290807
2329am
i am getting so much stress lately.
and i find , all these stress are created by me. and i am getting affected by it..
firstly is my relationship.
i kept thinking , why i kept holding on wen its not mine.
ya u can say u dun wanna _____. but do u ever know how i am feeling inside?
i feel so empty. so empty.
and u will nv feel it.
today i asked wen u will be free.
u said tml evening.. so i ask if u wanna meet. and u din even bother to repl back.
well its ok if u dun wanna meet me. this shows how much u ' care ' ba.
since u want it this way. i got nth to do.
it jus hurt me ba.
well i know this is childish. yes! indeed i am childish..
and i know u are busy with ur stuff.
hais.. my expectation are too much lers. sowie it stress u.
i may not be as perfect as ur ex. cos she knows u much longer and better .
as for me. i only know u for 16days. provided that we are only tgh for 12 days..
how am i to compare wif her?.
sometimes really upset wif myself, why i keep thinking negatively?
its not i wan to. but the feeling is too strong , pushing me into this deep hole of , depression..
told eelin abt my prob. and said we din know each other well to b tgh. and i think this rings a bell.
yup. rush is equal to emptyness.
jus hope everything goes smoothly den. hais.
and i think it may b impossible.. with such a mind set i hav, think, he will get more stressed up.
so , preventing from stressing him , as he has got navy stuff to stress on, i decided to hav a so called ' cold period '. i hav to cool down a little. and i hav to think and reconsider if i really wanna carry on.
from the way he expressed, i think , he doesnt wanna to.. hahas! see , i am thinking too much again!
well, lets not tok abt it anymore.
the next ting is. job!
i need a job very urgently.
hais.. my bill, and my parents.
i cant always relie on my parent's money .
but i jus cant find a job. so i asked angeline. and she said to try toy'r'us..
so me and jiejie went to try..
hope we will get it.!
i really in need ! loreal din call for a week ler. so i think i kena rejected lers . hahas!
anways was very angry cos my previous post abt the refelction , is gone.
fark los. i typed so much and my previous time has been washed down the drain. agrh.so angry..
hais.. not my day lurhs..
hais..!
third , EXAM PERIOD
. hais. i am so damn stress up. its only 2 week time to exam. and i am not prepared it yet.
and i am so worried i cant get through.. i mus pass this exam. and i am gonna pass it well. i mus not let others look down on me and neither do i wanna disappoint my parents!
i must pass. i cannt so slack ler..
hais..!
mummy , daddy! i mus jia u. so both of u wont so xin ku ler!
forth,
frendship wise. hais.
wanling thingy, hais.. damn all my big month. now i lost 3 frends again. hahhas.
childish. frend here frend there. siao kin na.
hahhas!
hais..
i tell myself this everyday
i mus be happier thn b4. even though u are not by me . i mus still be happy.
happier thn u are.
but the worst thg is, i cant.
should i give up. or should i stay?
who can answer?
My world my life
