sept o1
1837pm
its been 15 days since we are tgh ler.
and it seems that we are not tgh any longer lers.
and yes , i do love him . but it seems that he is too busy for me.
and what my frends said is that , no matter how busy that person might be, if he really loves you , he will always find time to acc u.
but no! he din.
he kept saying he was busy, but what pple might say is.. it's jus an excuse.
i kept asking what i am to him. but till now , what i get was , wait wait and wait..
and now , i no longer need the answer. cos i already get what he means..
he dun love me at all.
yup , he's handsome , he can get someone better..
more understanding , more matured and prettier.
its so easy , jus find a girl , communite well and yes. tgh!
but i am too selfish ler.
i cant keep him to myself, he needs air to breathe. and i am like.. hais.
forget it. i jus think he isnt so serious with me.
i thought i really founf someone whu i will be serious with , but it seems that i dun hav the fate ba.
all i want was ur love , ur care and ur understanding. but it seems both of us dun hav that for one another.
hais.
and its been 11 days since we last met , i really miss u , but i think , u dun miss me at all.
i know i cant be as perfect as ur previous.
and i know that your heart dun even hav me at all.
those times u called me ' dear ' its jus for a calling , and its jus somethg that will make me happier.
and the kiss u gave me, is jus a broken hope u gave me.
the first time u holded my hand and say , u love me , its all a lie.
yup , its jus me myself and i...
only me , lying to myself that i had ur love. where i found that i dun really hav it from the beginning..
and now , although its only been 15 days . but my heart have already gone to u. but i think , ur heart , wasnt with me all along.
well. its a one-sided love all along ..
i try ways and means to tok 2 u . but all i got was a cold shoulder again and again.
till now i freezed lers..
although u dun really feel that my heart has been with u all along , but , its the truth that i really love u ... and i truly care for u as well.
i kept telling myself to hold on one last time, and i ever thought of telling you i wanna end it right here right now. but i din, cos i know , sure there's a day whereby u will hav the time to tok to me and love me back again.
the answer to every of my question was , busy busy and busy.
yup i know u are busy. and i know i cant meet u again.
everytime i asked if u are free anytime , but its a no reply..
how could i ever hav the time or a chance to even see you nor tok 2 u?.
its been so hurtful to my heart. now there's wound..
if i hav a wish , i wish that u would always be there for me , love me , care for me , hold me once last time again..
i am falling , like the falling leave ..
now , i am watching a show , and its a saddest part of all.
this couple , was happily tgh. and at last , they are walking in the streets tgh.. after flying to countries to help the poor , curing them from illness..
then this nite, they were holding hands, happily tgh walking along the streets. then suddenly , a pone call for the guy , so he said. ' one minute ' and girl says ' ok '
while toking , this guy , was walking while on the pone. and suddenly , his key dropped off from his pocket to the road , and so the girl went to pick it up . without notice of the guy , jus as she reached out for the key, she was banged down from behind. she bleed of course . and soon , the soul , went off her. this guy was so shocked upon seeing his gf lying helplessly on the ground , he told the caller to call an ambulance immediately , and ran straight to his girl , holded her , helped her breathe again by doing cpr on her. but yet , she was gone ....
if this situation happened to me , would u do the same?
i was so foolish thinking back why i cut those lines. and now what i've got was scars. its so ugly. and the worst thing is , the hurt got worst as well..
the first few days wen we were tgh .. u sent me sweet messages, even morning messages..
but now , sent 10 message to u , i only got back 2.. and sometimes not even one.
yup , i am irratating. i know it. and i am selfish , not understanding enff.
sometimes, wen i wanna say something , i really dare not say . cos i scare losing u. i really love u alot. but ...
do u feel the same as well? do u love me like i love you?
i smsed u everyday , cos i really care for u.. i wanna know how u hav been .. do u care for me as well?...
think , think again.. although i am irratating, but do u understand why i am so?
ur expectation for ur girl is, gentle ,soft spoken... but do u know ?.. i am rough , i talk loud. ask around , ask angeline. see how i am in school!
i scold vurglities. and upon hearing u dun like girls like this , i changed. i din scold so much since then.. ask around again..
see how i really was.
the feeling u give me now , was so cold then b4. ok , being busy is 1 thing. but ... like i said, no matter how busy u are, at least send a message telling me u are fine..
is sendin a message take u a long time?
if this is so. ok well.. suan le. dun msg me den...
if its really so wasteful of ur time jus by send me a message. then i really got nth to say..
sometimes , i really wish i never know u. cos if thats so, i wont get hurt lers.
hais.
i guess i was jus thinking too much..
some negative stuff..
hais..
could u jus spare me some time . so i can know what answer u will give?
i love u penguin. i hope u feel it....
My world my life
