- relationship and friendship issue -
it seems like , i dun hav the courage , the will and the strength to hold on any longer.
firstly , jon. well. i smsed him askin if we could get back tgh again.. nono.. i asked it this way..
' sowie to distur you again , only wanna ask a final question . do u think we still hav the chance? '
his reply was , ' why ask this silly girl? '
thn i replied ' no lurhs jus asking '
J ' oh , but i dun get what u mean leis. '
Mi ' isnt it clear enough ? '
J' oh , dun i dun understand leis. '
Mi ' oh thn nvm los. '
J ' oh ok . so how's sch today ? '
Mi ' hai hao lo '
J ' oh then taken lunch? '
Mi ' yup taken ler . you? '
J ' ya taken ler '
Mi ' then ok ba. about the previous message , i mean that i still like you and that i hope that we could be tgh again. tc ba '
after which , no reply from him .. till now.
but despite that , i smsed him 2 more .. look ahead.
' thn i ask another question . isit possible? '
no reply .
' suan le . dun wan to sms u nor i wanna see ur msg anymore ler. thanks '
thats all for now..
think this is clear enff to end our so called ' frendship ' as well ba.
i really buay tahab this kinda guys . u know why?. cos they dun even hav the courage to tell pple how the really feel. yup.. it might be mysterious to you. but to me .. its such a shi bai thing . cos. they are only tao bi from what they are doing. jus cant u tell the truth that u still like him or her. why do i hav those courage to tell u and not getting shy or what so ever? i know this is ur chara . but , those pple around u , might feel fustrated with u . u dunno it urself. so now i am tellin u . u can say i am stupid and childish to post this here and let everyone know what u are. but please. wake up! . i am not gonna wait. and dun think i cant live without you . and u know what , i will live my life better without you.
yes. A ask me to jus be patience and jus wait and see. but sowie . i waited too long . and i dun wanna continue getting so foolish and look like a fool.
suddenly THEIR attitude towards me is like . shit . i dunno what happened btwn them i mean , they might spout somethg behind my back and its like.. yup. i am so called a brainless person , i tok without even going through my head.. hahas. its like. so be it ba. since u all dun wanna look at me , tok 2 me or joke with me , its fine . this semester i mus do better thn u . i know it might be difficult. but i am sure i can do it. its kinda disappointing wen x result was better thn mine. and yes. was kinda angry with myself as pple whu din really study , did better thn me. bcos i studied like hell , and yet i got lower thn them . its like a knife stab in me. i dunno why suddenly i feel this way and also why they are treating me like a stranger now. i dunno why. ever since the chalet . i felt that , the bond , the string , about to broken. well . i mus do really well now. i mus do even better thn before. dun think cos ur results are better u can lead the way . look out . cos i will lead the way better thn u do. jus u wait ba. and yes. this post is to vent my anger to . so dun mind ar.!
and yes, he suddenly replied.
' what's wrong with you ? why u nv change ? cant u give me time to think? '
but i din reply.
all i hav to say is .
yes. nv will i change , why change for a person who he dun even care? what if i changed? would u treat me diff? i din change? what abt u? did u? did u change the way of expressing urself and the way u care for pple ? . no! time to think. haven i gave u enff time to even think? today suppose to be second month stupid enff to keep remembering this number. ya.. now i give u time to think . u hav the whole world's time to think . happy thinking then. no matter what.. i will nv sms u again so dun bother to even text me. thanks!
-----
5pm++
i was asleep . and wen i woke cos of the cold outside , i saw my message with two new message . by him. wasnt concerned msg . but raged message.
1st msg..
' i tot u hav changed. but ever since ur last msg ,i know u haven change . dun wan reply rite? fine..'
2nd msg..
' take a look at your last message i sent me . dun give me attitude '
sometimes my words can be harsh , but its becos of anger, jus why he cant understand?.
next ting i did was of cos reply..
' i admit i din change.. but i din give attitude. jus telling you sometimes its very fed up wen one cant read one's mind. its not about attitude , its abt patience .since that day wen u say u still like me i tot we have chance but , its only my wishful thinking. '
J replied :
' oh now my fault is it? i work already very tired and somemore get myself injured . u only think for yourself . give me attitude still wan argue .. well done '
i replied :
' no i din say its ur fault dun misunderstand can? its that sometimes you do somethg i really dun understand thats y i think negatively then lead to this '
J replied :
' but do u need to give me this attitude? '
i replied :
1 -' no. becos i was angry too thats why i nv think le jiu say.'
2- ' dun angry le lurhs. sowie for those words . you should understand how i felt too ba. reply me wen u ok le k . '
J replied :
' u should change ur attitude... getting from bad to worst... '
somehow i think i dint do anythg wrong. i dun understand what's going in his mind.. i kena scold for nothing. think its very shuang?. its so hurting.. i really think he isnt worth my heart... and think. he wasnt the one for me as well....
My world my life
