o4o9o7
20o1pm
yday, was kinda a sad ending for me.
but it woke me up from those fairytales girly girly thought lurhs.
i smsed him in the morning , sayin if he hav woken , and yes he replied.
after that he also said , not to forget to hav my breakfast.
you know something , i really love going to school. cos i hav the acc of my frends.
so i wont think so much..
sometimes i really feel like giving up , but i cant. but now , after so many things , i finally xiang tong lers...
was saying , yday i messaged him again in the nite.. i asked ' harlos dear , what you doing? '
thn he replied , ' when i am free then i take the gift from you . dun pass it to my bro , dun disturb him '
and yes, it made me cry..
i was about to go to sleep , on my bed, wen he replied this, i cried of cos..
u can say i am a crybaby . whatever ok!
its so hurting , so sad i cant love you anymore. i hav to tell myself , to forget you.
its easy for me cos , u din leave much good memories for me either.
and yes the gift, hmmm.. i will gib him de.
but its only the keychain. it has his name on it . cos its useless for me to use it also rite.
and the sketch?
i burnt it
ya. it may sound so dramatic, bcos of these small stuff i burnt the art piece.
once a person told me , a good artist , never burn , damage or blame the art for not being what it is.meaning that , no matter how awful the art piece is , never critize it..
and .. this time , its diff ba...
its kinda angry too , asking me not to disturb his bro. and yes , his bro is ver dear to him..
and me this so called gf , is nothing to him..
yup , i cant be like his ex , know him better .. yup , other girls would be better for u ba.
i so ugly and so rough , not up to ur expectations. i know.. i can feel it.
the feel isnt there anymore. u can lie , saing u are busy.. and yes, u are also busy ,
u were NEVER FREE!
u can hav the time to learn guitar, no time to even sms me? wow .how amazing.
u can hate me , and please .. hate all u want , i need u no more.
and yes, i will find someone better.
i dun need u anymore. go carry on busy , busy with ur work or what so ever,
and also a yes, i am not understandin enff.. i dun trust u , yes , its all a yes!
so? do u even care?
u asked me not to compare. hahas! how stupid .. yes, other pple can see their partner at least once a week , or once a month.. for us? not even a min u would wannaa pei me..
and so ? nvm its ok with me , its fine with me..
and u make me realise something , smsing me is a very difficult for you , it would take you ur life doing so.. how true is that , u can sms other pple without even need to think if u wanna reply not.. u can read it and send the next.
for my case?
read , ignore.
hahas! thanks for all these truth .. thanks , i appreciate it..
u said u had a crush with her* but u thought it wasnt possible to be with , .. and after so , u said u like me .. ya.. how true is that?.
ya , all those ' i love you ' and ' darling ' ..oh man!..
stop lying to urself as well as me can? u are making me look like a 101% fool.
are u treating me like a kiddo or something?
how does it feel if u really love someone , but she cant meet you everytime? how would u feel?
we are tgh for 18 days ler. and another 12 day , its our ani.. and i think i can forget it. all my thoughts and plan for our first month , all ,can be deleted from my mind..
i can tell u , those i love you taht i said , i meant it.. u may not believe it.. its ok..
its a one-sided love afterall. its being me myself and i all along , there's no u at all.
ya , i told pple i hav a bf , but i dun feel so xin fu as the others, the gave their love to their partner , and got what the other's in return. as for me.. i gave , but i got nothing ..
its not i like to act pityful . but its like this.. i dunno what i did to deserve such ' good ' blessing..
my frends kept askin my why recently i hav been lookin so emo. and i told them i was ok. after which it made me feel worst... i cant stand it , so i blunt it out .. i cried in front of them , cos i really cant control anymore.. he 's always been like this, even i told my frends what happened , his tone is always so heavy , jus why are u treating me this way?
its like . no matter how busy you will be , at least a sms or a call , to tell me that u are okay.. i really care for you.. but i dun seems u know it.
u din show me love nor care at all.. all i got was , ' busy busy andddd busy '
this shows me that you dun care..
these few days , i smsed you with like ' dear mus drink more water ok? '
and u din reply ...
and i messaged him again.. ' dear , u there? '
but then he replied ' hmm ya why? '
its like , he used to call me darling , now not even a name for me..
he used to call me penguin so do i.. but now , i am a nobody to him now..
it seems so far away..
got once , that was the last time we met .. meaning 2 weeks ago..
i told him .. dear, we seems so far away . liek a gap is in btwn..dont u think so?
he replied , ' no , i dun think so . we are jus fine aint we ? '
we were in the mrt.. thn i joked with him , saying ' ok los .. thn u go find a better girl los. with big breast de ' thn he was like , ' u are a girl leis.. say things so rough de. not like girl los. ' thn suddenly i kept quiet . thn he find it strange.. so he asked me , ' why so quiet?. ' i said nothing.
thn he said , ' ok los. next time i ask you something i will not tell you los.. i copy u say nothing los.. thn dun blame me what angeling know and u dunno ar.. '
i almost felt like crying okay! but i din lurhs.
hmmm then i reached home . we din hold hand on our way back . but he kissed me.. thanks for it. but , i dun need it anymore le.. and i know i will never get the chance to hav you again..
you are worth being loved by someone else..
and i know , ur ex , might still be waiting for u ..
well who cares? if so , i also dun even hav the rites to do so ..
hahas! i dun wanna interfere ur life anymore. and i know u dun need me either.
and recently , i asked , ' penguin , do you think we should carry on with this realtion? mus reply ar. '
and his answer was, ' dunno ' thn i said ' what's dunno , either a yes or a no , i respect ur decision. '
he said ' dunno , what about you? '
i replied. ' ur ans sure is yes de . hahas '
' wen did i said yes? if u wanna decided for mi , fine , i respect ur decision '
its like WTF los.. hais.. suan le. i was so damn depressed .. i asked jiejie to call me .. and we chatted..so did meimei. then she got someting to do so we hanged.. so i called rosanne mum for help.. and yup we chatted.. hahas. very funny de lurhs..
thn she suggested , ' why dun u gib him a call? miracle do happens '
so i do as she told .. i smsed ' can u spare me sometime ? please .'
he replied ' ya . what? dun say please. '
so i called him .. on the pone , his tone dun seems to care, like wanna put down faster like tt , its like having a little time from him , its as it take his whole life time los.. so i quickly said what i wanna say lurhs.. he kept saying dunno to my question.. ' 1/4 is u 3/4 is work. how u wan me to decide? '
and yes. this told me so , i hav to give up..
me and rosanne popo chatted till late nite, so told me alot of her stuff.. this woke me up los..
she injected some sense to me. and i hav learnt it.. thnks mum! u are really a good leader!
can always count on u! ((((:
and so i sent him a message as wat mum told me to type de.
telling him that let him stable his work first and wen everythg is done , contact me back.. and saying that i will wait for him and told him not to misunderstand this wasnt meant of breaking..and i asked if its okay for him.. and yes! u've got it rite..
HE DIN REPLY!!
wahhahahs! expected de ma.. hahas! suan ler.. hahahas..
well.. i tried to give him some time to think abt it. but it seems that there's no need for it. so i called it off ba.
although i asked angeline to find out , but i think the answer will still be the same de.. well.
make him hate me more , so i can forgets him faster ok!
hahas! no matter what .. thanks for accepting me in the first place. gratful that u ignored me..
anyways.. i dun wanna make things very bad for both of us.. he has a bright future.. and me , i am only a student from beauty , i 've got a long way till i succeed. so , find someone who u will cherish and love her with all ur heart ok!?
well.. i thank god i get the chance to know you , bcos he made me realised , not to accept someone whom u dun love and push them away suddenly without u noticing it.. wen the feel is not there anymore , try someway to let it go , cos u will suffer , not him! god , i trufully thank you for the everything i hav encounted and realied from this relation.. i will cherish my next and get a good life ahead of me.. love you god..
and yes, u dun hav to contact me anymore . cos i wont me doint it either.
lets not be frends cos it will make everything weird.. and thnks for telling me u love me once.
i treasure the love u giv me.. but i know i hav to let go ler..
its time where we must concentrate and cherish life even more .
hope u get to find the true MISS RITE for u..
may god bless you..
take kares.!
My world my life
