ii LOVE Abstract =)

Saturday, December 15, 2007

OMG!
CAN U IMAGINE A GIRL WHO REJECTS A GUY AT FIRST WENT TO CONFESS BACK TO HIM AGAIN?
i am so damn stupid lurhs.. dunno why the hell i went to tell him i like him.
oh gosh.. this time really ps liaos..
hais
he said ' i really dunno what u wan , first ask me be ur kor now say u like me , i very confused .. jus continue as normal los.. let nature take its course bah.. good nite sleep tite..'
from here i can see , he dun really wanna hav a relationship with me ler.
but well nvm lurhs.. its alrite..
i dun intend to get married also what ..
buahahahas!

anyways...
today was the first day at work , i did foot massage for 2 ladies..
the first was quite ok.. i did mask for slimming for her followed by foot massage.. hmmm quite ok.. she din say much only said i din use enff strength..
the second was.. quite demanding..
i did a foot massage as told . and i did. 15 mins for a foot.
but she said they charged her 1 hr treatment.. and asked me to do more.. she find excuses like , ' can u help me massage more here and here , quite tired lurhs.. '
thn do los..
i told u , i really did a 1 hr massage ok..
i anyhow do for her cos sch haben even teach me those step. so anyhow los..
hahahs. but at least she enjoy. thn ok los..
hahhas. she comment that my massage was good jus that i din set the time well..
ok thanks for the feedback!

i will jia u de!

My world my life

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

sowie to post so late..
this happened on last saturday 8dec.

not gonna say much.. jus look at the potos can? (:

this is wen we arrived at the ESCAPE.

cathi said to take poto as a memory (:

then we went in to play of cos!

while we were waiting for the two kids playing the water game.. ' wild n wet '

we took more potos (:

my sis wanted to play the other water game . as i need to take kare of them..

i joined them.

here , i almost kick up a fight with 5 kiddos. keep saying we cut their queue.

they got it wrong. it was the other 2 malaysian kids who needs to rush back to malaysia and their mum asked if we could let them go first. at first i was a straight no.

but they rushing back , i said ok..

but whu knows, the malay girls behind us , go off. behind them was the 5 kiddos..

they kept saying all that shit.. ok i gave chance. i ignored..and went to play the game..

thn after the game , wen the staff asked to come back , my cousin was still stuck on the water.

and that fatso from the group said ' she think she princess ar '

this , i got my anger. and i stared at him and rolled eyes on him.

i know this is kinda childish.. but , u can scold me , but dun ever scold my family.

thn that fatso went to tell this skinny idoitic girl . and she came and looked at me. yes of cos , i stared back.. she jus kept staring back. well i stared back of cos!

hahas.. thn after the game , we went to rainbow , they still playing.. wen we came off, the also jus finished . they jus walk past me but din stare anymore . cos i think she tot at first i only 3 person , but they din see cathi and her frend.. so the jus pretend they din see me. (:

peace pple! eat peach (:

after all the games , we got hungry..

went to mac for lunch..

the two kids was like.. hahas. damn funny lurhs..

at mac, everyone was very quiet. so i started to crack some jokes..

and yes. my sis , was too full and at that moment , she even wanted to vomit. -.-

scary..

after mac, we saw this very ke ai de so called ' FAIRYTALE LAND '

so wen went to took some potos.

cute isnt it?

we went back to ESCAPE after that ..

played till close..

and yes , my sis won a big big big big dolphin and i had to carry for her from east coast back to sembawang.. by BUS!

omg.. can u imagine how tough it was when pple looking at u and say ..

' SEE ! SO BIGGGGGGGGGGGG~ '

i got stressed ok!

but no matter what ,

those two had fun . so as for me (:

GREAT DAY!

My world my life

Thursday, December 06, 2007

sowie past 2 days was like hmm... moodswing los.
tue nite went to watch movie. tatootist. with that garrel..
hmm was quite lame lurhs the movie..
wed nite went to work and got sacked..
in the morning went for interview at yvon's aunt spa salon..
and i got EMPLOYED!
but it will be quite stress there. and i am quite looking forword for it and also kinda scared of it los. cos its like .. first time working at a dream spa..
i really thank god !! woot!

jus now the garrel was like..
' oh got one chio bu standing next to me , should i go and take number from her.. '
thn i said can , go los.
thn he was like ' i was not asking for ur permission.. jus asking for ur opinion. '
thn i was like .. go lurhs .. i din say anythg , u wan go los.. ask me for what..
thn suddenly he says . ' ok los. i msg u later ok . i need time to go msg her and know her better '
thn i was like .. whateva...
thn now he says i was jus kidding..

go fuck shit lurhs.
guys are just jerk.. plain idotic jerk.
flirt and flirt..
onl go for chiobu-s.
lols..
' looks are only a layer of skin alrite '
kns. agrh

My world my life

Saturday, December 01, 2007

yday finally went to sch.
and i hav decided not to quit school already.. thanks to tina and von..
love u guys.. i really do.
and thanks Miss Soh too. she's really sweet. she sent me msgs , encouraging me not to fall.
and even if someone look down on u , dun ook down on urself.

well yday sooooo happy los. i enjoyed my day out..
went home around 2 am los.
hahas.
ok, after school went out with mum to clark quey ,go find job.
but in the end nth los.. out of 10 shops , only 2 want pple. but ... FULL TIME.
well nvm los.. thn we sat out ,beside the river.. tot of the memories with those pples..
thn i asked how's life with her bf..
thn tok los..
we even played lame game..
HEI BAI PEI!
hahahs..
thn ok.. before the game .. got one shy guy came to us , ask to do survey .. lols.!
thn joke with him also los.. so cute los the guy.. my type ok!
hehehs..

after which i went to meet shu hui.
she's late again. everytime meet her also same de los. kns!
ok, thn we went to eat mac at bugis .. that place where i lost my darling.
hmmm thn she treat me eat fries as i din hav enff money los..
thn as we ate. we toked about her story los..
yday really alot of story to hear los.. hahas.
((:
ok i am bad cos i din go work..
all garrel's fault los..
hahas..

okok . after that as i need to walk another one and a half hours for garrel.. i went to the nearby library..
there 's alot of art books los.. i really love that place ok.!
but i cant find the one that i really like..
ok. thn i went to meet him at bugis there. thn he late los..
first time meet also late .. really ar.. hais los.!
thn ok lurhs.. her hair's scary like what my bro described..
thn ok we went to find a place to eat..
u know what as we are going towards terra , i saw one of the ' b '
so sway los... she saw me thn she was toking very loud , also what she toking.. i chose to ignore los..
such lame pple also hab.. pple nowadays are getting weirder..
hmmm thn went to terra , he ate nia ok.. cos i dun wanna use his money also..
he keep saying the thgs there not his wei kuo.. he very picky de los.. thn as he eats , he tell me his story .. saying his father is a chef , blah blah blah.. thn like keep picking on me los.. as in jokin that kind los.. lols... really buay tahan him..
thn after we eating , we went to bugis tt shoppingcenter to walk. thn i say ,
' aiyah i dun like bugis , got alot of pple i will bump to de.. all those pple los .. agrh '
he says.
' if u see one more time , u tell me , we confirm change place. '
thn i was like.. DIAO!
yun dao .. ok lurhs we walk there like sian los.. no where to go also..
thn i realised bugis changed alot ..
ok. thn we came to the neoprint shop.. he pulled me in.. its like.. shocked to see a guy , wanna take neoprint de los .. somemore he is zhu dong ask me go take de los.. hahas..
okok but we din take . cos ps los.. somemore it like u know .. i dun even know him los.. he keep want want want . thn sa is for memory. hahas.
but now i know why..
thn before we go to bishan , we walked pass a wallet shop. thn he put his hand on my shoulder like turn me around. thn i ask him wht. thn he sy buy wallet for me. thn i was like .. noooo!
he force me in los.. but in the end i say i dun wan wallet , i wan psp..
he say , woah.. hahas!!
thn he say , u wan play i lend u lurhs..
thn we walked around till. we decided to go find my bro at bishan.. but he's not there.
i tell you.. while on met to bishan, he changed le los..
he keep standing very close to me .. thn like jus very close to me lurhs..
somemore wen we reach there he stand behind me very near thn put his his hand over my shoulder to the wall.
somemore he holds my face and put it near to his face . meaning close , face to face very near..
thn we decided to watch movie.. his treat los..
waitwaitwait. i saw huitong (:
ok in the cinema.. we watched enchanted.. so happy and the chipmunk is cute (:
it was very cold inside los.. thn i used my uniform to cover me.. thn he too kind le. he held my hand ok!
omg.. hand cnnt anyhow let pple hold de.. heng got message , thn he let go of m hand..
hais..
say no feel is fake lurhs.. but i think he wont fall for me also de lurhs.. haha..
fat hope nia.. ahhas!

My world my life

Thursday, November 29, 2007

sometimes , i really envy my mum.
she give up everythg to us.
example is , she use her money , whcih she intending to get her hair reborned but she say , my sis going need sch , so a grown up already . so i let her do instead.
and think back . wen we were still young , she give us all the fleshy parts of a chicken , and she ate the bone ..
and my father, worked very hard , dun wan us to suffer. wen we needed him , he sure is there to support.
for example , wen i broke off with justin that time , he smsed me a joke .and it made me smile.
and now , recently , had some more misunderstands with those pple. he also tried to help me.. i really am great and i thank god for giving me such a good gift.
this christmas , i hope i hav the time to celebrate with them.. (: i wan to make this xmas a great one.. (: best , memorable one !

jus now rosanne mama called me .. thn we chatted a lil. toking abt that freaky old place again
and tml we are going to find jobb!!
hehehes!
cos i know i cant stay long in that telemarketing place any longer ler..
no sales. no nothing..
but nvm .. now hav 1 pending. hope mr chua can get the sales for me .. its ok if its c1 . at least i got sales can ler. !

abt school , i am giving myself another 1 week . if everythg is still fine thn i will stay .
if its still like now , sorry to say byebye to this course.
although i relly love this couse and love to stay.. but with this kins environment , sad to say , i cant concentrate.. i jus cant..
i hope everythg will be fine soon

and my lovely wallet.. please come back to mama.. i really miss u.. and those things inside..
i dun wanna lose it de. i am so sorry to lose u...

and i am going to concelling session soon. getting myself one ..
cos if i dun go , soon i will get depression..
so , please pple, stop giving me stress... i need a rest.
a good rest..!

. SUNSHINE AFTER RAIN .

My world my life

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

my 3 years wallet , 3 years poto. bank card and life long ic , all gone in jus a wink.
i dun remember clearly where i put my wallet after buying mac
and shuhui was there keep sayin about her trip at the chalet. and yah , we keep laughing and joking around..
thn wen i was back home , i realised my wallet was gone .
what happened to me ?
even such important stuff , i can jus lose it..
and those fucking bitch.. what do they really wan?
i wanna quit school already..
i cant stand it anymore..
i jus wanna sleep foreva..
i dun wanna see anyone anymore.
but if i quit , my future will be gone..
what am i to do?

ps : thanks mum and dad for accompany me go around the place to look for it ..
i love u all.
and really hope that person who found my wallet , please return back to me , its ok to take the money inside. i jus wan those stuff back and the wallet. money its ok... jus give me back my wallet ..
GOD *.. i need your assitant ..

My world my life

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

hais.. damn sian. i jus made a very stupid mistake , i wrote a nick , forgot to block xuelin from msn and i think she saw it and imagine if she onlines using school's comp. what do you think she will do? of cos is online lirhs and show it to those bitches!! fuk mans.. i am so damn stupid!!

and i am still bothered by those ah lians stuff los..
its like .. i din do anythg to them already .. and also tried to avoid them as much as possible already.. thn what else ou pple wan me to do?
quit school? or go commit sucide?
i dun understand .. out of no where u all wanna find trouble again.
what's wrong!
tell me lurhs..
why suddenly ask another outsider and join in jus to whack me?
whacking me is so fun?
i dun wanna be the number 2 pearlynn
u think i am that fuckin free to play with you kiddos?
u know what although i am kinda scared but , if out of a sudden u say u wanna whack me for no reason .. jus 3 numbers will do.. and dun think i dare not call..
luckily i hav mum to help me stress out a lil.
i dun wan my parents to worry abt me again..
i am so fucking childish isnt it?
whats wrong with the world today?
why is everythg so cropped up?
can i jus grad faster?
everyday fearing of having lunch alone..
and this bothers me and lead me not going school so often anymore..
i used to love sch so so much..
now its becoming more and more like a jail to me..
what shld i do?
i am so damn tired of life..
and tired of seeing pple like them .!
what can i do...
god please help me..
i really really dun wish this to go on anymore...!!!

My world my life

Monday, November 26, 2007

are u aware of the news of the five pple who died in the cambonia?
the five dragon-boat-ers.
i bought the NEWPAPER to know more about their news . i watch news to understand whats going on..
i felt sad as i read their story ..
my tears rolled down my cheeks ..
its really a waste that they just lost their life just like this ..
if they had life jackets on , they would me at least a chance more for them to be alive..
but its all too late , i really felt sad for the family and for them as well.
after i read the article , i told my mum ..
' ma , think shi jie muo re [ world is ending ] coming ler .. hais..'
why mus pple die?

REST IN PEACE , THE FIVE STRONG ONCES <3
may god bless

and i think , since its so , i cant die jus like tt , i mus live my life even better .
anyways..
read kor's chat log to that bitch .
it goes like this ,
the suddenly ask if my bro has a sister..
thn my bro din answer , but she keep forcing my bro to ans.
and so my bro say no..
ok..
today , it worte somethg , confidencial . thn suddenly she attitude to my bro saying ,
' do i hav to report you for everthg? '
thn my bro say no need lurhs..
thn she says bye . thn she says
' jus to let you know , your sis will be in trouble , i'll find her '
this really brings me a lil fear ..
and i cried again..
why isnt there any end to this stupid small matter?.
childish are childish..
dun understand why outsiders wanna join in the fun..
first is the frendster , now is a bitch looking out for me . and what's next ?
asking police to force me out of this country?
how lame can people be nowadays?
dun understand pple'e thinking already ..
i am so numb as to myself..
i dun understand myself as well.. i feel so tired of everythg..
why jus cant this matter drop?
when can i jus grad ?
can 8 more mnths pass faster?.........

My world my life

Sunday, November 25, 2007

i really i was dead now ,
leaving all those unhappyness and this stupid complicated world.
i dun understand why i became like this today.
i notice the change in me ..
i feel nth at all now ..
i used to be a very look-upon- tml tat kinda person..
now , i jus hate wen day is gonna end ..
i hate my sch , i hate my school mates , i hate studying..
cos of u pple , i really hate all that i used to love alot.
my wish of getting into a good spa and work there , hav vanish..
i feel so reckless now , i feel nth to anythg anymore..
i feel so much like crying now ..
what happen to me lately?..
a super sudden mood swing..
what happen to my attitude as well?..
i used to love studying so so much ...
now i jus feel this course is so damn dead ..
in sch , i hav lunch alone . last time i used to hav it with so many pple ,
now i study alone , tok 2 myself ...
projects ? alone as well..
what am i suppose to do?...
i did the same old stupid thg again..
cut and more cuts ..
i feel so stress..
i wish i wont wake wen i sleep ...
die in my sleep...
its better thn lookin at thgs i dun wanna see..
can god jus bring me to his side?
i dun wanna live anymore...
this life is so such in a war... i dun wanna live my life this way..
i wanna change , i wanna leave this place ...
i tried to be happy , i tried to ignore thgs they did , i avoid listening to the thgs they say , but , whats the use?..
i am so tired of what i am now..
in such a state ...
from pri 5 , everythg jus changes..
my frends dun like me , getting into quarrels , getting parents to go down sch and tok 2 teachers and ask the kids to stop disturbing me , going home with tears ....
i am so sick of this life...
i wanna end it soon..
i wanna end everythg soon...
i dun wanan plak back those things again...
i jus wanna close my eyes , and nv wake..
i jus wanna die right now........

My world my life

Saturday, November 24, 2007

finally gave back that freaky uniform to that freaky place..
those freaky pple with freaky attitude.
well today was jus a fun day afterall.
but sad thg is , shafawi kena sacked by the boss.
last week was yana , sheqyn and ifa.. left me all alone here.
will i be one of them in the black list as well?
but thanks mr lim for signing up the plan for me..
a last min subscription . i was freaking out wen he suddenly say he dun wan to sign up.
cos i was like kept toking to him for the whole afternoon..
thn heng got shuhui whom help me persude the customer to buy.. so gladful to her..
really lucky enff los. and also.. i pray hard that i get a sales again..
and i thank god for helpin me too!

went out with cathi , alvin and his gay frend .
jus for a while , but we had laugh , cheers and so on.
i din eat much today , was on a budget. hmmm
dun really like his frend , and also dun really like pple with tattoo and like , look so beng wen he's not.
not say i dun like him.. jus dun hav a good impression of him..
well although i like beng kias but he certainly not the type ba. hahas
i think too far ler. pls dun misunderstand..

sometimes i think back , ' am i the one whu made daddy and mummy suffer cos we closed down the shop? '
i think i was the reason whyy customer became fewer and fewer ...
wen i think back , my attitude really stinks like shit..
recently got quite sad over some stuff , keep tearin wen i think abt it .
jus now i even went to the toilet and cried.. db saw somethg was wrong with me , and asked me what happened. well i am ok.. jus that mayb i am jus too tired thinking abt stuff and cos of work ba..
db still am the one whu knows me the best!
i love dbdbdbdbdbdbdbdbdb!

jonathan jus sucks ok?
wishing him happy bday in advance he went offline after tt. cos i told him i might not see u online on ur bday so i wanna wish him in advance , he went offline..
and my msn nick now is , ' guys jus sucks .! especially YOU! . '
somehow i said i hate him .. but think and think , i still like him a lil..
jus a lil! tiny lil lil lil lil percent..
sometimes i think , my face expression jus like , not really true abt me..
wen i sun smile i look chao fierce..
hais.. and also jus now we went out with alvin and his frend , wen they abt to leave , they said bye . but i din even say bye to them back..
so attitude..
somehow i think i wont get a bf or even get married.
hahas.

now probs keep coming...
and i feel so much dead thn alive ..
i wish this is jus a dream .. wake me up pple!
i wanna leave this freakin place with freaky hard solve probs.!
i hope m face will become in better condition..

anyways jus called wenwei.. another attitude freaky guy..
asked if he can tok on pone , he said not now. ok.. nvm
thn he said sowie .. thn i say nvm..
then i say byebye , he jus put down pone.
what's this?
lols. nvm..
look ahead ! i hate u !

xmas is coming .!
cheers pple , CHEERS!
xD

My world my life

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

21.11.07
2356pm

if today i still with justin . its our 3rd aniversary.. so like huai nian lurhs.. so long liaos los..
and its ending in 3 mins time. time really pass so fast..
eh well. nvm since he got what he wants already .. and i haben .. so what keep thinking back?
lols! boringgg~
anyways.. today at work , so happy lurhs.. last min i got 1 sales! so happy! i keep praying to god today ..
' please please god , i need a sales.. jus 1 sales will be enff !! '
and yes! SHE* grant me !
i was like.. omg! yesh!
this customer is called mrs kong.
i contacted her since last fri and yday i tried to ask her again.. so i called her.. and she said she needs to ask her husband again.. so ok i said i call u back tml same time tml? she said ok..
but ... yday was a indian lady whu speck for me.. so i really mus thank her.. and also the one whu helped me , also a lady.. a chi lady.. ahas! see her mus thank them !
but i really mus pray for yana and sheqyn . i dun wan them to be kicked out ar!
jiayoujiayous!

lex was crazy again. saying wan go after me. how lame rite?
all see my pic. fall for my pic. its like.. excuse me! m pic is like sooooooooooo diff from how i look in reallife.. -.-
and wenwei too. 2 days no contact .. but well nvm field camp is u know lurhs. hahas!

and its like .. i soso miss him lurhs.. dunno why lurhs jus think that my luck has come back to me again? or isit its jus pong qiao? hahas well.. what eva it is.. i am glad that these pple are around wen i really need a helping hand (:

next thing..
today while i was on my way home .. from sch..
ok.. LAVANDER..
i saw samantha, one of justin's e gf.. lols. she was with her bf..
its like so qiao that ... i saw celester the one whu bullied me wen i was in sec 1. jus near my hus , while i was going to work los. she was like pretending not to see me lurhs.. she looked down at my shorts .. cos i was wearing a short shorts -.-''
whateva lurhs.. jus qiao that cos today me and justin ' supposely ' 3 years , i saw samantha..
was like shocked cos i was like day dreaming . thn saw her bf..
' oie , how come this guy like i see bf in frendster ar? .. ' thn i think again ' beside one also like weird weird de.. keep looking at me.. ' thn..
DING***
SAMANTHA
hahas... lame .!
well today really hen you yuan los

but daddy and mummy.
sowie i shouted at u jus now.. cos i tired ler.. thn i dun really feel like myself lurhs..
so sowie..!

tml got prac. dunno whu would partner me again.
i really hate prac now.. cos of them lurhs..
now lunch alone ler. prac also alone .. how to learn?
bcos of u pple , i am like tt today.
and stop puting everythg into my fault. cos u hav ur wrongs too..
dun ever put ur wrong to mine cos u are too shameful of ur doing m u push the blame on the others..
please growwww up! KIDDOS!

and also. i really hate to lend pple books.
i 6 days din go sch ler.. 6days u cant finish writting all those notes?..
or is it u lend it to those bbbbbbb..?
up to u ba.. jus dun DIRTY my book..
sometimes i think , why should i lend u my thgs wen u dun hav the responsibility to come to class and in the end u need pple's book to copy?
sometimes i really angry with myself cos ..
i treat u as my frend . yet , u treat me like ur maid..
well so be it ba..
u will hav ur chance to taste this as well..
jus wait ba..
i wont play with kiddos. and why should i entertain u by keep diao here diao there..
i dun care mans!
wahahhas!

nites
1212am

My world my life

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

nowadays i dun understand why pple jus change their attitude wen they are like... proud of somethg.
jus bcos they become so called ' famous ' they tend to look down on those whu aint that ' famous '
well.. today hav the public specking for the bl..
couch jay was so funny i jus couldnt help it but LAUGH!
hmm ok lurhs.. jus very cold inside los.
well after that , i went to bugis for my job training. but before that i smsed e saying i cant work for them ler and leaving toyrus.
thn he replied..
' one week notice '
u think u what ar? M so? big F?
i am soooooooooooooooo f about ur attitude , seeing ur face everytime , mus see ur mood , i rarely see u smile ok!
agrh.
but well.. i wont go back , and if u dun give my pay ..
HEHEHE!

ok.. during bl thingy , angeline was with me also.. and she told me ab
LY. angeline said she keep rolling eyes on me. its like.. i replied angeline..
' she diao me cos i pretty ma then she jealous so she not happy los '
wahahas! thn she was like . ' HA '
lols.. well think positively ma.. if i keep thinking at the wrong side of life , thn my life will be wrong.
lols!
and also that day i saw a poster saying ..
' jin tian gong zhuo bu nu li , ming tian nu li zhao gong zhuo '
meaning ,' if today you dun work hard , tml u work hard in finding job '
get what i mean?
lols.
well , failing or falling is a part and parcel of our life . so think it in a very positive way like ... making it as a joke or what to encourage urself and stand tall again.
i might not be a good girl in the past , but as i think back , i really hav to change this bad habit of think abt the ' impossible ' and also the ' not happening ' meaning i always think this will happen but then , it din . jus that i think too much liaos..
well. if she carry on diao-ing me . let it be , she is jus toooooooo jealous (:
i am unique aint i?
wahahs!

and also.. i really hope my face can be PIMPLE-FREE!!!!
hais..
stress lurhs..
well strive for work .. earn more money!
HIPPPPHIPPPP- HURRRRRRRRRRRYYYY.. ت

My world my life

Sunday, November 04, 2007

4.11.07
4.47pm

so bored at home..! so i decided to blog . althought dun hav the feeling to..
hais.

somehow questions and thinking popped out of my head.
who dont wan to be love?
who dont wish to be love?
who dont wish to love someone?

this question keep popping out somehow..
yday during work , i feel so sad, kept thinking about him..
somehow i feel so stupid and regret.
why i acted that way and why my attitude doesnt change ever since justin left me..
i dont learnt. not a lil.. [ while typing , the him' onlines ]
so upset with myself..
[ he offline ]

- working sucks yday -

ok.. cut short..
wen closing.. pw came to work cos of her bb. she saw me and say
' jinwen , i wrote something for u u got see not? . u go exit and read. '
so i did.. and it wrote..
' JOAN ,please dun ask ur cashier to help u take big ticket for you . GET IT YOURSELF!! [ with two lines below the ' yourself ' ] '
and also the things she wrote there is about exit stuff. i am cashier but she asked me to do all those not my department thingys ..
thn i was like. what the...
shili was beside me also.. thn i ask her..
ok thn i saw pw walking pass the cashier. so i asked her to come . and i asked her what the ' yourself ' means.
she said staff there saw me asking the cashiers to help me do work. which i din at all.. i was like total fuck up with her.. ok , i said no, i didn.. thn she keep insisting i did. i said no again. thn she say , i dunno ar. go see cctv los...
thn i was like sayign to shi li. what the fuck los.. why she give me attitude again.. so fuck los..
thn i say .. ok los she wanna play rough thn i shall play with her..
thn i need to count down . so i went to tower. she wasnt in .. but a lil while more she came in..
thn i ignored her..ok.. cut short..
the last customer was kinda ma fan . and made me blur.. thn i was like.. shortage of money becos of this. thn i was like very stressed up liaos ma.. thn sl also very stressed up. i stress bcos i dunno really remember what the customer used to pay for her things.. thn i remembered.. she use visa. and cos there's promotion for members, i hav to deduct the amt of money from her previous pay , so it was 10 dollars. and how stupid i was, i gave the 10 dollars with CASH! and not deducting from her card.! omg..
thn pw was saying .. now i know why sl wan her to count down last, cos i problem ma..
lols! i keep thinking ar. why her bf will like her.. omg!
cant understand pple nowadays ! omg i so bad.!
aiyar.. since she really wan it this way , dun say i bad ler..
((:

My world my life

Friday, October 19, 2007

- nowaday's prob abt me and the others -

hais..
sometimes jus dun understand what pple are thinking.
today they may treat u nice , tml , nasty.
what's wrong?. jus bcos i dun look as good as u ?
or smell as nice as u?
ya. i know my prob , attitude , negative thinking , and .. tok without even thinking..
words may hurt others , and urself..
agree?. some words might seems to be a joke to u . some may jus hurt pple around , without u knowing it.
thats what i so called discover and made by mistake.
now m and l are both unhappy with me. and i knew it..
soon , the whole group will hate me , curse me and make a shit out of m life.
ok.. let me explain this by sayin what really happen..

✖pls dun fall asleep (:✖

- happenings -

ok. first thg first.. on the day of chalet itself, i was like askin l a question , first , she din answer, thn i asked again , no answer again. so i gave up . thn wen i see both she and j wasnt tokin, i ask again with a louder voice. thn she ans me.. from there i understand 1 thg , somethg was really wrong..
ok . so i said nth . i acted like nth happened also.. thn we reached the chalet. i mean inside. we were sitting ouside , at the bbq area. thn we saw miss soh. so we chatted. and i smsed angeline whu was inside the roon den . asked her out.. she came out of cos.. thn she went towards l they all. instead of saying hi to me , she treated me like invincible. so i was ok.. nvm...thn she brought them to the room.. without asking me along.. only sharon asked me in.. ok. this was fine. but miss soh saw me sitting at a corner alone, she came to me , asked me what happened.. i wasnt wanted to cry at first .. but wen she looked into my eyes , knowing that i wasnt fine , actaully she knows everythg jus by lookin at my eyes. she says , my eyes cant lie. so i started to cry.. i know it may seems childish. but from pri sch , i dun hav the fate to hav frends. cos of my attitude. or jus that i jus dun hab the fate los.. hmmm. * ahem * so i told her everythg , she really tok sense into me los.. but i cant help but cry lurhs.. thn she gave me 2 piece of tissue to wipe my tears , not wantin me to let them see that i cried. oh ya . and also a nugg to cheer me up. ok.. so.. they came back to the pit. thn this time , angeline saw me.. thn said hi , thn tok 2 me, was glad lurhs.. hmm thn the malay girls in my class arrived, bring the food in so that we can cook and eat ler.. thank god .. but i din eat much also.. cos i was kinda emo .

- cooking time -

ok. so i helped to cook los.. ok first i was wantin to help miss soh cook de. so i took the tong? lols dunno how to spell. hmm thn bbq the chickenwings los.. thn m2 came an jus say she wanna help out also , jus grap m tong los.. thn i was like .. ' what the '.... but well nvm.. so i went to take a plate and like fan so it get cooked faster ma.. so i fan los..
whu knows, the say very smokey.. ok.. first thg first.. they asked me to fan de. now the say smokey.. so nvm also..
ok i stop fanning awhile , now i fan again .. thn not to their direction.. thn m2 scold me ' jinwen , dun fan liaos lurhs.. told u smoke liaos.. u wan u fan urself .... ' ok this really made me mad.. so i decided to leave earlier. kinda du lan also liaos.. ok.. so i told miss soh i leaving .. she asked .. ' why ' .
I ' cos tml working '
MS ' orh ok . u wait awhile i also leaving at 7 plus, need to fetch my daughter for tution '
I ' orhs '

so i helped out again . m2 went to eat , so i took over . cos only angeline cooking it ma.. so help los.. but ar.. tell u , it was really fun lurhs. jus tink she is a great leader with good knowledge. everythg also know.. she even got praised by sessionhead and other teachers that her skilss of cookin was good. hahas. good ma like that. well. time pass.. i hav to go. so i said goodbye to everyone , BUT! before i go , i ate 4 nuggs . hahas.. was kinda hungry lurhs.. so ate somethg b4 i go los..

- leaving the chalet -

on the way back , miss soh told me alot of thgs.. first thg is the unhappiness abt the other teachers.. - i wont say it here. as i promised her not to lers - and also , the main purpose of opening a chalet. - farewell for miss ng - kinda miss her now.. though i dun really like her lurhs..
hmmm.. was ver shockin upon hearing this news.. miss soh was kind enff to ask her husband to drive me to the nearest mrt station to take the train home and not wanting me to take bus alone as its kinda late and dangerous alone. i really thank god i have her as my ' GUARDIAN ANGEL ' really. someone whu u can relie on wen u needed , a listening ear and a helping hand. she's always there for me.. although she is my teacher. but to her , we are her kids. ((: hmm ok.. so i waved goodbye to them and went home.

- on the way on train -

on my way home. angel called me.. askin me why i left so early . so i told her los..
and scolded her why she came so late . she was the one whu asked me go de. .now she late herself.. so damn idoit hor? lols. but nvm lurhs.. at least now i get to see her in sch. am very glad to see her coming to sch , attendin every lesson now.. ((: ok thn i recieved a call from my ex. not that fcuking jon lurhs.. hmm thn tok abt job again... keep askin him join us. thn keep like wait wait wait.. pls , i dun hav the whole day for u lurh.. till the day wen u wan the job , pple dun wan hire ler thn blame me.. hais.. dunno what's wrong wif pple nowadays also lurhs..

- wed, yday and today's happenings -

lets tok abt wed first. ok! it was my first day of sch , din go sch on mon , too tired . tue , day off. so wed . the atmosphere was fine .. but somehow , still somethg wrong somewhere . i came to class first . cos i din wanna be late for lesson as i reached sch at 850 amm , thn tie m hair finish , 901 . thn i was like . OMG! runnnnn.. thn i open the door , i saw the teacher , not same , din see b4 , i said sowie , i walked out .. thn my chairman , shouted ' JINWENNNNNNNN! ' thn i was like , looking outside , ' whu call me sia ' . thn i turn back into the class room , PAI SEH LURHS! hahahas. can u imagine that? lols..
ok.. thn settle down . 10 mins later thn they came . but i was sitting infront . with shuting and sharon. we joked los.. thn i turned behind , looked at l thn i put a sign of like ' gonna kill u alive ' ok this action goes ... ok . show me a good sign.. thumbs up lurhs! ok thn i like place at my neck there . move it slowly from left to rite.. got it ma? thn she was like .. abnormal.. she jus smile so faked de smile.. thn i know .. this is really wrong....! ok nvm nvm.. so we went for next lesson . bodaymassage theory.. i jus sat beside angeline , veryyyyyy quiet.. ok. wen u realise , a very noisy person , suddenly becomes sooooo quiet , the first thg that u will think of is? .. ' rainning soon ' or ' omg , sun is gonna rise from the east! ' or even ' pig's gonna hav wings and fly free like birds ' wth... ok.. carry on. * ahem * angeline din tok 2 me either.. ok. l and j came sch on mon . and they hav got notes on some of the points . know what?.. she lent to angeline , and not me . wen i look at angeline's book , she stared at me . i mean j. ok nvmnvm... i dun wan it either.. k let this matter rest.
thn after sch , we went to eat. i was quiet also.. thn they say they wanna go tampines mall. but i din wanna go lurhs.. they din ask me to go also.. nono should say , they din tok to me also.. ok. skip this.. important point.. ok going to take bus... i pei angeline take 31 to the tanah merah mrt there. thn she recall that sharon wanted to take to bugis. but she already left.. so i run towards the overhead bridge . thn shouted ' sharon , u wan take here de bus ma? i going take green line also.. ' thn she was like thinking , thn m2 jiu like psyco her , ' dun wan lurhs.. come come . pei us better ' thn i was like thinking ' STFU can?! TMD ' ok .. i din say lurhs.. thn in the end, sharon kena her psyco los.. go with them .. thn i was like felt quite weird liaos.. thn i asked angeline , she said i think too much.. ok i did think too much.. but still thinking that somethg is sure wrong here. i think that she knew what's going on , jus that she dun wanna tell me.. and reading my previous post , i quarreled with my damn farking ex. thn i was sad ler. so i din think too much abt the frends thingy also.. instead . stress of my farking ex . so i asked rosanne to read my post . she gave her comment abt me ..

ROSANNE : impatient , always want ans immediately .
ANGELINE : attitude , temper
EELIN : grumblin abt others wy they not happy with me
JIEJIE : saying me shouting at her on that day we went to harbourfront. cos i was stress up with both parties that , m2's bf was very anti social and that the others cant stand it . and somemore arranged to hav dinner tgh . and scared things may turn out bad, quarrel in short. thn i was like . i asked her where she was , she say reaching , 20 mins later , ' where are u? ' reaching ler.! thn i say ' faster can not? ' thn she tot i was shouting at her..
SHARON : nth , jus that she thinks i need time to change
L and M2 : attitude , the way i tok , dun think b4 i tok , hurt pple's feelings , no respect .
MISS SOH : u are a sweet , helpful and caring girl , jus that sometimes wen u tok , u intent to hurt pple without u even noticing it. mayb a change might be good , and be more matured. think positively! jus do as what i say , sure u will be better.
FCUKIN JON : i think u should change ur attitude , getting bad to worst

ok.. no respect , i dun agree. cos i am elder thn them , they should respct me . ok respect has 2 kinds.. respect becos i am elder and also respect each other's so called rites. meaning no shooting to the heart. i also dunno lurhs.. ok. so thats my weak point los...
what do u think abt my attitude?. leave me a tag ok!

*** continue with thurs and fri soon (: .. ***

My world my life

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

- relationship and friendship issue -

it seems like , i dun hav the courage , the will and the strength to hold on any longer.
firstly , jon. well. i smsed him askin if we could get back tgh again.. nono.. i asked it this way..
' sowie to distur you again , only wanna ask a final question . do u think we still hav the chance? '
his reply was , ' why ask this silly girl? '
thn i replied ' no lurhs jus asking '
J ' oh , but i dun get what u mean leis. '
Mi ' isnt it clear enough ? '
J' oh , dun i dun understand leis. '
Mi ' oh thn nvm los. '
J ' oh ok . so how's sch today ? '
Mi ' hai hao lo '
J ' oh then taken lunch? '
Mi ' yup taken ler . you? '
J ' ya taken ler '
Mi ' then ok ba. about the previous message , i mean that i still like you and that i hope that we could be tgh again. tc ba '

after which , no reply from him .. till now.
but despite that , i smsed him 2 more .. look ahead.

' thn i ask another question . isit possible? '
no reply .
' suan le . dun wan to sms u nor i wanna see ur msg anymore ler. thanks '
thats all for now..
think this is clear enff to end our so called ' frendship ' as well ba.
i really buay tahab this kinda guys . u know why?. cos they dun even hav the courage to tell pple how the really feel. yup.. it might be mysterious to you. but to me .. its such a shi bai thing . cos. they are only tao bi from what they are doing. jus cant u tell the truth that u still like him or her. why do i hav those courage to tell u and not getting shy or what so ever? i know this is ur chara . but , those pple around u , might feel fustrated with u . u dunno it urself. so now i am tellin u . u can say i am stupid and childish to post this here and let everyone know what u are. but please. wake up! . i am not gonna wait. and dun think i cant live without you . and u know what , i will live my life better without you.
yes. A ask me to jus be patience and jus wait and see. but sowie . i waited too long . and i dun wanna continue getting so foolish and look like a fool.

suddenly THEIR attitude towards me is like . shit . i dunno what happened btwn them i mean , they might spout somethg behind my back and its like.. yup. i am so called a brainless person , i tok without even going through my head.. hahas. its like. so be it ba. since u all dun wanna look at me , tok 2 me or joke with me , its fine . this semester i mus do better thn u . i know it might be difficult. but i am sure i can do it. its kinda disappointing wen x result was better thn mine. and yes. was kinda angry with myself as pple whu din really study , did better thn me. bcos i studied like hell , and yet i got lower thn them . its like a knife stab in me. i dunno why suddenly i feel this way and also why they are treating me like a stranger now. i dunno why. ever since the chalet . i felt that , the bond , the string , about to broken. well . i mus do really well now. i mus do even better thn before. dun think cos ur results are better u can lead the way . look out . cos i will lead the way better thn u do. jus u wait ba. and yes. this post is to vent my anger to . so dun mind ar.!

and yes, he suddenly replied.
' what's wrong with you ? why u nv change ? cant u give me time to think? '
but i din reply.
all i hav to say is .
yes. nv will i change , why change for a person who he dun even care? what if i changed? would u treat me diff? i din change? what abt u? did u? did u change the way of expressing urself and the way u care for pple ? . no! time to think. haven i gave u enff time to even think? today suppose to be second month stupid enff to keep remembering this number. ya.. now i give u time to think . u hav the whole world's time to think . happy thinking then. no matter what.. i will nv sms u again so dun bother to even text me. thanks!

-----

5pm++

i was asleep . and wen i woke cos of the cold outside , i saw my message with two new message . by him. wasnt concerned msg . but raged message.

1st msg..

' i tot u hav changed. but ever since ur last msg ,i know u haven change . dun wan reply rite? fine..'

2nd msg..

' take a look at your last message i sent me . dun give me attitude '

sometimes my words can be harsh , but its becos of anger, jus why he cant understand?.

next ting i did was of cos reply..

' i admit i din change.. but i din give attitude. jus telling you sometimes its very fed up wen one cant read one's mind. its not about attitude , its abt patience .since that day wen u say u still like me i tot we have chance but , its only my wishful thinking. '

J replied :

' oh now my fault is it? i work already very tired and somemore get myself injured . u only think for yourself . give me attitude still wan argue .. well done '

i replied :

' no i din say its ur fault dun misunderstand can? its that sometimes you do somethg i really dun understand thats y i think negatively then lead to this '

J replied :

' but do u need to give me this attitude? '

i replied :

1 -' no. becos i was angry too thats why i nv think le jiu say.'

2- ' dun angry le lurhs. sowie for those words . you should understand how i felt too ba. reply me wen u ok le k . '

J replied :

' u should change ur attitude... getting from bad to worst... '

somehow i think i dint do anythg wrong. i dun understand what's going in his mind.. i kena scold for nothing. think its very shuang?. its so hurting.. i really think he isnt worth my heart... and think. he wasnt the one for me as well....

My world my life

Monday, October 15, 2007

161o07
1218pm

- relationship issue again -

keep waiting for my pone to ring today . wishing he would at least send me a message.
guess i jus hoping for a false hope ba. hahas. think back , how stupid i was to keep waiting.
he knew i am still waiting for him. few days back , in msn he told me he still likes me. and kept aplogizing about the way he treated me in the past . i felt so warm suddenly. but i think , its all a lie.if he really cares and sowie abt what he did in the past , he wouldnt hav treated me again this time. thinkin that he would come back?. no way ba. i can tell no one abt my prob. cos no one wil care. its my prob afterall. even if someone would listen to me , they will say i am stupid and ask me to give it up. only one person will ask me to wait, angeline.
i dunno what the decision is. i wan to wait . but sometimes it see,s like i am waiting for the sun to rise from the west. and till pigs will fly. its like , he said he still likes me . but why no actions at all?
if u care abt someone and am sowie that he did wrong in the past , will u repeat it again?.
sometimes i tried to accept someone else. but its like , i am jus lying my love to him. and in the end , i failed a relation again. tell me what to do . should i wait for you or should we jus go our way? i really wish u could tell me what u are feeling now. i know i shouldnt disturb u that u are injured now. u know , how i really wan to take care of u . i wish to visit u and take kare of u . but seems so far away.. i am totally lost.
jus hope *S* will help me through . i really need help. B.Y.S~!

- school reopen -

well yday was the first day of sch . but i din go los . bleahs.~ cos too tired.
worked till late the day before los.
thn its like . i wanna sleep more cos dun hav the chance to sleep till so late anymore liaos. hahas.
hmmm... well luckil we've got another day off today. dunno what the reason also .. jus glad that i can sleep more again.. hahas.
tell u pple , i am getting plumber liaos. omg. keep eating at the wrong time. example? SUPPER!
omg. i keep eating mac since i work in toyrus. cos nth to eat liaos.. food court de food like. so ex and so little and its like nothing special to eat also.. hahs. so decided to hav student meal los. the pple there see me everyday also sian liaos. but no choice lurhs.. what to do.? i wan to support u all ma. if not u all close down le thn i eat what? hahas. broken english . soot! anyways was kinda sad wen i heard that my result was worst thn pple whu din really study for the test. hais.. what am i to do.? why suddenly i become so lousy? isit bcos of u or isit i din really put my heart in it? . i cant fail.. i cant break the promise that i said to my parents. and the hope of becoming a better person. i really mus work hard now. but hais.. i dun wan body massage liaos.. i wan make-up. its like miss soh say i cnnt make it if i choose that de. and i am like scared i would injured myself . cos mummy say bm will make u weak cos u need alot of strength to it. how?
i am getting so fustrated with so many thgs around me and i am the one whu think too much. i hate this feeling.

- the work issue -

these few days i look into the mirror. and realised..
I BECOMING PLUMBER LIAOS.!
and yes, getting older in looks liaos. many pimples popping out. hais..
SIANS!
omg. think is all those powerful chocolates and supper ba. hahas.
die ler lurhs.. i wanna go diet ..
yar . workin is tough. but fun is the most important thg los. (:
anyways today jiu shi 2 week working there liaos.. hmmm i mean counting the days where i din work also lurhs. hahs. hmmm the pple there treating me better liaos. so dun hab to worry. i am fine. and when can i get my pay?.
now m parents am meeting a critical prob liaos. so i really hav to help. althought cant help much , but i will try and do somethg good to help them so they wont get so stressed up. especially my dad.
and my bro? . hahs. idoit de lurhs.. i dun wish to say further.. go find out urself.
jus telling everyone that , sowie if i cant go out with u or somethg cos i really hav lots of prob to solve. and i cant stand aside and let my parents suffer isnt it? hope u all understand.
though i am still smiling like how i am before , look inside me , ask my questions , care for me . tahts all. u dun hav to buy a rose to make me happy , jus a few words of care is enff.

one of my sweetie pie . can see a smiley ?

My world my life

Wednesday, October 03, 2007

o31o07
1656pm

well. finally i found a job.. and yes. yday was the first day of work.
well its fun lurhs.. jus that the seniors like.. hmmm.. kinda not happy with the newbies.
even the newbies like hmmm... nvmm..
think i think too much ler lurhs.. hahas.
but sometimes i think , my face like .. hais.. CMI!
jus that thats *123* is like hmmm attitude me los..
jus found that seniors are fierce lurhs...!!!
well . there's so much to learn los.. i am cashier .. same as jiejie and mum. hahas. but lunch not provided.
so had a lonely lunch yday los.. but well nvm lurhs at least angeline working there. so i went to find her los..
aika was the most friendly de. she guide us thoughout los.. cos we still like blur sotong los..
and one supervisor ar.. aiyo damn fierce lurhs..
but nvm lurhs.. time will * bleahs * - speechless
hais.. and yes.. i wont msg u anymore . even if i see u online . i wont tok 2 u.. rest assure.
i am damn pissed being called a freak already..
hope one day i will hav the same shift with jiejie and mum tgh.. there will be so much fun isnt it? haha.
well.. thinking what i will be wearing tml .. hmmm..
morning shift ok! sians!
anywyas.. dun ever wanna do night shift again ! mop , sweep ... whateva! lols!
kks.. wish me luck.
whu can wake me up?!?
at 5am?
hahas.
lame~

My world my life

Saturday, September 29, 2007

29o9o7
21o2pm

these few days , din stay at home.. hmmm is actually the most most enjoyable days out ..
hmmm. in the end , i decided to go that chalet. althought i dun feel like going at all..
sometimes thinking back . why some pple jus hate me so much when i din even tok 2 them at all.
P* and gang los.. think is their member ba.
ahhas. well. i know my attitude sucks , but check urs too (:
i would be nice if u are nice. i am an angel if give me that wings.
lols. nonsense lurhs!
early in the morning , got a call from miss soh , she told me somethings ba [ confidencial ]
thn while in train , i got a call from miss eng , telling me i was choosen to go back to sch to learn a new machine . i was excited of cos ((: thanks all teachers !!
well.. went out with jiejie and sharon oh ya and her frend , terence. that super duper quiet guy.
hmmm first day , 27o9o7 a thursday . went to vivo. actually wanted to appl for a job in giodano.
but in the end , asked us to their main office for an interview. but nvm.
mail point is , i met jiejie 2pm at white sand shopping center. i came early and well waited for some time.
hmmm.. actually sharon was wanting to join , but she sleepy , so din come lers . we went to zone x asking for a job . the auntie at the counter was very kind . i like her. so polite. but she only wan 1 person . lols.. hmmm ok lurhs.. think we will let this place to sharon as me and jiejie has got the job in vivo's toy r us. ((:
we were luckly enff (: anywyas.. we were in white sand waiting time to fly fast , as we meeting sharon at 4pm later on. so we bought bubble tea and sat some where near the mrt and chat time really flies. we were toking abt the past . jiejie's past was unlike me . all very sian de. lols. always a punching bag .
well. nvm lurhs. at least i am living better now (:
we reached vivo around 415pm. so i gave sharon a call. saying her frend was doing his hair. se tot he was only going there for a hair cut , but whu knows he went to dye it. so we hav to wait for them again. while waiting , we went to find sotong*A . tok tok tok los.
lols. then , she went to transfer my pay to me. $132 (: think now left with 100 liaos. lols!
well. hmmm..after that , we called sharon once again . still haben done , will be reaching around 7 . we were like OMG! hungry... as we promised to hav dinner tgh , we ren! went to a place , sat down and tok . letting time goes faster.. now i know , wen jiejie is hungry , she will tok alot . lols!
finally sharon reached , she keep apologising .. thn we were like its ok ok ok ok! but her frend were like very shy los. lols tok 2 him like keep erm erm erm.. lols?! no need shy what . we aint monster. wont eat u up de..
anyways , we had long john. lols i dun really like eating LJ. lols well but nvm . at least better thn nth (:
we went to arcade after that . went to watch terence play initial D 4 . lols. he quite li hai . anyways, after which , i treat each of them , play hmmm racing game. dunno what's that game also los.. ahha. i got 2nd! omg! actually constantly 1st de. dunno how come nearing to the finish line , that terence went and bang me . thn he got the 1st . agrh ): he tricked sharon also lols. funny sia them !
ok .. this is the best part . jiejie went to play time crisis again! lols. her aiming wasnt good so we asked her to stand nearer to the screen and jus put the gun there and point to the ememy. so much laughers ok! lols! i laugh till peng! lols.
hais. sad part now, we went outside and slack ! so sians los. we din want to go home de. lols. but still we hav to. anyways , we somehow saw fireworks @ sentosa.

- byebye day 1 -

@--/:--

-harlos day 2 -

okok. meeting time changed and i wasnt informed. actually tot was 12 . but jiejie overslept so she called sharon for the time changed . but i wasnt updated . so i hav to slack at cityhall mrt there de seat . ok here comes the bad part .. while wating for the time to past . here comes a ' weird malay guy , in his 30s ' . the train came and of cos pple alight and set off.. so this guy who was the alighted guy , waited for the train to set off and , knowing there wasnt any crowd anymore , came towards my direction . and sat beside me. thn i knew somethg was wrong. cos , of all the seats there , empty onces .. he jus chose to sit beside me. thn i was like quite scared . as he sat quite close to me. i was listening to my mp3 thn i saw his face faced at me and mouth was moving . so i took out my ear piece and he started

HE" ' girl , where u going ? '
ME" ' why u ask?
HE" ' jus ask '
ME" ' dunno '
HE" ' where you going? say say! '
ME" ' waiting for frend lurhs '
HE" ' thn go where ? '
i din answer .
HE" ' you now studying or working? '
ME" ' dunno '
thn shift my butt away from him a little . he moved as well.
i buay tahan . so i changed place. and he say it . he walked away.
i can tell you.. i was very very very scared by then . i even smsed sharon , asking for help lols!
my heart was pumping like hell !

ok so i went to meet them in bugis..
i was the last to reach. -.-" hahs. actually earliest .in the end..
so we decided to walk our way , sharon and her frend went to library me and jiejie went to bai shen. ok .. think after eating the sweet , i became luckier ler (: thats when i got the job ma. (:
we met sharon once again and set off to suntec.
there , jiejie went to return the card and everything to her previous de work place.
ok. done?. we went to hab our lunch (: lols.
pasta mania. it was my most horrible lunch of all. ' HAM AND SAUSSAGE BAKED RICE ITALIAN MANGO SODA ' and not forgetting jiejie's TOe-MA-TOe (:
i dun like it cos there's lot of cheese in it. and i dun like it ok!
hahas! okok. we set off to the arcade ! (: max tune time!
at first i tot it was easy los. but whu know , i cant even control the car proberly los! damn sadded with myself lurhs.. dui sharon's car de lian! agrh! even jiejie drove steadier thn me los. hahhahs.
well nvm. after that we compete in bball . i won with the score of 110 or lesser? i cant remember. lols. ok . we were so late for the interview. at first rosanne called me ad told me she got the job , i was like, hais.. no hope ler. but whu knows? we got it too ! our interview time was 1530p but we reached there 1610pm lols. so crazy . first impression gone! lols. but well the manager wasnt that angry . but he look sian sian de. lols.. ok i am starting work on tue! (: and hav to go back to sch in the morning for the lesson (: will be a tiring day ba (: so qi dai los! look forward! hehes.
ok.thn we met up with sharon again. she said she hav to go off ler. how sad rite? she hav to go for some japanese concert. and terence was going off too. so i offered him to join us and walk around since we still will be meeting in the nite. so no need so ma fan ma. hahas.. ok we walked around vivo like siao los. so bored de. wanting to meet sotong again but she din work in that shop today , another outlet. sadded! thn we kept asking terence to tok . he was like so shy lurhs. -.- after an hour or so walkin in vivo, getting boreder and boreder , we went to find meimei in ' THE CENTRAL '. she's working there now.
its been quite a long time since i last saw her. she got a new hair-do and her shape ar.. hmmm.. becoming plumber liaos los. lols. but ok lurhs.. her hair was nice (: the style jus like eelin. she was so excited seein me los. lols. she was like ' JINWEN!!!!!!! ' then jumped towards me . lols.
there , she talked to me abt her life nowadays. she's getting busier and somewhat i pity her. cos of her bf.. jus think that sometimes i hav to tok some sense into him. meimei's thinking might sometime childish and unreasonable , but she aint stupid. jus think taht after so many rain and shine , she become a little matured and starts think of others , care and love them lers. i a quite happy for her (: stay stay strong meimei. and u know what? i promised her i will go for the chalet . -.-'' sians! well. we pei her at her shop. she told me abt her life again. sometimes i really wanan he;p her , but hais.. i cant do anythg !! i hav no rites at all. and i dun wan her getting into a war again wif her guy.
we went for dinner after that , meimei da bao her food while me and jiejie stayed there and eat.
we ate nia. terence said he wanna save for later . so we jus eat los. ok , we were eating , thn he was sleeping . we finished within half an hour . thn the pple there came and cleared our dishes. and this woked him up . he was kan jiong as the person was wiping the table and he tot his drink was getting in the way , so he wanted to put the drink away , but who knows , he mis-kill, spilled his drink and kena jiejie. he was like ' omg ' i know his feelin then. lols. he quite ps after that lurhs.. we dun blame u (: anyways. we went to meet meimei again.. pei her till she end work. thn sharon came and meet us as ' durain ' rainning.
but suddenly jiejie hav the urge in wanting to sit by the river. lols.so we went down los..
there's stairs for us to sit and enjoy the view.. hmm u know what? i almost fall ok! slippers aint ur best bud! lols. hmmm we waited for meimie till she finish work ..
she came and meet us with her bf.. dun really like her bf cos like dao los.. hais.. after which , we decided to go to ' the merlion ' the view there very nice. and it made me think alot . of HIM! hais, why cant i forget him.? thn sharon keep tokin to me . thanks alot! hais.. i promise i will forget him fast.. and i will (: thanks for everyone's support.. and meimei ! mus take kares ok! anythg i will update again..
should end now (:

My world my life

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

25o9o7
2350pm

well, all i hav to say is , dont ask me to be someone i am not!
you see . met zx and sharon today..
zx keep saying me fat and all those stupid comments..
its like. why does he say so?
cos he compares me with someone else..
and why? cos in his eyes. the perfection in his eyes is HER!
and its like to him , every girl mus be like her. no matter toking about attitute , style and what ever!
well.. tell u wat. i love who i am and who i hav been.
dun ever ask me to change to someone whu ISNT ME!
i hav my style , attitude and the way i tok.
if u hav got a comment , at least look at urself and say somethg out of ur mouth..
not only to him , but to the everyone whu said me ..
ok i accept the comments u gave. but it like, why cant i be me?
ya , m attitude stinks , i specks loud , i look and act like a lian. and so?
ya , his , her , parents dun like me , so? can i change their thinking?
yes!!! i hav to change myself to someone whu aint me..
do u like it wen u hav to ask like someone u aint , in front of them?
u like the feeling of pple whu say u are this this this and ask u to change here here here and be like her her her?
well.. let me tell u something , ACCEPT ME FOR WHU I AM , IF U CANT EVEN ACCEPT FOR WHU I HAV BEEN , THN SO BE IT . i thank you for the every effort and gifts that u gave.
and sowie i din give u one on ur bday..
u see , sometimes , its diff to be me ,
today , R suddenly came and tok 2 be saying that she was stress tat i was jealous of her..
yes i am , but not NOW!
its that . she said that i was all along jealous that she was prettier thn me . but its how i felt for some moment.. its like , i dunno what to say out of a sudden. now i think that its the luck that she's got that make pple attract to her..
i dun care abt how pple are gonna think of me ..
and db now say i neglect her..
yes i do admit that i neglected her . i am sowie!
its not i dun wanna contact u , its that i dunno how to start toking to u .. its like we aint that close as b4 ler.. there''s somewhat a gap in between. and i dunno where to start.
and nowadays i am so fed up with so many things around me , i am so stressed up already.. how am i suppose to tent to these other probs?
ok pple , jus tell me what u aint happy wif me .. jus tell me . be frank!
i wont be angry , i would be happier..
what ever it is. dun order me around . and dun ever LOOK DOWN ON ME!
hate those pple whu does that . and u know whu u are..
so get the fcuk out and say it to me straight.. !

My world my life

Monday, September 24, 2007

24o9o7
1816pm

this morning , woke up wif cramps
agrh.. painess!
anywyas. was kinda happy that he sent me sms again.
but i think that wasnt him.
cos he said ' taken lunch ? '
thni was like ' you sent wrong ar? taken thanks '
he said ' no lurhs. its for you i din send wrong '
thn i say ' oh ok thanks '
next reply shocked me
' sorry i make you suffer . i hurt my ankle going for x ray '
he injured his ankle. he fell off his bed. i am kinda worried for him. should i tell him?
i said to let go . and i hate him so.
i told myself to let go and i did.
now he's back and changed my thinking..
what should i do?
i am so confused now.
but .. he din reply me again lers.
hope this is a dream.
and jus feel that wasnt him.
i am gonna send him a msg to him again.
if he does reply means it isnt him.
if he dont means its him..
hais..
why am i feeling this way again?
shitt-to!

and yes. he replied..

My world my life

Saturday, September 22, 2007

23o9o7
134am

today a fun fun day (:
went out with ivan , lisa , bro and mum.
well.. actually was wanting to let bro and mum tok de..
but ended up becoming their ' zhong jian ren '
hahhas.. so funny.. messenger los..
well. hais.. ok lurhs.. went to play pool. mum keep winning lurhs..
thn she say we rang her..
what the los.. lols! video update next time ok. lols.. too lazy
well. hmmm.. dunno lurhs.. sometime really jealous . cos she prettier thn me los..
wen we walk in the shopping center , she is the attention.
well hahas.. i too childish ler lurhs..
knsknskns.
well. sometimes i really think recently i having bad luck los..
no job , toyrus nv call me. thn no job los..
hais..
thn wen go out or what.. hais..
its all myfault to make mummy close the minimart los..
thn she wont feel so stressed up now..
and daddy too..
its my fault los.. i feel so guilty.. i hope i was never born to this world..
sometimes i think i am jus extra to this world..
why cant god jus give me a chance to work again?
i promise i will treasure it de.. and i reallyyy hope i can avhieve from this course.. beauty i mean.
hais.. my result is like getting from bad to worst.. and its like. i still slacking around.. this made me really very disappointed with myself. why cant i jus buck up more and get better result?
i tried so hard , yet what i got was this shit..
how useless i am..
hais..
i really hope i can be a better person from now on .. i dun wanna be a loser..
i know , once fall , stand back straight again..
i tried.. yes i did.. and i was back to square one..
god , please. i reall need this job.. i really do.
there's so much thing for me to clear.
hais..
how i wish , i jus hav 1 wish. and its enff..
i am very sad , disappointed and depressed..
the feeling is so weird..
hais..
my face , my teeth , my chin , my .....
FCUK ... i jus hate myself!
agrh

My world my life

Thursday, September 20, 2007

21o9o7
1333pm

yday was havving so much fun..
its the first time i felt so relieved..
lols.. dunno why wen i look at guys , they look so similar to jon..
hahas..
well...
went to vivo to interview for toy r us .
hope they call soon! i really need a job ! like very urgent los..
i very worried they wont call..
i really need to support myself.. so that my father wont get so stress up. so as m my mum.
wen i see they getting so angry and stress with all these prob , i am very stress as well..
althought i dun show. but i really am sad..
i tried jobs. but it like. a fasle hope.
i am kinda depressed los..
hais..
now my hus there so noisy...
renovating this stupid block..
so noisy.. wan sleep also diff.. so come blog los..
maple play till sian liaos..
thn now like damn sian also..
rosanne mum go work lers..
thn no one tok 2 me lers.
hahas.. she sent me poto we took yday..
was the very very first time we took poto los.!
yday went with jiejie and sharon also..
so fun los..
went to toyrus play..
dun dare to fool around.. later they dun employ us how?
lols!
so jus took poto with toys los.. sadded!
one day i will buy all those home i tell u .. lols!
hmmm jus cooked tang yuan.. and ate mummy cooked de fried rice.. damn nice ok!
althought ' or lu lu ' de.
yday went we were out , me and sharon ate lemon chicken rice. its $3.50
not bad.. but kinda sour los.
hahhas!
well. we went to arcade after that..
played pool..
hahs.. me played with jiejie. she won lurhs..
lols.. hmmm.. hahhas
i very lat hor?
hahsa.. welll...
for dinner , we went to have mac , AGAIN!
omg continuously 3 days mac mac mac!
ki siaos los!
well some videos of us in toyrus.
lols! damn funny de..
look at jiejie's .. thn sharon de is like relax los..
wen compare. u will know why i said funny!
hahas!
well.
today i look at my palm. thn i ask my mum , cos i realose my plam there's a line its called relationship line.
mine isnt straight , its broken.
so i asked how to mend it back , she asked to change my attitude , thinking and temper. and it will be ok..
it difficult for u u should know! cos , its a 100% negative thing for me los..
so diffivult jiu shi ler..
anyways.. enjoy those pic and videos (:
soooo looonggg~

lonelynessROSANNE

niteviewviaVIVO

my orlulu FIREDRICE

mum and me very first poto

me and mum in toilet

candid shot.

marry me will u?

guess where?

zrooommmmm~

lonely de sharon

LMAO

jiejie and me

lemonchickenrice

My world my life

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

19o9o7

20o5pm

hmmm.. today hav 2 activities.

one , my bl meeting. abt going to the children's home.

i donated 5 dollars also los (:

happy~

anywyas.. met mummy at inter and went sch tgh..

on the way , we saw nick and frends...

hmmm anyways.. was saying abt my bro all along the journey..

its like.. i saw those msg and the silly thgs my bro said , i was like .. ' peng '
lols! but i really was shocked wen i saw him msg her this los..
thn wen i msg him aasking him dun so stupid, he said, aiyar. i say for fun de..

thn i was like.. dun bluff lurhs.. shy say shy lurhs.. kns!

why guys all like tt de ar?

all no guts like tt de.. why ar?

jus like that heartless farker..

say till he like fierce.. but in the end dunno like shit lurhs..

hahahsa! dun care lers..

anywyas.. went to the art museum also..

found out that actually there's alot of stories also de los..

all very interesting de los..

feel like going there again..

ahahas!

well A* still shouting at me los..