-260407-
GERLGERL
IN MEMORIES OF -GERL2-
FER ALL THE LAUGHTER AND SMILE.
OUR LOVE FER U WILL NEVER FADE.
WILL ALWAYS STAYS IN OUR HEART.
REST IN PEACE.
- MAY GOD BLESS YOU-
- wif loads of love. JINWEN-
My world my life
SUNDAY 220407
2102
hey peeps!
today was really a great day!
outing wif my favourite kids.. i mean cousins!
hehehs!
....
in the morning..
went to temple to pray my GREAT GRANDMA and my GRANDPARENTS*
i didnt get to see my GREAT GRANDMA ..
but i miss my GRANDPARENTS alot!!
wen i saw their poto ..
especially my GRANDMA , i felt like crying..
they warmed my heart..
i miss them!!
i know they miss me too.. cos i had dreams from them!!
hais..
wen my GRANDMA was still alive , she treated me very good!
she wasnt bias at all.. she doted every of her grandchildrens..
but she always gave me present.. like one of those days..
i rmbed...
A MINNIE MOUSE YELLOW WALLET*
though i lost it wen we first moved house from bedok.
hais..
those sweet childhood she left fer me..
my relation wif GRANDPA then to my GRANDMA.
hmmmm.... wasnt that close..
i seldom tok to my GRANDPA.
i jus remembered..
after i changed my name , [ i was called TaoTao in the past ]
he will still call me AH TAO AR....
lols!!
rememberin all those memories!!
i miss it!!!!!!!!
i was still in my pri days wen they left me..
jus to let them know..
I MISS BOTH OF YOU , AH GONG, AH MA!!
i really do!
after visiting the temple..
we went home...
wen we reached home
My world my life
saturday 140407
0026 am
YES! i have decided! and i think i gonna set this as my NEXT THING TO DO*!
guess what?
after a month or so , i decided to quit my current job liaos..
mayb i am beingselfish.. but i dun wanna tolerate anymore..
and also dun wanna see those whu doesnt wanna see me too.. wahhahs!
anyways.. few days back..
one of the AUNTIE. [ my favourite de ]
gave me sweet !! hehehs..!!!
so sweet of her.. althought know me only a month.. but i think i left her a good impression ba
hehehs!
thnks auntie! U ARE THE BEST IN IKEA!
btw. most pple dun like S*
at first i find her a nag.. but now she is so much nicer to me liaos (:
today at work.. i reached at 4. and she came to me and say..
' XIAO MEI. i going home liaos [ thn she smiled at me ] '
thn i asked why so early.. she was like....
' WHAT EARLY! I LEFT HUS AT 530 . REACHED HERE 6 PLUS LEIS. i live so far u know.! '
thn ask where she live.. she answered me .. but i forgort where liaos.. hahahs!
thn i asked again. isit far from here. she says .. ' Hai hao lurhs '
thn i say.. if urs is far.. thn mine leis!
wen she heard my answer.. she shouted ' HUH?!? WHY SO FAR? FROM THERE U COME HERE WORK AR.. THN HOW U COME HERE EVERYDAY?!?! '
so i answered los..
ahahhas!
shocked ba?
hmmmm... she is so much much nicer toooo meee!!!!!
hhees.. but too bad ba.. i dun hav the face and the fate to stay there any longer!
today aar.. hais..
its saturday.. this equals to many pple comin here shop shop buy buy! [ chop chop bye bye! ]
hmmm so today is much more a busy day ba.. end of the day , everythg has sold out!
hmmm.. near the ending of my shift..
one of the I* scolded me..
hmmm.. cos chicken wing is much more a POPULAR* side order dish in IKEA.
and so it gets sold put very fast.. and gotta top up fer it.. inside the warmer..
and normally it is placed in a smaller metal container but suddenly , wen i went fer top up..
i saw a big tuck of chicken wings placed in a bigger container tin.. thn i was like.. ' hurry lurhs.. i gotta serve the pple leis! '
so i asked the uncle without thinkin through my head..
' uncle.. chicken can take de huh? use hand put inside hor? '
thn that I* jiu say..
' of cos lurhs.. this kinda simple stuff also dunno ar? '
thn i was like kinda pek che at that time liaos. not becos of I* but wif the crowd.
but I* made me even fed up!
so i talk back at I*
' cos i stupid ma. '
thn I* was like..
' you dun no respect to elders hor '
thn i was like.. whu cares abt u?
thn i take the chicken wing back liaos..
but i feels so much better!!!!
i feels so relieved!!!
yes!!
ahahahhas!!
btw, today is afternoon shift de.. and is equals to younger pple 's shift ma..
wen i stand there.. i feels so extra mans!!
cos i everytime is morning de ma.. thn today suddenly do afternoon.. like .. hais!
nvm..
anyways.. today B* broke a plate today..!
lets give a hand to him.. cos ...
HE'S THE FIRST TO BREAK A PLATE!!!!!
ahahs.! jking!!!
wen he breaks the plate.. suddenly the crowd goes SILENT.. the lady was like keep lookin at B*
haiyo!
next time mus be careful mans!
MIC* is very sensitive de!!
oh yar.. during break.. i met ella.
she ask me to follow her downstairs bcos she wanna smoke..
the funniest thg is..
wen i enter the lift.. i saw MIC* he say ' GO SMOKE AR? '
thn i say no lurhs..
wen i met MRWEE* he say the same thg too..
does my face looks like a smoker to u?
lols!
oh yar!
this week is my last week [ full ] in IKEA .
so MIC* asked if i am workin next week. so i say no.. thn say is studying..
thn he says..
dun study lurhs..
i see ur face dun suit studies de..
i was like.. WHAT EVER!
whu cares abt what u says?
what do u know?
oh yar. these pic are some of the thgs fer past few days (:
My world my life
WEDNESDAY 110407
2252PM
today started off wif a sleepy face..
dragged all the way to work...
found myself so ke lians..
lols.. jking nia..
actually workin is fun wen the person u workin wif , is fun!
OKOK!
let me introduce this BIG GUY*!
HE AR..
' LIKES TO BULLY SMALLER PPLE! [ like me ! :( ]
' LIKES TO JOKE ALOT! [ sometimes lame but he dunno ]
' BUT! WEN IT GETS TO HIS NERVES.. [ hohoho.. :) ]
he like to KA JIAO pple till THEY* gets irratated.... thn he willl....
HAHAHHAHAS!!!
laugh and laugh...
like fun los..
to him fun lurhs.. to us ar..
-.- ''
anywyas... before going fer work..
my mum scooped food fer me to MAKAN MANS!!!!!!!!!!!
its been such a long time since she scooped food fer me liaos..
ahahahs!
so happy....
anywas... was tokin abt that BIG GUY*
ahahahs..!!!!
his name is same as me de!
has a ' J '
((((:
oh ya..
early in the morning.. i put my bag at the front and went to STAFF CANTEEN*
actually is cafe but canteen sounds so much nicer.. like back to sch days like tt...
* AHEM *
lets continue (:
before i reach there.. i can see a BIG SHADOW*
hahahs.. thn i was wondering where the other uncle is..
thought he was in-charge today..
but it wasnt!
it was J*
ahahahhas!
i looked at him wif a strange and blur face..
thn he looked at me.. i mean looked down at me*
' you here ar? '
' yes! '
' u leis? why you here also? '
' i in charge here lurhs.. '
i was like...
HUH?????
thn he explains..
cos ar.. staff here ar.. need a SENIOR* to look after
i was thinking in my mind ' EH? SENIOR -.-'' '
thn ok los... welll... its better to hav him around lurhs...
cos time crawls at staff..
so boring that u can falls asleep there -.-
hahahs!
well..i met a new STAFF today as well.!
she's called E* fer short..
she's an indian..
at first she's quiet.. but after we become comfortable wif each other she started to joke around ..
this big guy ar..
since one incident that happened at the kitchen...
i fergot what liaos..
from that very day... he keep ka jiaoing me sia..
ahahhas!
like wen i go to top up chicken wing from the warmer..
he will like.. shout at me..
' WHAT U WANT? ' [ wif those big eyes he has ]
thn i say chicken wing lurhs.. [ kinda scared ]
thn he will say THN FASTER TAKE LURHS..
thn i will like.. ok ok -.-
thn he will say..
JUS JOKIN LURHS
wthhhhhhh~
get my feelings?
lols!
eh.. today ar..
got to know him better liaos..
he really is a nice guy lurhs..
i laugh till like siao..
rmb jus now ..
cos TODAY'S SPECIAL* was. CURRY CHICKEN * - yum yum (: -
hmmmm.. hahahs!
oh yar..
CC - double C (:
thn we are supposed to ask if the customers wants either BREAD or RICE..
due to my pronouncing was not good.. as well as m englishhhh...
i said...
to the customer ' you wan rice or MIAN BAO -.- '
thn J* was like..
ahahaha!!!!
MIAN BAO! MIAN BAO!
hahahas!
he was laughing so crazy that it makes the customer laugh too..
i was so damn PS!
omg!!!
lols!
thn nvm los! fergets it..
also rmb one more.. i was NOT ALLOWED TO SIT DOWN ON THE CHAIR! *
hahahs..
at first [ wen i just reached ]
i sat down on the chair..
thn BIG GUY looked very tired .. so i offered my seat to him..
whu knows.. he said..
CAN SEE I TIRED AR.
he says ' u dun wan sit ar? '
thn i say.. no lurhs i see u so tired u sit los..
me and my stupid mouth,. say 3 thn will tired 3 thn let me sit..
agrh..
so its true.. 3 thn he let me sit -.-
agrh!
anyways.. i met another J* there also..
ahahhas
at the other side of hala . oh yar! not forgetting one of the auntie.. dunno her name (:
ps ... ((: -.-''
i wasnt suppose to go to the outside hala de.. but MR POH*
asked me to take over the auntie fer lunch.. but he forgotten to remind that BIG GUY not to go over to the outside..
and guess what..
ended up . both of us was at the outside.. serving.. lols!!
thn the cashier J* was like.. HUH? 2 person -.-
but ok lurhs... BIG GUY taught me how to serve outside!
cos i am very very blur de los..
so he taught me los!
lols!
the time was 2pm ba.. supposed to me 1 person at each side of the hala.. meaning.. either staff or hala..
so BIG GUY asked me to go back to STAFF . come back half an hour later ...
so i did what he says los.! ahahas!
thn i was back wif E*
she says i looked like JAPANESE!
hahhhaas!!!
cool! first person that ever says i look like JAP.
AHAHAHS!
I AM NOT!
hehehs..
she says so cos my assent was so unusual.. hmmm no.. is.. UNIQUE bas..
ahahahs! jking..
she found it weird as i specks .. so she asked if i am a SINGAPOREAN *
and i said yes of cos!
lols!
what i dun like is .. she also said i look like china.. -.-
WHICHHHHH...
makes BIG GUY [ before 2pm -.- ] makes a joke out of it..
guess what he said,. -.-
he says.. ' of cos lurhs.. she chinese of cos is from china lurhs.. '
' then indian comes from india , malays comes from malaysia . '
thn i asked..
' ang mo leis? ANG MO KIO ar? '
lols!
he says.
' NOW THEN U KNOW AR? '
-.- '''
anywyas... E* comes from a complicated family background...
hais.. feels so sad fer her..
she taught me alot abt life!
even shared her life experience..
she's a mother of 2.
hahahs.. she is real GREAT*
hehehs..
anyways... it was 230pm..
i returned to the hala side..
i am still very very blur lurhs.. even the auntie at the cashier cant stand how stupid i can be -.-
i wasnt good in malay.. so before BIG GUY goes fer is break.. he wrote down all the dishes on a piece of paper..
so NICE OF HIM !*
hehehs.!!!
oh yar.. time FLIES outside better thn at the staff (:
thn it was 3pm.. the auntie was back.. and soon the rice was down as well..
so i asked here where to get it.. and she opened the BIGGGGGG rice cooker..
and guess what?
THE RICE IS SO DAMN DRIED UP ON TOP -.-
so we tried to stir it up and scoop to the rice bin?
lols
hmmmm... today was so much fun!
annnnnndddd.... ITS TIME FER ME TO GO HOME ):
NO MORE BIG GUY...
):
but before i go i gave sweets to staff that i know (((:
COCACOLA (:
hope you guys like it..
i even gave to the pple that i jus know lols!
i mean the cashier lurhs -.-
ahahhas!
ANYWAYS!
I , HEREBY THANK ALL THE PPLE WHU HELP ME WEN I REALLY NEED THEM TO TEACH ME.. ALTHOUGH I AM SO DAMN STUPID.. PLS FERGIVE ME.. COS I HAV ALWAYS BEEN LIKE THIS [ since young ]
hshehs.. (:
wif lots of love <3
jinwen (: --/-@
My world my life
o4o9o7
20o1pm
yday, was kinda a sad ending for me.
but it woke me up from those fairytales girly girly thought lurhs.
i smsed him in the morning , sayin if he hav woken , and yes he replied.
after that he also said , not to forget to hav my breakfast.
you know something , i really love going to school. cos i hav the acc of my frends.
so i wont think so much..
sometimes i really feel like giving up , but i cant. but now , after so many things , i finally xiang tong lers...
was saying , yday i messaged him again in the nite.. i asked ' harlos dear , what you doing? '
thn he replied , ' when i am free then i take the gift from you . dun pass it to my bro , dun disturb him '
and yes, it made me cry..
i was about to go to sleep , on my bed, wen he replied this, i cried of cos..
u can say i am a crybaby . whatever ok!
its so hurting , so sad i cant love you anymore. i hav to tell myself , to forget you.
its easy for me cos , u din leave much good memories for me either.
and yes the gift, hmmm.. i will gib him de.
but its only the keychain. it has his name on it . cos its useless for me to use it also rite.
and the sketch?
i burnt it
ya. it may sound so dramatic, bcos of these small stuff i burnt the art piece.
once a person told me , a good artist , never burn , damage or blame the art for not being what it is.meaning that , no matter how awful the art piece is , never critize it..
and .. this time , its diff ba...
its kinda angry too , asking me not to disturb his bro. and yes , his bro is ver dear to him..
and me this so called gf , is nothing to him..
yup , i cant be like his ex , know him better .. yup , other girls would be better for u ba.
i so ugly and so rough , not up to ur expectations. i know.. i can feel it.
the feel isnt there anymore. u can lie , saing u are busy.. and yes, u are also busy ,
u were NEVER FREE!
u can hav the time to learn guitar, no time to even sms me? wow .how amazing.
u can hate me , and please .. hate all u want , i need u no more.
and yes, i will find someone better.
i dun need u anymore. go carry on busy , busy with ur work or what so ever,
and also a yes, i am not understandin enff.. i dun trust u , yes , its all a yes!
so? do u even care?
u asked me not to compare. hahas! how stupid .. yes, other pple can see their partner at least once a week , or once a month.. for us? not even a min u would wannaa pei me..
and so ? nvm its ok with me , its fine with me..
and u make me realise something , smsing me is a very difficult for you , it would take you ur life doing so.. how true is that , u can sms other pple without even need to think if u wanna reply not.. u can read it and send the next.
for my case?
read , ignore.
hahas! thanks for all these truth .. thanks , i appreciate it..
u said u had a crush with her* but u thought it wasnt possible to be with , .. and after so , u said u like me .. ya.. how true is that?.
ya , all those ' i love you ' and ' darling ' ..oh man!..
stop lying to urself as well as me can? u are making me look like a 101% fool.
are u treating me like a kiddo or something?
how does it feel if u really love someone , but she cant meet you everytime? how would u feel?
we are tgh for 18 days ler. and another 12 day , its our ani.. and i think i can forget it. all my thoughts and plan for our first month , all ,can be deleted from my mind..
i can tell u , those i love you taht i said , i meant it.. u may not believe it.. its ok..
its a one-sided love afterall. its being me myself and i all along , there's no u at all.
ya , i told pple i hav a bf , but i dun feel so xin fu as the others, the gave their love to their partner , and got what the other's in return. as for me.. i gave , but i got nothing ..
its not i like to act pityful . but its like this.. i dunno what i did to deserve such ' good ' blessing..
my frends kept askin my why recently i hav been lookin so emo. and i told them i was ok. after which it made me feel worst... i cant stand it , so i blunt it out .. i cried in front of them , cos i really cant control anymore.. he 's always been like this, even i told my frends what happened , his tone is always so heavy , jus why are u treating me this way?
its like . no matter how busy you will be , at least a sms or a call , to tell me that u are okay.. i really care for you.. but i dun seems u know it.
u din show me love nor care at all.. all i got was , ' busy busy andddd busy '
this shows me that you dun care..
these few days , i smsed you with like ' dear mus drink more water ok? '
and u din reply ...
and i messaged him again.. ' dear , u there? '
but then he replied ' hmm ya why? '
its like , he used to call me darling , now not even a name for me..
he used to call me penguin so do i.. but now , i am a nobody to him now..
it seems so far away..
got once , that was the last time we met .. meaning 2 weeks ago..
i told him .. dear, we seems so far away . liek a gap is in btwn..dont u think so?
he replied , ' no , i dun think so . we are jus fine aint we ? '
we were in the mrt.. thn i joked with him , saying ' ok los .. thn u go find a better girl los. with big breast de ' thn he was like , ' u are a girl leis.. say things so rough de. not like girl los. ' thn suddenly i kept quiet . thn he find it strange.. so he asked me , ' why so quiet?. ' i said nothing.
thn he said , ' ok los. next time i ask you something i will not tell you los.. i copy u say nothing los.. thn dun blame me what angeling know and u dunno ar.. '
i almost felt like crying okay! but i din lurhs.
hmmm then i reached home . we din hold hand on our way back . but he kissed me.. thanks for it. but , i dun need it anymore le.. and i know i will never get the chance to hav you again..
you are worth being loved by someone else..
and i know , ur ex , might still be waiting for u ..
well who cares? if so , i also dun even hav the rites to do so ..
hahas! i dun wanna interfere ur life anymore. and i know u dun need me either.
and recently , i asked , ' penguin , do you think we should carry on with this realtion? mus reply ar. '
and his answer was, ' dunno ' thn i said ' what's dunno , either a yes or a no , i respect ur decision. '
he said ' dunno , what about you? '
i replied. ' ur ans sure is yes de . hahas '
' wen did i said yes? if u wanna decided for mi , fine , i respect ur decision '
its like WTF los.. hais.. suan le. i was so damn depressed .. i asked jiejie to call me .. and we chatted..so did meimei. then she got someting to do so we hanged.. so i called rosanne mum for help.. and yup we chatted.. hahas. very funny de lurhs..
thn she suggested , ' why dun u gib him a call? miracle do happens '
so i do as she told .. i smsed ' can u spare me sometime ? please .'
he replied ' ya . what? dun say please. '
so i called him .. on the pone , his tone dun seems to care, like wanna put down faster like tt , its like having a little time from him , its as it take his whole life time los.. so i quickly said what i wanna say lurhs.. he kept saying dunno to my question.. ' 1/4 is u 3/4 is work. how u wan me to decide? '
and yes. this told me so , i hav to give up..
me and rosanne popo chatted till late nite, so told me alot of her stuff.. this woke me up los..
she injected some sense to me. and i hav learnt it.. thnks mum! u are really a good leader!
can always count on u! ((((:
and so i sent him a message as wat mum told me to type de.
telling him that let him stable his work first and wen everythg is done , contact me back.. and saying that i will wait for him and told him not to misunderstand this wasnt meant of breaking..and i asked if its okay for him.. and yes! u've got it rite..
HE DIN REPLY!!
wahhahahs! expected de ma.. hahas! suan ler.. hahahas..
well.. i tried to give him some time to think abt it. but it seems that there's no need for it. so i called it off ba.
although i asked angeline to find out , but i think the answer will still be the same de.. well.
make him hate me more , so i can forgets him faster ok!
hahas! no matter what .. thanks for accepting me in the first place. gratful that u ignored me..
anyways.. i dun wanna make things very bad for both of us.. he has a bright future.. and me , i am only a student from beauty , i 've got a long way till i succeed. so , find someone who u will cherish and love her with all ur heart ok!?
well.. i thank god i get the chance to know you , bcos he made me realised , not to accept someone whom u dun love and push them away suddenly without u noticing it.. wen the feel is not there anymore , try someway to let it go , cos u will suffer , not him! god , i trufully thank you for the everything i hav encounted and realied from this relation.. i will cherish my next and get a good life ahead of me.. love you god..
and yes, u dun hav to contact me anymore . cos i wont me doint it either.
lets not be frends cos it will make everything weird.. and thnks for telling me u love me once.
i treasure the love u giv me.. but i know i hav to let go ler..
its time where we must concentrate and cherish life even more .
hope u get to find the true MISS RITE for u..
may god bless you..
take kares.!
My world my life
monday 0904072326 p mhais... kinda sad wif myself lately.. seems like i m hating myself more and more.. deeper and deeper..dunno isit that i am thinking too muchor isit i am jus lying to myself..sometimes jus feels that the world is AGAINST* me.few days ago.. i met A* ..and on that day.. he ask me fer *..so i agreed.seems like i am damn plain stupid to even accept to be *...hais..sometimes i dunno what i am thinking... now.. i met W*and he asked fer it too...what the hell?isit that GOD* is playing wif me?.or isit i am that lucky?guess not..lucky in a way that people keeps playin wif my feelings..hais...i know in the past i hurt man pple's heart..isit my turn that my heart will be hurt?isit called BAO YING*?hais... suan le..i am not ready fer such GAME*no ! i am super not ready!hais...nowadays... having morning shifts...dunno why.. out of a sudden.. kena morning shifts fer 3 weeks liaos...hais...morning shift is a DEAD SHIT*! i am always very blur during morning ...cos i dunno their expectation lurhs..and i always hav mistakes..hais..sometimes.. wen ' ONE STAYS IN THE RAIN , DUNNO HOW LOVELY THE SUN SHINES. *'hahas... jus thought of it .. jiu write it out..this is my feeling rite now..i stayed too long in the dark that now i find the sun an irritate to my eyes..well... i am not against the sun. this is jus a saying nia..hais...i am having such mixed feelings now..i dunno where to go..i feels so NUMB* to my life..parents.. work and money..hais..not that i am money-face..but.. wen one is having a hole in the pocket.. the feeling is TERRIBLE*hais.. jus got my PAY* few days back..and now i am broke again..my bill..$454.72 hais..oh ya.. and also.. treated my parents to IKEA FOOD*a total of $36.50yday .. spent $500 in total ba..hais..but nvm lurhs...treating them is not a prob...prob lies wif..not enff money buying school stuff and daily needs...i need money fer sch too..and i am already big enff to earn a living fer myself...althought i dun hav money... i cant take from my parents rite?hais..my mum is jobless..and my dad 's earning is fer my mum , his car and himself..sometimes not enff fer himself also..wen i see him in such a state .. i feels like crying...few days back.. my mum was crying over this kinda stuff..i wanna help.. but i really cant...i even wanna withdraw money frim the bank for them..but they didnt want it...hais.. i dunno what to do..my bro is spendin money like his own will...sometimes even taking money from my parents wen he knows they dun hav enff..he is in NS..he has money.... government gave him money..but why does he use money so fast..?suan le.!hais... fark mans!i am feelin so farkin confused now!hais.. today wen out wif FAIRUL* SHEQYN* AMALINA* IFA*to watch my BAND* perform fer SYF*and guess what?WE GOT A SILVER*SO PROUD OF THEM!wen they announced we got a silver...i jump wif joy.. and almost cried!omg!!pple was findin us weird wen we cheered wif joy wen we got a silver..not a gold..but they will not feel how we felt..cos we always has the standard in us ..but wen the announced ...we really are happy..COS WE IMPROVED*sowie.. not weis THEM!my BAND!I LOVE YOU GUYS!*we are the best in SLSS*oh ya.. before the concert..saw W* and les*lols!pretented not to see us.. hahahs!stupid!instead of cheerin fer her own band.. she is cheering fer our F ex band conductor school.i was thinkin why we even chose her to be our band major that year.. such WRONG CHOICE!hais..but one thing i hav to say ...THE JUDGES ARE COOL!i rmb one of them...DR.TONYhahas!i saw him smiling after the band plays.!ahahah!and i know there's hope!hahas.!anywyas... kinda tired liaos..tok another time bas..still loads to say !save it fer tml folks!(:
My world my life