o9o9o7
1836pm
today woke up with some hope,
hoping that he would reply me.
cos he went out till late yday.. dunno with whu..
hope its a girl ba..
hahahas! hmmm.. mayb other girls can give and understand what he wants ba.
sowie penguin , i not understanding enff.
and dun hav to think if u should give me a chance to patch ler.
its ok.
let other girls do this job. its not i gave up on u. jus that , i think a better girl somewhere , can give you a more caring and loving partner.
i didnt do so well as ur partner , as i said , i not understanding enff.
althought its kinda pain to m heart , but it was me who wanted the break off de.
and he was kind aangry with it .. i dunno why..
mayb its that i said i will wait for him, but in the end i said to break..
hhahas. i sound so childish sia.!
cnnt tahan.
but well. he din reply nor msg me the whole day . think , this is the end of me ler.
i mus thank angeline helping me to ask..
but actually i was thinking , he likes her de , but dun dare to tell.
hmm.. cos everytime we tok , angeline name will be heard. and well..
hahas!
saying they are only kor and mei . i got nth to say ler ba.
hahas. frends says , wen one wan to be ur mei or kor or di , what eva. is that they wanna get close to you thn will go on further cases los..
but well.. up to them ba.
angeline is a good , trustable and understanding girl , who wont like her?
hahas.
well its ok.. since god made things the way it will be , i cant force it . i dun hab the rite to do so rite?
let natural take it courses. this was what justin said to be wen we broke off few years back..
ya.. i also think that way too. ' whats' urs , will always be yours, even though if u lose it on ur way, it sure will come back to u. and whats' not urs , will never come back to u nor , even if u force it , it will never be yours. '
i thank god giving me a life to live in this world , knowing different kind of pple , and going through up and downs, giving me emotion / facial expression , to show if i am happy nor sad. i thank god for giving me a healthy me (:
pple , please dun mistaken , i not christian . i am a free thinker? lols!
duno (:
well.. so , if he wanna find some one better , please do .
anyways. on friday, miss soh suddenly came to sit with us after sch , hav lunch tgh.
so she asked if we've got a bf. everyone ok!
so we answered . i thought i can siam from her.. thn she say , jinwen leis?
cos i pretented i was asleep , thn angeline called me , so i hav to wake los.. lols!
thn ask ler , i told her what happened.. thn she also advise me to break with him..
its always easy to say something , but difficult dealing with the consequences.
hais. and yes, i regretted , but what to do? i hav already apologise all i could, but he refused to help me.. and angeline too , thanks darling.. now i've got the answer lers . i should let go ,
even rosanne mum asked me to let go . and also wanted give me free brain wash session.
thanks pple , thanks for helping me , but now , its the matter of the heart. my heart says no! dun!
but what i want , my mind , tells me , jus let go ..
i a very confused now. its like , i am going through a maze. dunno which way is the way out.
its really hurtful.. and head-spinning. but , it a process of life.
i hav to understand that , not everything will lies in the way we want it to be.
and now i understand why...
anyways.. this morning i messaged him..
' morning! you mus take kare wor. tonight sailing liaos , drink more water ok. bring a jacket along , might be cold in the nite . misses '
but well . he din reply.. its ok lurhs..
at least i given all that i could , i care all that i want.. but since he dun feel anythg , thats about it ba.
its been 20 days since we met . another 8 days to our ani. but seem that , its all a lost hope ba..
and the gift? well
it will never be handed to its owner.. think i hav got an idea.. a dramatic de.
throw it into the sea.. it sure will sink. so its ok.. let it sink ba.. since he dun wan it , and i dun wanna keep it either.. the more i see it , the more i get sad and heart craking..
all i can do now is to concentrate on my studies , i wanna hav a bright future!
i dun wanna be a rag , always being used to do dirty stuff. and being control or pushed around..
i wanna hav it m way this time! i mus do it. cos if others can , i am sure i can too.
and i know i can do it!
and yup today morning , went out with family , hav break1st @ my previous house area.
thn went to compass point , go there slack / waste our time ..
thn ivan came to meet bro .
well today mum bought me a case to put my make up thingys , so sweet rite?
hehehs!
anyways. while having breakfast , bro asked if i broke up with him ler.. thn i was like , dunno lurhs.. thn suddenly they tok about justin , saying why din i treasure him bluhbluhbluh~
excuse me pple! like what i said , whats mine will always be mine ma .. rite ?hehehs!
its ok.. he's my past , now i lookin for my mr.present (:
well.. thn in the car , on our way to compass point..
bro said about rosanne mum, sayin how me and mum was related . so i said lurhs..
thn say , aiyar. ' mummy faster go hoome , i wanna tok to my princesssss~ '
so er xin. kns! still say , she gave him her number.. lols!
mum! why u so gong , giv him waste ur $$ nia!
!@#$#%$%^@# ! well nvm
mum! mus xiao xin okok?
hahhas!
hmmm... now that jonathan hav lost hope on me , thn i hav to too.
i cnnt think of him again ler.. and rest assure , i wont contact u anymore, our story ends here.
and , i hope that everthg will go fine for you.. now is the time i should really not think of these stupid stuff lers.. but anywas..
on fri, after i asked for break , he said actually he wanted to find time to ask me out de, but thn since i say break ler , so he no need to do so ler. and he said sleep at home ..
this made me cry again! kns!
and yes, he din even care what.. hahas. yup , he din look me up either.
so i guess, keepin him , dun do me good.
i really need sometime , not long , to forget him ba.
jus that , i am kinda jealous wif angeline.. for some reason..
ahahs! well.. back to work liaos!
studyy studyy studyy~
mus wake at 445 tml! omg!
sure die de!
hehes!
nvm! strvie towards my goal !
pple~
STRIVE WITH ME!
(:
this was how i looked , the whole day!
the gift , which will never be handed to its owner.
My world my life
