my fault fer being so stubborn and slow .. where others already got informed to the changes of the roster ?
or isit i am always the last to know everything?
what am i to do?
i am so scared the happenings tml! hais!!

well.. lets talk abt some thing happier bas...
today i went back to take back my medical report from SATA*
and i think , I AM IN!!
i jus dun understand the word PURSUE*
lols!
i am physical and mentally FIT* to get into this course!
so happy , also lookin upon fer the start of the sch (:
hope everthing will be fine after so much probs blocking my way to the shinning stars (:
after that, i also decided to ask PRISCILLA* out fer dinner..
hahs..
kinda sian bcos cosway is so damn sian lurhs !
we talked abt KIM* whu was lost fer 2 years ,
come back to spore !
but she smile and says.. *-------
after that this reminds her of MEIFONG*
sayin her result wasnt good fer the 0's..
i was shocked then..
she got 28 points wen i thought she has lesser..
was very shocked..
so i smsed her asked if its true..
and it WAS!!
OMG!
hais...
0's SCIENCE* and MATHS* are KILLERS*!
but what to do?
LIFE* 's like this..

*
WELL..
just hope tml will be a BETTER* day..
hope everythings goes FINE* fer me..
[ PRAYS ! ]
*

love you GOD! (: